A couple of days ago I installed an iPhone update. I find this new format annoying. I get it, things change. But sometimes the changes come all at once and too fast. I just wasn’t ready for a new change, small as it is.
I often hear from spiritual leaders, meditation teachers and self-care gurus that change is inevitable. Just this week I was listening to Dan Harris and Anushka Fernandopulle speak of the impermanence in life on the Ten Percent Happier App. I meditated in it. And I was as calm as I could be following each mediation. The idea of impermanence is appealing. It helps us accept whatever comes our way. At least that’s my philosophical take. But when I encounter change in real life, as much as I apply the concept of perpetual change, the reality feels very different.
One would think that my spontaneous side would embrace change. And when it’s a small change, I’m okay. But when it’s a small change like an iPhone update in a time of big changes, it feels less okay. I’ve been agitated. I overshare. Truthfully, it’s more over-complaining than sharing. And my self-care is more on the impulsive side rather than a thoughtful consideration of what’s needed given these changes.
As we shift into holiday mode, which can upend our regular routines, I will do my best to be patient with myself. Yes, change is inevitable, and living with change is unescapable. Feeling my irascible emotions while going through change is my challenge. I’ll do my best to bring patience and kindness in those moments. And, when I don’t, I will have many more opportunities to learn how to cope with kindness since change will predictably show up again and again.
- As the holidays approach, make a list of what you enjoy most and what you can change that will bring some ease to the holidays. Feed the joy of the season, while letting go of the parts that rob you of that joy.
- Remember to thank those who have been generous of heart. Sometimes small acts make a huge difference. Saying thank you perpetuates kindness.
- When feeling frustrated or upset in the face of a change, stop, take a breath, and ask yourself what you need. If you’re able to give that to yourself, great. If not, then see if there is anything else that will bring ease at that particular time.