I spent five days this week recording short videos for my new book, In the Time of Coronavirus, Reflecting on the Past to Embrace a Joyful Future. I am uncomfortable promoting the book. I am not made for publicity and sales. They are not my strengths. But I am willing to move out of my comfort zone (though is life ever really comfortable?) and attempt to promote my book by sharing self-care tips from the paperback.
The lighting has been all wrong. I jerry-rigged a desk and a stack of books to record the videos. And, I have no idea how to edit , so you can see m turning the record button on and off. I see wonderful, professionally styled videos on TikTok. But every time I go to the app, I am flummoxed and can’t figure out some of the simplest issues.
I imagine I’ll learn through trial and error. Or I can hope to befriend a much younger person who can guide me past my antiquated ways. In the meantime, I will hobble along posting substandard clips. Hopefully the featured self-care tips will be value-added on these amateur endeavors. In the meantime, I’m living and learning.
Self-Care Tips:
Keep the self-care tips coming, buy In the Time of Coronavirus. Perhaps this tip is self-care for me. But it is my hope, you will benefit from the tips in the book.
Keep a pad & oen along with a small flashlight by your bed. If you have a hard time getting to sleep, or you wake up with thoughts swirling, writing worries or thoughts down long-hand without the assistance of a lit device, will help you to get the sleep you need.
When making a written request, reread what you’ve written to make sure the request is clear thus enhancing your chances of getting what you want.
This Tuesday I become a published author with In the Time of Coronavirus, Reflecting on the Past to Embrace a Joyful Future. To that end I am doing everything I know to do to promote this book, working to get it into stores, sites and libraries and into readers’ hands. It is a daunting task. I am overwhelmed, yet very excited.
I am grateful to all of you who pre-ordered the book. Not only does your support mean the world to me, but it also provides a small foothold into the publishing world. Any reviews to Goodreads, Amazon, Barnes and Noble or other review outlets would be greatly appreciated. I am not comfortable asking for your support, and yet, I am willing to step out of my comfort zone to say please and thank you.
I am hopeful that the book will provide some support for its readers. Given today and days ahead with much to accomplish, I am writing a short blog. Wishing you a lovely weekend, and again, thank you.
Self-Care Tips:
Take one small step towards a goal you desire. We often think we have to accomplish so much, but each small step moves us closer to our goals. Put one dollar away towards a major purchase. Clean one small surface even if you have an entire home to clean, etc.
Contact someone from your past to let them know what a difference they made in your life. We often don’t let people know and then regret not saying something when it’s too late.
Make a mental note or write it down if you like of at least one thing off the top of your head for which you’re grateful. As for me, I am so grateful you’re reading this.
In thinking about what to write this week I wondered if I should write about Mother’s Day. But I decided that rather than writing more on the day that brings up so much for so many, I’ll limit my input by briefly folding it into the self-care tips, Then there have been amazing pictures online of the rare Aurelia Borealis. Though I didn’t witness it myself, those who captured the colorful wonder have posted images that defy words. What I’ve settled on is to say that when I reread my book a couple of months ago, In the Time of Coronavirus, for the last look before submitting it for publication, I became very uset. I thought, “Who do I think I am?’ and “what could I have been thinking?” and, “This is bad. I’m so embarrassed!” I have a long history of berating myself. At that moment I questioned my writing, and my hubris for thinking I could put a book out into the world.
I very down on myself. But I had gotten so far and I decided to give the final go-ahead, knowing I’d have to with all my feelings. It had been a dream of mine to be an author, and it was okay if this was my first, if flawed, book. I had learned a lot and I still have a lot to learn, so this would be a dream come true, even if there were things that upset me.
Once it was in pre-publication, the publishing date is June 4th, a few early reviews came in. They were very positive. The reviewers didn’t know me, nor did they have any incentive to write nice things about the book. Once I read a couple, I realized how hard I had been on myself, and, in turn, the book. Maybe I was simply wrong. Or I had unreasonable expectations. Not a rare trait. Just ask my family. I am grateful that others have been able to appreciate what I couldn’t. Though I know it’s probable that there will be mixed reviews, depending on the reader, it’s nice to know it will find its audience, and that is just fine.
Here are a few quotes from the reviews:
From Kirkus:
“Zinn writes in an unadorned style that feels both accessible and intimate. She discusses her subjects with gentle authority while making no claims to having all the answers.”
And:
“A pandemic remembrance that succeeds as both memoir and self-help guide.”
From the Book Commentary:
“In her poignant collection of reflections and self-care strategies, In the Time of Coronavirus, Janet Zinn examines the tumultuous landscape of the pandemic with grace and wisdom.”
And:
“This book might be about coping with the COVID-19 pandemic, but its wisdom is timeless, a message to accompany and inspire readers through any difficult moment.”
From The Feathered Quill:
“With its intimacy centering on Zinn’s experiences and its universality deftly depicted to reach the hearts and minds of others, her book is sure to fulfill the purpose she envisioned.”
And:
“ Janet Zinn’s self-help manual, In the Time of Coronavirus, offers an empathic, week-by-week view of the effects of coronavirus restrictions that will be read and appreciated by anyone seeking to solve a large variety of life’s problems.”
Though I was harsh with no clear perspective, I am open to the fact that my opinion in that dark place was purely subjective. I’m hopeful that other readers will find In the Time of Coronavirus useful and supportive when life’s difficulties emerge. In the end, my first book served its author when I was being too tough on myself.
Self-Care Tips:
Do what you can to reparent yourself. If your mother or caregiver was kind and accepting, you can replicate that care towards yourself. If your primary caregiver or parent was not someone who matched your needs, then find a way to be compassionate towards yourself for what you didn’t receive but can now give to yourself.
Another way to reparent yourself is to notice when you are being critical of yourself and ask “what can I do to be more accepting of what I’m going through?” And, “can I give myself something that might support me through this?”
Gift yourself a future copy of In the Time of Coronavirus. You can go to https://janetzinn.com or go to Amazon, Barnes and Noble, request it from your local library, or from an independent bookstore or book seller.
We can be shiny and perfect and admired, or we can be real and honest and vulnerable and loved. But we actually do have to choose. Glennon Doyle Melton
I listen to Glennon’s podcast, “We Can Do Hard Things.” On one of her podcasts she said that she used to worry that no one was listening to her. Her audiences were small, her readership small. But then she started seeing and hearing the few who were listening. She realized that each person was important, not the number itself. It was so meaningful to hear that. I have taken it to heart.
A couple of years ago I had an idea for a book on courage. I worked on it assiduously, but it needed more rewrites. I took a break. The first thing I was told while writing the first draft was to build a platform. I was told if publishing companies would take me on as an unknown author they needed a large following from me. I tried to expand my readership as a blogger. I put out a few failed TikTok videos. I posted to most social media platforms. I was pushing too hard and not sufficiently expanding at my slow pace.
I’m no salesperson. Being an “influencer” requires a certain amount of salesmanship. It’s a specific skill set that I lack. In high school I tried sales, but it cost me more in gas than I ever made in earnings. Now, even though I’m supposed to be building a platform, I, instead, am finding out more about my readers. You matter. I am so grateful for your likes, your comments, your writings, posts and shares. I truly believe individuality outweighs crowds.
I am no longer upset, as I was when I was younger, when a party was small. I sadly focused on those who didn’t come rather than the caring souls who attended. That was a function of insecurity. It took a long time for me to appreciate those who show up. I can deal with small numbers of likes. I can look at the list and appreciate each person who has generously given of his/her/their time and consideration. My self-worth, our self-worth, is not how many people we connect with, but the quality of any and all connections.
I don’t know how many books of my pandemic era blog posts I’ll sell. I went with a hybrid press, Atmosphere Press, so I didn’t have to fully rely on my lack of sales acumen. They’d like me to sell a lot books, but it’s not a dealbreaker. Instead, I can continue to value the individual over the many.
I thank you for reading this, for being a part of my life, albeit, online, yet meaningful, nonetheless. You have truly helped.
Self-Care Tips:
* When you find that things didn’t turn out the way you expected, see if you can find the small gem in the new circumstances. It may not compensate for what you had hoped for, but it can give you something you didn’t know you needed.
* Think small. We often get overtaken by big numbers, big experiences. When we can be in the moment, we feel alive in a very special way.
* We live in a time of feeling overwhelmed. We can mitigate that by acknowledging what we have accomplished rather than focusing on what we think we have to get done.
As a psychotherapist I’ve noticed that so many people in and out of my office will say, “I know this is boring, but…” Traditionally therapists don’t respond, we only listen. I’m more interactive, so I respond to the statement that they think what they have to say is boring. I’m curious. I don’t find what they tell me boring. But I want to know how they see it themselves. The subject matter is secondary to their perceptions and experiences of living their lives. I am fascinated by that. Luckily my profession affords me to privilege of hearing their insights and opinions regarding their lives.
I can relate to the idea that what I have to say is boring. In fact, week after week in writing this blog I tend to stress over what I’m writing, then subsequently judging myself and my writing. I still write the piece figuring it may be boring for some and that’s the fate of putting something out there. It is perhaps even more true now that I am getting ready to publish my first book, In the Time of Coronavirus, Looking at the Past for a Joyous Future. It is a compilation of blog posts from the pandemic.
I’ve always wanted to write a book. And when a book I was working on about courage hit a wall, I decided to pivot and publish this book at the prodding of others. I will return to the courage book, as finishing it will be an act of courage in its own right.
In the meantime, I’m working on all the backroom details that have to get done to sell a book. I don’t like it. And, yes, I find it either stressful or boring, but necessary, nonetheless. So, I take walks, go to the theater, work, and enjoy small moments of grace to insert joy throughout the process. And when I’m stressed, I find solace in all that is boring. Boring is a gift. I used to think all things boring was a problem when I was younger. No more. In both my personal and professional lives, boring is anything but.
Self-Care Tips:
Enjoy a gratitude practice for anything you perceive as boring. Be grateful that life is providing a break from the hard stuff.
If you find something boring, tighten your focus and see if you can identify the small changes that take place. When driving it could be the music you’re listening to or the changes in the clouds. Focus on anything that shifts boredom to interest.
Rather than simply listening to, reading or watching those who have the same opinions and world views, listen, watch or observe with curiosity something or someone who sees things differently. Make sure to see if you can learn something rather than dismissing it right away.
This week I’m sharing some past sunsets. Seeing sunrises and sunsets makes me smile. Sunsets remind me that nothing is permanent. And sunrises are an apt metaphor that we always have a chance at a new beginning. Both sentiments give me some peace. And we could all use peace.
Too often when thinking of global peace we think it’s up to world leaders. Or we can feel the futility of hoping for peace. It’s easy to feel powerless when there are wars in too many regions of the world. When anger and hate fill our media outlets peace can seem allusive. As a child, as with many of us, we learned the lyrics “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.” I sung that song by rote. I didn’t really think of what I was saying. I found the tune bland. I was not inspired. And, yet, now when I hear talk of peace, and other songs referencing peace, I’m uplifted.
Perhaps we can start with a smile. It’s a small act, but it’s something we can offer. There is a happy meditation that suggests we smile when we breath. It changes our perspective and allows us to feel a bit lighter in the process. And when we share a smile it brightens up someone else’s day. In the past I might smile from time to time, feeling good when people smiled back. Admittedly I was resentful, as if I wasted a smile, when a blank stare or an unsmiling face looked back at me. But I can’t really know if it was a wasted smile. They may have had a delayed reaction. In that case, I wouldn’t have been privy to a positive impact. These days, I do my best to simply smile. I don’t always get a smile in return, but when I do, I am doubly happy.
I suggest we all start smiling. It may be an act of disruption since there has been a trend towards frustration, ire, and apathy. But we can pierce through the murkier emotions and land on a piece of peace.
This is not to say we should deny our feelings and err on the side of looking on the bright side. That does nothing but perpetuate the murkiness. Instead, we can acknowledge how hard it’s been and still share a smile with ourselves and others. News cycles always use fear and anger as their hook. Let’s lead with a smile, letting kindness be the hook. Let’s nourish our joy rather than feeding our fears. It’s a small step that can lead to collective inner peace.
Self-Care Tips:
Take three deep breaths smiling while breathing. See if it changes how you feel.
Challenge yourself to smile at others and see how it feels. What comes up for you when they smile back? And what happens when they don’t respond positively? Take note of your feelings. Then challenge yourself again to share a smile.
What makes you smile? Remember to watch, read, listen to, or enjoy whatever makes you smile.
It was a muggy day in the city. I went to bed late and gave myself the luxury of resting in bed yesterday morning. There was a lot to do, but my body craved relaxation, and rather than rush to place my feet on the floor, I lingered under the sheets, enjoying the ease of a restful morning.
I’m usually a doer. At some point in my development I got the message that being lazy was not a good thing. I made a point of being busy. Rather than being busy when necessary and resting when needed, I seemed intent on proving I wasn’t lazy. However, I had ongoing jealousy for those who enjoyed life doing less. That seemed impossible to me. Thankfully, post-Covid, I have come to see the value in proper rest.
Though I still have a long way to go to unwind the belief that one must be busy, I am glad that yesterday morning I could enjoy a restful dawning of the day. It allowed me to find the energy early in the afternoon to go on a short jog. It’s been a year since I’ve been able to run due to a sprained ankle. Even though I knew that long distance running was part of my past, I’m aware that I really enjoy running as an ongoing activity. So, I put on my ankle brace along with two knee braces, and I set out to run for a mile on East End Avenue asphalt.
Asphalt is easier on the joints and fairly level, which makes for a safer run. It felt so nice to run. Albeit I’m slower with less energy than last year. But it was the act of running that felt freeing. I look forward to running again today. Luckily, I had a great night’s sleep, so I’m well rested for today’s slow jog. And, after that? Maybe a nap.
Self-Care Tips:
What activity or experience is pure joy, so much so that you lose track of time? How do you feel thinking about it? When you have a chance, try diving into the activity. If there isn’t an opportunity, think about it for a moment and take note of how you feel while basking in that memory.
Reflect on your week and make a note of anything that went better than expected? Are you able to have gratitude for the better-than-anticipated experience? If so, take a moment to be with that gratitude.
Check in with your body. Do you have an abundance of energy? If so, do something physical to optimize that energy burst. If not, take a moment (or more, if possible) to relax, letting your body know you’re listening.
It was a mere coincidence that we happen to be in Split, Croatia the same day the New York Times travel section featured 36 hours in Split. It’s about the same amount of time we’ll be in Split, which is a beautiful port city on the coast of the Adriatic Sea.
I would hear what a stunning country Croatia was. Anyone I knew who traveled there would expound in its beauty and charm. But having so many places we wanted to travel it never made it to the top of our list. Then I had read that Intrepid Travel, a small group tour company, had been named the number one tour guide by a few outlets like Afar, Travel Awards, and more. It was then I looked at their itineraries, and the Croatian trip of the Dalmatian Coast fit the bill for time, cost, and interest.
So here we are with a view of the Adriatic Sea, enjoying the ruins of the last Roman Emperor’s castle from the 4th century, Diocletian. Yeah, I had never heard of him either. That’s what’s so great about travel, we learn so much while enjoying another culture.
What did surprise us is how delicious the food is. We think of Italy when we think of pizza, and yet, in Split pizza is everywhere. Almost like New York City, except it’s a walled town with no high buildings. So not like New York at all. And the fresh seafood is exquisite.
It does feel as if we’ve been transported to another time. Before reaching the city center there is a centuries old farmer’s market where farmers come in the morning to sell their wares, from handmade cheeses to deep red cherries. They tend their farms in the afternoons, only to return the following morning. From there we enter the city gates. I can walk inside the gothic city walls for hours, getting lost through the labyrinth of narrow alleyways. When I find my way outside the city walls, the fresh sea air is invigorating.
And, when I tire of continuing my walk the length of the marina, I can sit watching the many tourists with a lovely cup of cappuccino. Split has proven to be a wonderful start to a memorable Balkan vacation.
Self-Care Tips:
Look up a Croatian recipe. It will be something new that will only enhance your culinary repertoire.
People watch. It used to be a wonderful past time before smart phones. But it’s a lost art worth revisiting.
Get a short history lesson by going to Tic Tok or YouTube. Pick a subject or location and learn a new fact or two from the comfort of your home.
I noticed that by the end of my work week I was short on compassion. My go to was frustration, impatience, or barely disguised anger. It was simple things. I was missing paperwork that had been promised me. A pair of reading glasses broke. Or it was a string of simple annoyances.
I thoughtfully ordered a huge container of white vinegar and a large box of kosher salt to minimize the growth of bamboo, an invasive species, from our garden. I was already annoyed that our neighbor’s bamboo had crept into our plot of land. And I was aggravated that the two separate (un)handy people did a poor job of weeding out the bamboo. But now the very heavy package was not delivered to my office but was left at the post office for me to pick up. I was complaining about this to a friend while walking, and she listened without judgement, making me smile even while I was grumpy.
I went to retrieve the box, first having to stop by my office to get a cart to roll there. I don’t love the look of me dragging the blue covered shopping cart on city streets, but I am relieved to be old enough not to care as much about what I may look like. I got to the post office, and only had to wait briefly for the postal rep. I presented my printed paperwork since there was no notice left on my door, only an email telling me my package was not delivered.
She gave me a knowing smile and told me that my package was not there. It was at another post office. I showed her the email stating that it was delivered to her location. Her next smile was kinder, and in a gentle voice, as she clearly saw that I needed cautious handling, she explained that this was a regular occurrence, and she was sorry. My frustration melted slightly by her kind demeanor, and I went on my way, rolling the cart on the bumpy New York sidewalks until I reached the next post office.
The lines were long. I wanted to groan audibly, but I stopped myself. I decided to stay, cleaning up email inbox while I waited impatiently. When I finally got to the counter I was again greeted by a friendly representative. She was happy because it was her last day. She recognized my name because my large and heavy box was damaged. I girded myself for the worst. But when I got the box, yes it was crushed, but the cargo was not damaged, and I could take it back to my garden to rid myself of the pesky bamboo.
Since I had the cart, and surprisingly there was still room in it, I stopped by the grocery store to replace a few items. And what started out as an inconvenient and annoying chore turned into an appreciation for how easily kindness and happiness shared can shift my mood. My irritability is a good indication that I’m ready for a vacation, which I will be taking this week. Yet, I am pleased that I am not so attached to my anger and frustration that the kindness of a friend or a stranger can’t turn around my mood.
When I’m tired or burnt out it’s so easy to get irritated. Just as negativity is contagious, so is thoughtfulness and joy. I will do my best when feeling less depleted to be considerate of others. Maybe, they too, don’t have to let a bad mood become a bad day.
Self-Care Tools:
If you’re tired or upset or both seek out kindness. It could be a worker, a friend, or a stranger who can uplift you with a kind word, a smile, or light humor.
If you’re in a good mood, share it. Be generous, it’s free to share happiness. And it multiplies your joy.
Replenish daily items that make life a little easier, whether it’s a mini hand sanitizer, a pen & pad, emery boards, wipes or tissues. Having these supplies in your bag or close by make life a touch easier.
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