I like scrambled eggs.  They are soft and comforting.  However, when my mind is scrambled I find no comfort in that.  These past two weekends I’ve endeavored to do my taxes.  Doing taxes in the time of Coronavirus is less than optimal.  That said, I am going to take a nap.  An afternoon siesta is not a usual practice, especially when slogging through last year’s numbers.  In the past I’ve faced the forms down and I get through it, complaining while I add up sums and input data.  Today is different.  I don’t have the wherewithal.  I’m having difficulty focusing.  Taxes in a pandemic is another ridiculously compulsorily task we’re forced to endure.  

Nap completed and I’ve taken a brief refuge in writing this now.  I see the calculator staring me down, so I’ll have to resume my taxes in a little while.  When I do, I imagine I’ll go slowly.  I’d love to rush through it.  But having made mistakes in the past, I prefer slow and steady to the headache of a future audit.  

Because it’s a rainy day I am less inclined to venture out, making this a theoretically perfect day for paperwork.  But as far as I’m concerned, paperwork is a necessary evil, not a respectful task worth my time and energy.  Taxes aren’t fun.  At least that’s been my experience.  

I didn’t always feel that way.  There was a time a few decades ago when I was proud of my record keeping and my ability to have organized files.  It wasn’t until I worked for others as a side hustle, helping with their bookkeeping, that I found out that I deluded myself with my organizational skills.  My acumen with an adding machine was deeply flawed.  I missed receipts and tabulated sums incorrectly.  My false confidence was exposed.  

I have no such confidence now.  Nor do I wish to acquire it.  I respect others who excel in bookkeeping and accounting.  This is their season to shine.  Kudos to them.  I hope to complete my taxes in the next two weeks when I will send it off to our wonderful accountants.  For now, though, I will go back to the numbers.  And, I think I’ll have scrambled eggs for dinner to comfort me when I’m done for the day.  

Self-care tips:

• Change up your routine.  Try to do things differently for a fresh perspective. 
• When going into an unwanted situation, place a few dabs of a scent you like on your wrists or other points, so you can take in the aroma when things get tough.
• When multi-tasking, see if there’s a way to focus in on one task and get some or all of it done before moving on to the next task.  This gives you a better chance of having a sense of satisfaction with your work. 
• Shred.  It can feel great to get rid of old papers. 
• Do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around.  That’s what it’s all about.