Category Archives: walking

Letting Go in 2025, Week Fifty-Two in the No Longer New Abnormal

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I don’t know what 2025 has in store for us, but I do know that I am doing my best to let things go so I have the mental space to enjoy what good comes our way, and to endure what hardships might present themselves.  I think of letting go as a lifestyle edit.  However, I don’t have a great track record of editing my own stuff.  I give things away and quickly fill the void.  I attempt to open up time in my schedule only to return to my busy norm.  I believe in second and seventeenth chances, so I am cleaning out my drawers and closets, as best I can. I am limiting my activity to events that bring me pure joy.  Letting go is more a state of being than the action it takes to unload.  

In the service of letting go, I will be shifting when and how I post on this blog.  It may not be weekly, unless I’m so inclined.  I am going to try to create a bit of freedom from writing so that I can relax more.  It will be interesting to see what that’s like.  I’ve learned so much from these past years writing this blog.  The comments you sent lifted me up or had me look at blind spots.  I saw glorious New York City differently as I tried to share passing sights along the way. 

I am beyond grateful for those of you who have been readers.  It is my hope that writing this blog contributed in some way to whatever you’ve been going through.  I wish each of you moments of joy and grace throughout 2025 as you navigate a reality we dared not imagine.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • Make a list of self-care tips from past blog posts or from other sources.  Make sure they’re tips you can easily do and that you find helpful.  The list is a great resource when you’re stressed or feeling down and can’t think of what may be useful.  
  • Go through your sock drawer to rid yourself of socks with holes. But if you prefer, darn them.   It’s a little thing you can do to start the new year without past defects that are easily remedied.  
  • Enjoy the last vestiges of the holiday season by reliving the splendid Darlene Love when she performed her holiday classic on the last David Letterman Holiday Special.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsU08y9peZg

A Year in Pics, Week Fifity in the No Longer New Abnormal

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We have two and half more weeks until we get to 2025.  What a year it’s been.  Most of us struggled to understand and appreciate those who view things differently.  There has been a lot of vilifying.  I’m tired.  I bet you are, too.  Though there was also joy amongst the adversity.  So rather than write more about hardship or any other topic when we need a reprieve from more voices on the subject, I’ll leave you with some fun photos from 2024, with self-care tips at the end.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • When you’re pushing yourself, try a short break.  Sometimes stepping away can revitalize you and relieve some of the pressure. 
  • Conversely, when you are having a hard time starting something, take one small step towards what has to get done.  Do one push-up, write one sentence.  Run around one block.  Clean one surface.  Whatever it is one step forward will help move things in the direction of reaching 
  • Be silly.  Skip.  Hop up and down.  Do a silly dance.  Being silly helps us to take ourselves less seriously which in turn opens us up to youth and joy.  

Holiday Season, Week Forty-Eight in the No Longer New Abnormal

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Mixed emotions can easily create a holiday weekend potpourri  between the pressures of Thanksgiving and the demands of Black Friday.   Though expectations run high for a very Happy Thanksgiving and great savings on Black Friday, the truth is less grand and perhaps a bit messy.  I had the good fortune of enjoying a small Thanksgiving with a table of four at a local restaurant.  I was too tired to cook.  Being served was a small pleasure for which I was completely thankful. And sharing a meal with loved ones was a gift in and of itself.  That’s not to say that I don’t miss the larger family, but I was happy to do less.  Then came Black Friday.  My inbox, even before I woke up, was stuffed with advertisements for gifts, necessities, personal items and everything in-between.  I was flummoxed.  I felt pulled in every direction.  Do I take advantage of a daybed sale?  Or do I pick up small items for little gifts for those I appreciate and encounter in service jobs?  I was easily frazzled.  I spent much too much time online digging through the myriad of possibilities.  I felt stuck in a capitalistic loop of my own making.  

What is it about the big savings?  I don’t have to think hard about that.  My father was the culprit.  There wasn’t a sale he didn’t like.  We would drive around to Korvettes, Two Guys, Grants, and other low-priced stores.  His favorite savings places were liquidation warehouses.  We were able to get things we didn’t need, the sale itself being the real gift.  Often we were the recipients of things we didn’t want. But who could argue with the joy of my father’s tale of savings?  While he did teach me about being an informed consumer, I fight the urge to buy things I don’t need simply because it’s now 70% off.  For me Black Friday is less retail therapy than wholesale anxiety.  Tomorrow is Cyber Monday.  I hope I can maintain a sense of calm.  And then it’s giving Tuesday, which always feels like I’m leaving an important non-profit out to dry as I choose my usual suspects for donations.  

The desire to be able to give and receive seems endless.  The messaging appears to say, I must be grateful even when it’s a gift I don’t want.  I must be generous even when it’s out of my price range.  I must take advantage of a small window of discount opportunity.  I must be social, even when I’m exhausted and need to rest.  Too many “musts.”  It a challenge to feel as if we’re enough.  And when we don’t feel as if we’re enough because we’re feeling vulnerable, the “musts”  can feel crushing.  Perhaps we can lighten up, if possible.  Maybe we can reach out to let others know they matter.  Maybe we can do something kind for ourselves to let us know we matter.  And,maybe we can slow down so that the pressures of the season don’t push us down.  

Wishing you a healthy and peaceful season.  

Self-Care Tips:  

  • When buying gifts, or getting a bargain, put it in your cart, and let it sit there for a while before making the final purchase.  This way you can see if you really want it rather than making an impulse acquisition.  
  • Repeat the affirmation, “I am enough.”  That may be enough to confront all the messaging that suggests otherwise.  
  •  Give in small ways on Giving Tuesday and any other day.  Perhaps you can even find a new place to donate.  

MCNY, Week Forty-Seven in the No Longer New Abnormal

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The Museum of the City of New York on 103rd and Fifth Avenue is an unsung museum.  I love making this destination walk.  Even when I’ve seen all the recent exhibits, the gift shop is terrific.  And, they have a lovely café on the second floor, too.  But the museum, their exhibits and events are really something special.  MCNY, as it is known, is large enough to see something different in each exhibit, but small enough that you could enjoy the entire museum, knowing you’ve taken in art, history and local lore.  

I went this past week for their annual gingerbread house contest.  Not only is it a display of ingenious edible architecture, but the aroma alone creates an enticing atmosphere.  But I ended up staying for every other display, except the dollhouse, which I’ve seen on previous visits.  The Deco New York show is as rich and glamorous as it sounds.  The city in the 20th century is a comprehensive walk through history.  And the half-floor dedicated to Shirley Chisholm is an appropriate homage to a true trailblazer.  

I may not get all my paperwork and cleaning done, but visiting museums, as well as going to live theater, dance, and music events, brings ongoing joy that support my work, my heart and my soul.  What could be better than that?  Okay, equal or better would be those I love, my family, friends, colleagues and clients who also bring great joy to my life.  

What brings you joy? 

Self-Care Tips:

  • Write a list of tasks before bedtime. Once they are on the page for the next day or for the next week, it takes up less room in your head, allowing for more restful slumber. 
  • We can never get enough of this dynamic duo singing about Happy Days/Getting Happy:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFVxX3RtyhQ perhaps now more than ever.  
  • Visit the Museum of the City of New York.  And, if you can’t get to the city, here is the website:  https://www.mcny.org

Quotes for This Moment, Week Forty-Five in the No Longer new Abnormal

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Rather than add to the disquieting mix of this past week’s conversation, I am going to share two quotes that may be helpful now and going forward.  The first one was shared by my sister-in-law, Catherine North.  She has always been a champion for encouraging the best in those around her.  The second quote was shard in response to the first as a continuation of inspiration.  That was shared by a newer friend who I came to know during the pandemic.  Her name is Erin Falk and she lives with joy sharing her adventures as if we were there.  The pictures were taken this past week.  Walking helped me see what I love in and about the city of New York.  

This is by Howard Zinn, Historian and author, 1922 to 2010.  

“”To be hopeful in bad times is based on the fact that human history is not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act. And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to

wait for some grand Utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.”

And from the Writer and author, Toni Morrison, 1931 to 2019:

“This is precisely the time when artists go to work. There is no time for despair, no place for self-pity, no need for silence, no room for fear. We speak, we write, we do language. That is how civilizations heal.

I know the world is bruised and bleeding, and though it is important not to ignore its pain, it is also critical to refuse to succumb to its malevolence. Like failure, chaos contains information that can lead to knowledge — even wisdom. Like art.”

Self-Care Tips:

  • Go for a walk.  The sheer act of movement helps to metabolize emotions helping to bring clarity
  • Take in art.  See a film, read a book, view art, get to a live performance.  All art can be transcendent.
  • Buy the book.  In the Time of Coronavirus has many self-care tips that can assist throughout the next years.  If you have the book, just open it up and maybe you can find a tip that will help to soothe.  https://janetzinn.com/product/in-the-time-of-coronavirus  

It’s A Lot of Hard Work to Find Ease, Week Forty-Three in the No Longer New Abnormal

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In the USA we have a national and local election coming up and the stress related to that is palpable in most communities.  There is division and animosity.  Strong feelings are being played out in arguments, and in non-political spaces.  Road rage, short tempers and dismissiveness abound.  To offset that we have to make intentional choices.  Can we find lightness in all of this infuriation?  I’m working on it.  But it’s not easy.  Meditation works.  It’s not an instant fix, but the more I spend time focusing on the present the more I can stay in all the other present moments, and not get caught up in election anxiety.  Patience helps.  If I can understand that my expectation that things should go a certain way are in conflict with the reality at hand, I can calm myself down.  

I am not listening to news that instigates my ire for their ratings.  I read AllSides, https://www.allsides.com/unbiased-balanced-news, so I can understand opposing points of view and reach my own conclusions.  I also like 1440,  https://join1440.com. Neither are complete news sources, but I can follow a story if I want more.  The outline format is calming rather than activating.  I take walks, swim, and dance.  I love the arts, which immediately take me into a creative and often healing mindset.  Theater has been a balm in these times, as have museums, concerts and dance performances.  The city can be frenetic, which can heighten anxiety.  But the city is an amazing resource for the arts and green spaces that counterbalance that collective angst.  

Let us work to live with equanimity.  We may not wield political power, but when we feel that we have agency in our personal lives, we can find ease by acting in ways that align with kindness, consideration, compassion and respect.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • When you find you are getting agitated, take three deep breaths.  Ask yourself if the current situation is necessary?  Do you need a break?  Can you give yourself what you need at that moment?  And, if not, ask yourself what you may need later, and when you will be able to provide that for yourself?  
  • Humor is a great equalizer.  Find humor that is not harmful to others but allows you the freedom to laugh with abandon.  Think of old skits, tv shows, or comedians who have been funny from your past.  
  • Create space from people in your life who are instigators.  Whether you have to walk away because they just can’t help themselves, or whether you can find ways to communicate that limit their negativity, you will feel the relief very quickly.  

Unloading, Week Forty-Two in the No Longer New Abnormal

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I have too much stuff.  I just spent hours going through drawers and closets to clean out what I don’t want anymore and what I don’t need.  Though I’m happy I did that and now I can bring bags to the thrift store, and bags to the trash, I am still left with too much stuff.  Some things like outdated membership cards were easy to throw out.  Vitamins and minerals I rarely take, office supplies I may need at some unknown point in time, and other sundry items make it harder for me to determine their usefulness.  When I was younger and lived alone, the small apartment size made it easy to throw things out.  I simply didn’t have the space.  Though I am so grateful for all the storage space in our present apartment, I find that clutter accumulates in the recesses of those closets.  

Now my satisfaction of cleaning out my home office is tempered by how much I still have to get done.   This is the push me, pull me factor of much of life.  I do my laundry and a week later I do it again.  I go for a beautiful walk on a Tuesday and it’s time for another walk on Wednesday.  The more I reside in the mindset of what’s next, the more I lose the simple gratification of being in the moment accomplishing my set goal.  In theory, we should all live in the moment and be where we are.  But we are human, and our brains cannot be set to one mindfulness station.  So while I go back and forth reminding myself what has to get done, and feeling good about what I’ve already done, I can laugh at how easy it is for me to go from a mindful moment to a critical one and then back again.  Whether we’re cleaning out our space, meditating, walking, getting our laundry done, or doing all the things that make up our lives, we can notice when we are kind to ourselves, and when we slip into being hard on ourselves, practicing mindfulness moment to moment.  In some ways it’s like cleaning our closets, letting go of the thinking we no longer need, making space for more positive reinforcements.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • Go through old business cards, membership cards or reward cars and throw out anything outdated or no longer relevant.  
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  • If you tend to move ahead to what’s next, see if you can refocus to what you’re presently doing or where you are, and see if you can focus on something in the present moment.  It may surprise you how it releases stress. 
  • Take note of any pleasure derived from what you accomplish.  Adding moments of positivity builds our self-esteem.  

Happy/Sad, Week Forty-Two in the No Longer new Abnormal

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Have you ever done something that makes you so happy you can feel the sadness below the surface?  That is exactly what I’m experiencing now.  I went for a run.  The weather is beautiful in New York City.  Perfect for a run.  The sun was tucked under the clouds so that I could see a gleam, but I didn’t have to shade my eyes.  East End Avenue, right by the water, was free of traffic so that I could soften my steps with Asphalt rather than pounding the concrete pavement.  I was happy to get out after too long a break from running.  I didn’t overdo it.  I went as far as I could while respecting my limitations.  All was good.  Yet, while I felt gratitude and joy, I also felt heavy hearted.  There is much in the world that saddens me.  I see no easy fixes.  And, too many are struggling and even suffering due to dehumanizing beliefs, powerful weather forces, war, bullying, and judgement with righteousness.  Need I go on?  

It is hard to know what organizations get money, supplies and direct help to those in need.  I’m not always sure what to say to my friends and family who are in pain or dealing with health issues.  Or how do I tell my friends who have been hit by hurricanes, flooding and tornadoes that I’m thinking of them when, at the moment, our area hasn’t been hit by powerful forces?  How do I stay compassionate when so many are angry, and rightfully so?  Since I’m not certain what to do, I will send love.  My imperfect offer to those struggling.  Yet I still feel so much sadness.  I also feel the joy of connecting to others, of connecting with you.  Let us all find ways to bring love, care, support, and resources where and to whom we can.  

Self-Care Tips: 

  • Allow yourself to feel mixed emotions.  It’s a richer experience than controlling hard feelings. 
  • Offer thoughts and/or support where you can.  It can be for those you know or those who you know need immediate help.  
  • Exercise your ability to listen. Rather than sharing your own experiences, ask someone how they are and simply listen as they speak.   

Fourth Quarter, Week Forty in the No Longer new Abnormal

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We are entering the last quarter of 2024.  I feel like I’m rushing to accomplish what I had intended this year.  Some things take longer than others.  I had hoped I would have been able to promote my book more, but I had so much to learn.  And some of the promotion is not for me.  Given it isn’t what I had imagined, it’s important that I am grateful for what I could do.  I am grateful for all those who supported me and the book.  And, I am grateful for the lessons I’ve learned thus far, like the fact that I prefer smaller discussions to larger presentations.  And that I don’t enjoy marketing, nor have I ever enjoyed it.  Sharing something freely and needing to sell something are very different.  

I was in sales for a number of years in my teens and early twenties.  I started by working the cash register at my father’s shoe store.  I learned quickly that the description of a job and the job itself weren’t one in the same.  Being a cashier also meant vacuuming, stocking shoes, running lunch orders, and doing inventory.  I stayed in sales at local department stores, and when I came to New York City in 1981, I worked at Bloomingdales.  It was a glamorous store where I got to see many celebrities, imaging that this tentative connection had deep meaning for my hopes to be an actress.  I did love being there, though I was not so fond of the low pay.  But being in Manhattan and close to the theater district were enthralling.  It didn’t feel like sales, but more like sharing new discoveries.  

In the 80s, Bloomingdales was a hub of activity.  Andy Warhol walking through the store with his entourage was a regular occurrence.  Meeting Liza Minelli who was shopping with her sister, Lorna Luft, was not.  Waiting on Donald Sutherland was another highlight, finding his gentle demeanor as disarming in person as on the big screen.  I also loved the special international features and displays throughout the store that promoted fashion, art, films, food, and history from whatever country was being showcased.  So when I was passing through Bloomingdales yesterday it was nice to see that they were experiencing a renaissance.  Italy was having its moment at the flagship store.  I waxed nostalgic remembering the energy of those earlier years.  Glad to see the store, at least for this moment, has gone back to its roots.  

Now while I look back on the many fortunate experiences I’ve enjoyed, I will go into the last quarter of this year to create new memories.  I’ll enjoy seeing actors on stage exercising their craft rather than shopping on their time off.  I will slowly promote my book on my terms.  And, I will appreciate working as a psychotherapist with amazing individuals, rather than as a salesperson seeing others for brief encounters.  

Self-Care Tips:  

  • Review what you’ve accomplished or learned so far this year, while thinking of what you may plan for the next three months.  
  • Slow down when possible.  It allows us to enjoy the moment even while moving forward.  
  • Remember that joy comes from feeling your feelings no matter how hard that can be.  Joy is not denying hard feelings and topping them with forced happiness.  

A Day Trip Downtown, Week Thirty-Nine in the No Longer New Abnormal

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I enjoyed one of the best New York City combinations this weekend, I made my way downtown to Gansevoort Street to see the traveling exhibit, The Great Elephant Migration, a large exhibit to support Asian Elephants in India in the Meatpacking District.  From there I stopped at the Whitney Museum to see a preview of a fabulous exhibit honoring Alvin Ailey.  Finally I stopped at Chelsea Markets for what I can only describe as a super delicious end to a wonderful day.  The halvah sundae at Seed & Mill is an amazing treat I discovered years ago and had yet to return before yesterday.  The entire experience was energizing and made me so happy.  

I can easily latch on to negative thinking if I am in the company of others’ upsets.  I wanted a nap, but instead I willfully walked across town to take the C subway to 14th Street to carve out this quintessentially New York City experience.  Though, the Great Elephant Migration will be coming to Miami and Los Angeles via Browning Montana. 

 https://thegreatelephantmigration.org  

These kinds of experiences make it a lot easier to take care of mundane tasks for the rest of the weekend.  And, though I post about special experiences my life, as well as most other lives, consist of mundane tasks.  That is not a bad thing.  When we appreciate how these tasks support our day to day the mundane can be the greatest self-care and care for others we provide.  Getting my laundry done, straightening up the apartment, walking Lucy, or stopping at the grocer gets me through my week.  And when there is an art exhibit or a new show in town those are simply the Halvah topping on the sundae.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • Breath in Ease, Breath out Stress.  Repeat. 
  • Rather than filling in your time with those who have become obligation relationships, see if you can set limits with them and find those with whom you can relax and be accepted for being yourself.
  • Turn on some music and dance.  Even one song can shift our energy.