Finding Peace, The Fifty-First Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal

This week I’m sharing some past sunsets.  Seeing sunrises and sunsets makes me smile.  Sunsets remind me that nothing is permanent.  And sunrises are an apt metaphor that we always have a chance at a new beginning.  Both sentiments give me some peace.  And we could all use peace.

Too often when thinking of global peace we think it’s up to world leaders.  Or we can feel the futility of hoping for peace.  It’s easy to feel powerless when there are wars in too many regions of the world. When anger and hate fill our media outlets peace can seem allusive.  As a child, as with many of us, we learned the lyrics “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.”  I sung that song by rote.  I didn’t really think of what I was saying.  I found the tune bland.  I was not inspired.  And, yet, now when I hear talk of peace, and other songs referencing peace, I’m uplifted.  

Perhaps we can start with a smile.  It’s a small act, but it’s something we can offer.  There is a happy meditation that suggests we smile when we breath.  It changes our perspective and allows us to feel a bit lighter in the process.  And when we share a smile it brightens up someone else’s day. In the past I might smile from time to time, feeling good when people smiled back.  Admittedly I was resentful, as if I wasted a smile, when a blank stare or an unsmiling face looked back at me.  But I can’t really know if it was a wasted smile.  They may have had a delayed reaction.  In that case, I wouldn’t have been privy to a positive impact.  These days, I do my best to simply smile.  I don’t always get a smile in return, but when I do, I am doubly happy.   

 I suggest we all start smiling.  It may be an act of disruption since there has been a trend towards frustration, ire, and apathy.  But we can pierce through the murkier emotions and land on a piece of peace. 

This is not to say we should deny our feelings and err on the side of looking on the bright side.  That does nothing but perpetuate the murkiness.  Instead, we can acknowledge how hard it’s been and still share a smile with ourselves and others.  News cycles always use fear and anger as their hook.  Let’s lead with a smile, letting kindness be the hook.  Let’s nourish our joy rather than feeding our fears.  It’s a small step that can lead to collective inner peace.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • Take three deep breaths smiling while breathing.  See if it changes how you feel.  
  • Challenge yourself to smile at others and see how it feels.  What comes up for you when they smile back?  And what happens when they don’t respond positively?  Take note of your feelings.  Then challenge yourself again to share a smile.  
  • What makes you smile?  Remember to watch, read, listen to, or enjoy whatever makes you smile.  

Cautiously Optimistic, Week 43 in the Time of Coronavirus

Is this really a Happy New Year?  Yes, we survived 2020.  And, yet, recalling how happy we were to be in a new decade just a year ago, we are constantly reminded of the unexpected turn of events in March.  

In this first weekend of the new year, we take stock of the meaning of “hindsight is 2020.” Relieved that 2020 is behind us, our memories are raw from all we witnessed, and all we faced personally.  I now know the impact of ongoing stress on my body and mind.  I am just beginning to understand what is required to sooth myself and support others going through the intensity of extreme tension.  Sometimes it means reaching out and caring for someone, taking the attention off myself.  Other times it means paying close attention to what I need, whether it be a nap, meditation, or another episode of Law & Order.  

I am appreciative of the laughter brought to me by New Yorker cartoons, silly memes, posts on social media, and absurd memories with my sister, Sharyn.  I have grown to love the color of the sky as I walk through the city streets and parks.  I am grateful to my grandfather, Sam, who watched nature shows like The Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom.  Though I was bored as a child who preferred to see The Jetsons in those early years, now that I’m his age from that time, I appreciate the pleasure of seeing animals in their natural habitats on the small screen.  

I have chosen not to make any resolutions.  I am not resolving to be better in any way.  Yes, I will work on bettering myself, but that remains a daily practice, one with many pitfalls, and flawed attempts.  And, this year, much like last year, I will pick myself up again, and again, dust myself off, and slowly move ahead.  If I remember I will look up at the sky in child-like wonderment.  A moment of awe whatever year it might be.  

Go gently into 2021, step by small step.  

Self-care Tips:

  • Alternate self-care behavior.  This way you find what works best, and what you need in different situations.
  • If and when you feel aches or pains, touch the area with care.  This is not a substitute for medical care, please attend to that.  This is a small gesture that affirms the healing power of touch.
  • Rather than thinking of all you will do in 2021, think of what you will no longer do.  Find the joy of saying no thank you to one or two “shoulds.”
  • Lower your expectations.  We’ve lived with a lot of disappointments this past year.  Lowering our expectations allows us to take in and act on what comes our way.  
  • Try something new, or try anything you’re not good at, like a new recipe, trying your hand at poetry, or learning a new language.  It helps us to develop humility.