I first started reading Roddy Doyle’s books as a young adult. I can’t remember if my sister, Sharyn ,recommended on of them, or if the movie The Commitments came out and I became an instant fan of his. Either way, his writing along with other authors such as Frank McCourt, Maeve Binchy, and Edna O’Brian had me long to visit Ireland.
After a good many decades I made it here. That is where I am as I write this in a hotel in beautiful Killarney Town. Today as we drove around the Ring of Kerry seeing spectacular views on one of the few clear and sunny days, my breath was taken away again and again. Even tonight, I was able to enjoy my first Irish sunset. Previous nights the clouds obscured any variation in color. Gray was the prominent hue throughout.
So, rather than tell you about this trip, which has been delightful throughout, I am sharing some pictures from my phone wielding photo app.
Thanks for taking the time to see a snippet of what I saw.
Self-Care Tips: Enjoy reading or listening to a Roddy Doyle novel. Funny & moving. Find a version of “Danny Boy” that you favor. Here is one blog with a number of versions: http://21essays.blogspot.com/2013/01/ten-great-recordings-of-danny-boy.html Think of books, music, and art that have influenced choices you’ve made in your life. It could be travel, recipes, occupations, friends, or anything else. Always important to see how the arts affirm us and change us.
This weekend I walked in the steaming heat enjoying Summer Streets while traversing Park Avenue without cars. I will miss the next two Saturdays, so it was a pleasant reprieve to have more than enough room while walking among pedestrians, runners, and cyclists. I am going away. Initially I packed for a hot summer, but according to the lower temperatures in Dublin I was ill prepared. Following my lovely and tiring walk, I unpacked and repacked for a ten-day trip to Ireland. Instead of tank tops and sandals I’m bringing sweaters and socks.
I am very excited. Reading Edna O’Brian and Roddy Doyle, starting in high school, have instilled in me a love of Ireland, though I’ve never step foot on the Island. It was my college friend, Shawn Wilson’s idea. We had been trying to get together for years. We both have busy professional lives with very different schedules. Shawn threw out the idea and the trip was planned within a day. Not only did we agree on the one week that was good for both of us, but she found an amazing local tour that appealed to both of us. Since I am usually the planner in my family, it was an extra luxury to have my friend take care of the details.
We’ll meet up in Dublin and go from there, probably taking too many pictures. In the meantime, I have a few off-the-beaten-path pictures of New York City, pre-vacation.
Self-Care Tips:
Hugs. If you know a good hugger exchange a great hug. If you are on your own, wrap your arms around yourself for a self-loving embrace.
Seek out something unusual for you. Read an article from another point of view. Look up an unfamiliar country and find out about its culture, foods, landscape and customs.
Enjoy in-season fruits and vegetables. The peaches are divine. The strawberries and blueberries are at their peak. And summer squash is sweet and versatile.
It’s a beautiful morning today. There is a light breeze, the sun is out but not scorching, and the sky is clear. The temperature dropped so it feels simply delightful. I left my apartment before 7:30 am so that I could get in a destination walk to and from Trader Joe’s to pick up a few groceries for the week. My plan was to be in and out before the Saturday rush. I was walking on the east side of the street, which is less sunny, thus cooler, in the mornings. When I approached 68th Street I was in back of someone else with a cart who had a similar plan at Trader Joe’s. She kept trying to get around a woman with her dog whose leash straddled the entire sidewalk. When I got close enough I said, “Excuse me, we want to pass you and your dog.” She didn’t move. I was less polite in my next attempt. “You’re taking up the whole sidewalk, can you move so we can pass?” “Fuck you” she said as she barely made room for us. As I made my way around her dog, I said “You don’t have to take the entire sidewalk.” My tone sounded as annoyed as I felt. Even though I had been happy to be out and about on a glorious day, I quickly turned into a grouch. Again, she repeated, “Fuck You!” This time louder so there would be no mistaking her ire. I didn’t look back, and I’m not proud to say that I then gave her the finger with my back to her. Only in retrospect could I think clearly and realize she’s not having a good morning. Did I need to add to that?
I can easily get annoyed with others. Earlier this week I had to hold my tongue more than once when I witnessed disregard for others, rudeness and disrespect. What I know from my work and friendships is that there is a lot of personal struggles going on now. I have to remember that each time I’m apt to criticize. Whether people are struggling financially, interpersonally or with the current political landscape, things are not easy. I notice my nervous system is on overdrive. Some days I want to nap more. Other times I want to yell. Though I didn’t yell this morning, I wasn’t pleasant either. I am taking my own emotional temperature, then applying whatever self-care tips I can to find peace wherever and whenever I can. Yes, it’s challenging. But it’s essential. Too many people are wound too tightly.
So, for this week, less writing, more sleep, and more ease. Simplicity during this societal quagmire is what’s on tap.
Self-Care Tips:
Give anonymously.
Enjoy gentle movement. Whether it’s dancing slowly or taking a stroll, gentle movement is calming.
When I was in the third grade I took my first trip to an art museum. It was a class field trip and I found the Philadelphia Museum of Art boring. We were on a tour and it was more about history and paintings of old wars than anything that interested me. Had the guide stopped by the Mary Cassatt portrait or explained Brancusi’s The Kiss rather than marching us past it to view Washington’s Crossing, I may have found my love for art a bit sooner. It took me until high school and many more visits to the Museum to learn what I like as opposed to what I prefer to leave on the walls on my way to better things.
This week while it was sweltering I made my way to The Metropolitan Museum. I had yet to see the roof exhibit, and I knew I could take a slow walk in the heat before returning to work. On the way I passed Park Avenue and took a look at art made from tires. While I appreciate repurposing discarded or unused material, I am not a fan of the art. The same can be said of some of the items I see at the museum. They may appeal to antiquities fans, but viewing scraps of pottery is not my idea of a good museum visit.
Luckily there is much to enjoy. I never tire of the Rodin hall, or the sculptures in the airy American wing. And there’s so many more amazing wings and exhibits to explore. However, I do believe even bad art is better than no art. Art challenges us. We use our imaginations. We find out about our ever-evolving tastes. I am grateful that Park Avenue brings the art to the public, even when it’s not to my liking. Over the years going downtown to Park Avenue South is much more satisfying for this art lover. The lower end of Park Avenue displays better public art, in my opinion. I’m looking forward to seeing what they have provided for us this summer. In the meantime, I will look out for pop-up art on my summer strolls.
Self-Care Tips:
If you can, go to a crafts fair where you can test out your aesthetic by assessing what you like and what might appeal to others.
Sigh loudly. A good sigh is such a great release that provides relief. (Just make sure you’re alone or you might startle those around you)
Watch a nature documentary or short film. Even if you aren’t able to get out in nature, films, photos and nature programs are a great way to be awed by other species and the planet itself.
We are officially halfway through 2024. It’s a great time to reevaluate then manage any expectations we’ve had for this year. This is the year I’ve had my first, and perhaps my last, book published. It feels good to have accomplished that. I am now in the weeds attempting to promote the book while working full-time. Promotions do not come naturally for me so it feels like I’m rolling a big bolder uphill uncertain if like Icarus is will roll down again. But I’m challenging myself to do what I can and then challenging myself yet again let go of the results. When I measure my self-worth by the results I produce I may experience a fleeting high, but in the end I try my best to be proud of going beyond my limits no matter how things turn out.
These days doing TikTok and Instagram videos with self-care tips is way beyond my comfort zone. Every day I tell myself that I can quit and enjoy some quiet time. I think I’ll keep going for now taking my quiet time in August like most traditional psychotherapists. I started the year with other goals as well. One was to give away more stuff than I brought in. I have been giving stuff away, but I am not great at letting go of things I like. I was also going to stretch more and do more yoga. I keep my yoga mat out in my home office. Many days it’s aspirational. But the mornings I include it in my routine I feel good. Not so much for checking it off my list, but for giving myself a little something extra to get through my day. I will take the wins where I can.
I hope this half-way mark of this year allows you to reflect on your accomplishments and take it easy on yourself for the ongoing hopes and aspirations you may have. There’s a time to push ourselves, and a time to be gentle. My experience has been when I’m pushing too hard it’s time for some gentle kindness. But really, when is it ever not a time for kindness for ourselves? No time I can think of.
Self-Care Tips:
Reassess what is possible and probable this year and find a way to accept this new information.
Look for free opportunities in your area. In NYC we have galleries, traveling Shakespeare, concerts and so much more. You may enjoy a local sports event, a history walk or whatever is offered locally.
Clean out your medicine cabinet. There’s bound to be expired products and cosmetics, soaps or other items you no longer use.
I was surprised today when I dropped my iPhone and the case cracked that it didn’t create a tailspin in which I cracked a bit, too. Instead, I was thankful that I gave myself a day with a flexible schedule allowing me to take Lucy and me to the Apple store to have my phone repaired. I even sat patiently waiting for my turn as Lucy demanded treats since it wasn’t her idea to leave our neighborhood. Luckily I unknowingly stocked enough treats for the day.
I can get a bit unhinged when things don’t go my way. When I plan for an easy day it usually does not include hours in pursuit of a phone repair. Somehow I wasn’t miffed. I did what I needed to do. Though they were unable to fix my phone today, they will have the part next week. And, Larry, who works at Apple, can take my phone in, leaving me phoneless for a day next weekend. But it’s not a day with a phone session, so I think I’ll be okay.
I am grateful for whatever was in play that allowed for a calm day despite the change in plans. I espouse going with the flow, but I am not always the poster girl for that sentiment. Somehow today was different. Maybe it had to do that I wasn’t under a tight schedule. Often self-enforces I try to get a lot done in any given day. Maybe today will help me to take it easy more. I have to say it certainly is more pleasant than adding pressure to accomplish more and more. In having less to do, I was able to take care of what was most important. Lucy got a long walk in, and I got to make sure my phone will be fixed.
All in all a good day, cracked phone included.
Self-Care Tips:
Try to lighten up your schedule to make room for the unexpected
Make a note when you have a different reaction to an unwanted situation. If you are more upset, check in with yourself to see if it’s added to existing stressors. And if it’s less than maddening, appreciate the moment and enjoy the emotional freedom when it presents itself.
Rather than judging yourself when you judge another, see if you can detach from the thought allowing that it’s a thought not an indictment of your character. When we judge ourselves for judging others we only add to our judgements. When we release the thought, we lessen what we deem unbecoming. Thus we are kinder to ourselves leading the way to have more compassion for others.
I spent five days this week recording short videos for my new book, In the Time of Coronavirus, Reflecting on the Past to Embrace a Joyful Future. I am uncomfortable promoting the book. I am not made for publicity and sales. They are not my strengths. But I am willing to move out of my comfort zone (though is life ever really comfortable?) and attempt to promote my book by sharing self-care tips from the paperback.
The lighting has been all wrong. I jerry-rigged a desk and a stack of books to record the videos. And, I have no idea how to edit , so you can see m turning the record button on and off. I see wonderful, professionally styled videos on TikTok. But every time I go to the app, I am flummoxed and can’t figure out some of the simplest issues.
I imagine I’ll learn through trial and error. Or I can hope to befriend a much younger person who can guide me past my antiquated ways. In the meantime, I will hobble along posting substandard clips. Hopefully the featured self-care tips will be value-added on these amateur endeavors. In the meantime, I’m living and learning.
Self-Care Tips:
Keep the self-care tips coming, buy In the Time of Coronavirus. Perhaps this tip is self-care for me. But it is my hope, you will benefit from the tips in the book.
Keep a pad & oen along with a small flashlight by your bed. If you have a hard time getting to sleep, or you wake up with thoughts swirling, writing worries or thoughts down long-hand without the assistance of a lit device, will help you to get the sleep you need.
When making a written request, reread what you’ve written to make sure the request is clear thus enhancing your chances of getting what you want.
This Tuesday I become a published author with In the Time of Coronavirus, Reflecting on the Past to Embrace a Joyful Future. To that end I am doing everything I know to do to promote this book, working to get it into stores, sites and libraries and into readers’ hands. It is a daunting task. I am overwhelmed, yet very excited.
I am grateful to all of you who pre-ordered the book. Not only does your support mean the world to me, but it also provides a small foothold into the publishing world. Any reviews to Goodreads, Amazon, Barnes and Noble or other review outlets would be greatly appreciated. I am not comfortable asking for your support, and yet, I am willing to step out of my comfort zone to say please and thank you.
I am hopeful that the book will provide some support for its readers. Given today and days ahead with much to accomplish, I am writing a short blog. Wishing you a lovely weekend, and again, thank you.
Self-Care Tips:
Take one small step towards a goal you desire. We often think we have to accomplish so much, but each small step moves us closer to our goals. Put one dollar away towards a major purchase. Clean one small surface even if you have an entire home to clean, etc.
Contact someone from your past to let them know what a difference they made in your life. We often don’t let people know and then regret not saying something when it’s too late.
Make a mental note or write it down if you like of at least one thing off the top of your head for which you’re grateful. As for me, I am so grateful you’re reading this.
How could it be that the weather in New York City is better than the weather here in Los Angeles? This is my second trip in the last few years and it’s also the second time when it’s too chilly to enjoy the “always” good weather of L.A. As the day goes on the sun warms the streets, not to a perfectly mid-70s day, but at least the temperature rises to the high 60s.
I booked a hotel with a pool, but I don’t know if the heated water will keep me warm in the early hours of the morning. It would be great to swim as the sun rises. I imagine I’ll wake up early since it’s three hours later in New York, and I have yet to adjust to West Coast time.
As it turns out the pool is properly heated and my solo swim at 7 am was long and luxurious. No one came to the pool, and I was able to have an under-water meditation in motion. A great way to start my day.
I will be attending a wedding, one that I’m very much looking forward to. I already had a chance to catch up and laugh with friends, and tonight I can continue with that. There’s something so special about meeting up with friends when it feels as if no time at all has gone by, even if our hair is greyer and our joints are creakier.
I had to shorten this trip to get ready for my book launch on June 4th. I’m glad I came, but there are endless list of things to get done to try to make this book a success. Though, it’s already a success if I consider all that I’ve learned in the process. Not always easy or fun, but lessons well learned, nevertheless. I’m happy to enjoy this short break with friends, and I’ll be happy to be home to race against the clock in accomplishing all the lies ahead.
Self-Care Tips:
Keep a book, hard cover or paperback by your bed for nighttime reading. There’s nothing like holding a solid book in hand and allowing the written word to woo you to sleep.
Slow down. We tend to make mistakes when we rush. I know this from a multitude of personal experiences. When we slow down our focus tends to sharpen, and we can accomplish the same amount because we don’t have to go back to fix our mistakes.
Challenge your taste buds. Try a new cuisine. Or try something familiar with spices and herbs you don’t usually eat. There are many ways to spice up our lives, this suggestion is meant to literally spice up your life.
In thinking about what to write this week I wondered if I should write about Mother’s Day. But I decided that rather than writing more on the day that brings up so much for so many, I’ll limit my input by briefly folding it into the self-care tips, Then there have been amazing pictures online of the rare Aurelia Borealis. Though I didn’t witness it myself, those who captured the colorful wonder have posted images that defy words. What I’ve settled on is to say that when I reread my book a couple of months ago, In the Time of Coronavirus, for the last look before submitting it for publication, I became very uset. I thought, “Who do I think I am?’ and “what could I have been thinking?” and, “This is bad. I’m so embarrassed!” I have a long history of berating myself. At that moment I questioned my writing, and my hubris for thinking I could put a book out into the world.
I very down on myself. But I had gotten so far and I decided to give the final go-ahead, knowing I’d have to with all my feelings. It had been a dream of mine to be an author, and it was okay if this was my first, if flawed, book. I had learned a lot and I still have a lot to learn, so this would be a dream come true, even if there were things that upset me.
Once it was in pre-publication, the publishing date is June 4th, a few early reviews came in. They were very positive. The reviewers didn’t know me, nor did they have any incentive to write nice things about the book. Once I read a couple, I realized how hard I had been on myself, and, in turn, the book. Maybe I was simply wrong. Or I had unreasonable expectations. Not a rare trait. Just ask my family. I am grateful that others have been able to appreciate what I couldn’t. Though I know it’s probable that there will be mixed reviews, depending on the reader, it’s nice to know it will find its audience, and that is just fine.
Here are a few quotes from the reviews:
From Kirkus:
“Zinn writes in an unadorned style that feels both accessible and intimate. She discusses her subjects with gentle authority while making no claims to having all the answers.”
And:
“A pandemic remembrance that succeeds as both memoir and self-help guide.”
From the Book Commentary:
“In her poignant collection of reflections and self-care strategies, In the Time of Coronavirus, Janet Zinn examines the tumultuous landscape of the pandemic with grace and wisdom.”
And:
“This book might be about coping with the COVID-19 pandemic, but its wisdom is timeless, a message to accompany and inspire readers through any difficult moment.”
From The Feathered Quill:
“With its intimacy centering on Zinn’s experiences and its universality deftly depicted to reach the hearts and minds of others, her book is sure to fulfill the purpose she envisioned.”
And:
“ Janet Zinn’s self-help manual, In the Time of Coronavirus, offers an empathic, week-by-week view of the effects of coronavirus restrictions that will be read and appreciated by anyone seeking to solve a large variety of life’s problems.”
Though I was harsh with no clear perspective, I am open to the fact that my opinion in that dark place was purely subjective. I’m hopeful that other readers will find In the Time of Coronavirus useful and supportive when life’s difficulties emerge. In the end, my first book served its author when I was being too tough on myself.
Self-Care Tips:
Do what you can to reparent yourself. If your mother or caregiver was kind and accepting, you can replicate that care towards yourself. If your primary caregiver or parent was not someone who matched your needs, then find a way to be compassionate towards yourself for what you didn’t receive but can now give to yourself.
Another way to reparent yourself is to notice when you are being critical of yourself and ask “what can I do to be more accepting of what I’m going through?” And, “can I give myself something that might support me through this?”
Gift yourself a future copy of In the Time of Coronavirus. You can go to https://janetzinn.com or go to Amazon, Barnes and Noble, request it from your local library, or from an independent bookstore or book seller.
janetzinn 