This weekend I walked in the steaming heat enjoying Summer Streets while traversing Park Avenue without cars. I will miss the next two Saturdays, so it was a pleasant reprieve to have more than enough room while walking among pedestrians, runners, and cyclists. I am going away. Initially I packed for a hot summer, but according to the lower temperatures in Dublin I was ill prepared. Following my lovely and tiring walk, I unpacked and repacked for a ten-day trip to Ireland. Instead of tank tops and sandals I’m bringing sweaters and socks.
I am very excited. Reading Edna O’Brian and Roddy Doyle, starting in high school, have instilled in me a love of Ireland, though I’ve never step foot on the Island. It was my college friend, Shawn Wilson’s idea. We had been trying to get together for years. We both have busy professional lives with very different schedules. Shawn threw out the idea and the trip was planned within a day. Not only did we agree on the one week that was good for both of us, but she found an amazing local tour that appealed to both of us. Since I am usually the planner in my family, it was an extra luxury to have my friend take care of the details.
We’ll meet up in Dublin and go from there, probably taking too many pictures. In the meantime, I have a few off-the-beaten-path pictures of New York City, pre-vacation.
Self-Care Tips:
Hugs. If you know a good hugger exchange a great hug. If you are on your own, wrap your arms around yourself for a self-loving embrace.
Seek out something unusual for you. Read an article from another point of view. Look up an unfamiliar country and find out about its culture, foods, landscape and customs.
Enjoy in-season fruits and vegetables. The peaches are divine. The strawberries and blueberries are at their peak. And summer squash is sweet and versatile.
It’s sweltering outside. The humidity and the temperature are high. Though I have a good number of chores to get done, I’m choosing to spend this time writing this blog in the air conditioning. I haven’t planned what I’ll write, so as unoriginal as it is, I’ve started by mentioning the weather. Inspiration is not forthcoming. I just walked away to go into the kitchen. I cubed and toasted bread to make breadcrumbs to go with the zucchini I purchased today at the farmer’s mlaarket. In fact, the bread came from there last week. I ‘m making zucchini fritters. The eggs that go in the mix come from another stall at the farmer’s market. I didn’t see the right onions, so I’ll have to go out for them. I so enjoy the sweet and savory combination of the fritters.
Rather than a traditional blog post, I will share how to make Zucchini Fritters or Zucchini Cakes. I don’t have a recipe so these are approximations.
I medium to large zucchini
1 onion
Bread crumbs from 3 slices of bread (or about a cup or so)
2 eggs
Salt
Pepper
Vegetable oil
Grate the zucchini. I use a food processor, but you can do it with a hand grater if you don’t mind spending more time. Chop the onion, unless you purchased it chopped already. Add salt, pepper and any other spices you like. Beat the eggs then mix the zucchini, eggs, breadcrumbs and spices. When the oil is heated in the pan spoon one at a time a tablespoon of the mixture. Allow it to sizzle until it’s brown on the bottom, then flip with a spatula. When they are brown on the reverse side, use the spatula to place them on a plate with paper towel to absorb the extra oil.
You can also spray a baking pan and bake them in the oven using less fat and oil. They aren’t as crispy, but the flavor is still there.
You can eat them when cooked, or you can store them in the refrigerator. I like them with tzatziki.
Self-Care Tips:
Enjoy fresh zucchini or other vegetables and fruits in season, no matter if you eat them raw or cooked.
If you like to cook or bake, try your own interpretation of a recipe. It’s delicious when you accommodate your own tastes.
If you are uninspired take a detour and go in another direction
I was surprised today when I dropped my iPhone and the case cracked that it didn’t create a tailspin in which I cracked a bit, too. Instead, I was thankful that I gave myself a day with a flexible schedule allowing me to take Lucy and me to the Apple store to have my phone repaired. I even sat patiently waiting for my turn as Lucy demanded treats since it wasn’t her idea to leave our neighborhood. Luckily I unknowingly stocked enough treats for the day.
I can get a bit unhinged when things don’t go my way. When I plan for an easy day it usually does not include hours in pursuit of a phone repair. Somehow I wasn’t miffed. I did what I needed to do. Though they were unable to fix my phone today, they will have the part next week. And, Larry, who works at Apple, can take my phone in, leaving me phoneless for a day next weekend. But it’s not a day with a phone session, so I think I’ll be okay.
I am grateful for whatever was in play that allowed for a calm day despite the change in plans. I espouse going with the flow, but I am not always the poster girl for that sentiment. Somehow today was different. Maybe it had to do that I wasn’t under a tight schedule. Often self-enforces I try to get a lot done in any given day. Maybe today will help me to take it easy more. I have to say it certainly is more pleasant than adding pressure to accomplish more and more. In having less to do, I was able to take care of what was most important. Lucy got a long walk in, and I got to make sure my phone will be fixed.
All in all a good day, cracked phone included.
Self-Care Tips:
Try to lighten up your schedule to make room for the unexpected
Make a note when you have a different reaction to an unwanted situation. If you are more upset, check in with yourself to see if it’s added to existing stressors. And if it’s less than maddening, appreciate the moment and enjoy the emotional freedom when it presents itself.
Rather than judging yourself when you judge another, see if you can detach from the thought allowing that it’s a thought not an indictment of your character. When we judge ourselves for judging others we only add to our judgements. When we release the thought, we lessen what we deem unbecoming. Thus we are kinder to ourselves leading the way to have more compassion for others.
I spent five days this week recording short videos for my new book, In the Time of Coronavirus, Reflecting on the Past to Embrace a Joyful Future. I am uncomfortable promoting the book. I am not made for publicity and sales. They are not my strengths. But I am willing to move out of my comfort zone (though is life ever really comfortable?) and attempt to promote my book by sharing self-care tips from the paperback.
The lighting has been all wrong. I jerry-rigged a desk and a stack of books to record the videos. And, I have no idea how to edit , so you can see m turning the record button on and off. I see wonderful, professionally styled videos on TikTok. But every time I go to the app, I am flummoxed and can’t figure out some of the simplest issues.
I imagine I’ll learn through trial and error. Or I can hope to befriend a much younger person who can guide me past my antiquated ways. In the meantime, I will hobble along posting substandard clips. Hopefully the featured self-care tips will be value-added on these amateur endeavors. In the meantime, I’m living and learning.
Self-Care Tips:
Keep the self-care tips coming, buy In the Time of Coronavirus. Perhaps this tip is self-care for me. But it is my hope, you will benefit from the tips in the book.
Keep a pad & oen along with a small flashlight by your bed. If you have a hard time getting to sleep, or you wake up with thoughts swirling, writing worries or thoughts down long-hand without the assistance of a lit device, will help you to get the sleep you need.
When making a written request, reread what you’ve written to make sure the request is clear thus enhancing your chances of getting what you want.
This Tuesday I become a published author with In the Time of Coronavirus, Reflecting on the Past to Embrace a Joyful Future. To that end I am doing everything I know to do to promote this book, working to get it into stores, sites and libraries and into readers’ hands. It is a daunting task. I am overwhelmed, yet very excited.
I am grateful to all of you who pre-ordered the book. Not only does your support mean the world to me, but it also provides a small foothold into the publishing world. Any reviews to Goodreads, Amazon, Barnes and Noble or other review outlets would be greatly appreciated. I am not comfortable asking for your support, and yet, I am willing to step out of my comfort zone to say please and thank you.
I am hopeful that the book will provide some support for its readers. Given today and days ahead with much to accomplish, I am writing a short blog. Wishing you a lovely weekend, and again, thank you.
Self-Care Tips:
Take one small step towards a goal you desire. We often think we have to accomplish so much, but each small step moves us closer to our goals. Put one dollar away towards a major purchase. Clean one small surface even if you have an entire home to clean, etc.
Contact someone from your past to let them know what a difference they made in your life. We often don’t let people know and then regret not saying something when it’s too late.
Make a mental note or write it down if you like of at least one thing off the top of your head for which you’re grateful. As for me, I am so grateful you’re reading this.
In thinking about what to write this week I wondered if I should write about Mother’s Day. But I decided that rather than writing more on the day that brings up so much for so many, I’ll limit my input by briefly folding it into the self-care tips, Then there have been amazing pictures online of the rare Aurelia Borealis. Though I didn’t witness it myself, those who captured the colorful wonder have posted images that defy words. What I’ve settled on is to say that when I reread my book a couple of months ago, In the Time of Coronavirus, for the last look before submitting it for publication, I became very uset. I thought, “Who do I think I am?’ and “what could I have been thinking?” and, “This is bad. I’m so embarrassed!” I have a long history of berating myself. At that moment I questioned my writing, and my hubris for thinking I could put a book out into the world.
I very down on myself. But I had gotten so far and I decided to give the final go-ahead, knowing I’d have to with all my feelings. It had been a dream of mine to be an author, and it was okay if this was my first, if flawed, book. I had learned a lot and I still have a lot to learn, so this would be a dream come true, even if there were things that upset me.
Once it was in pre-publication, the publishing date is June 4th, a few early reviews came in. They were very positive. The reviewers didn’t know me, nor did they have any incentive to write nice things about the book. Once I read a couple, I realized how hard I had been on myself, and, in turn, the book. Maybe I was simply wrong. Or I had unreasonable expectations. Not a rare trait. Just ask my family. I am grateful that others have been able to appreciate what I couldn’t. Though I know it’s probable that there will be mixed reviews, depending on the reader, it’s nice to know it will find its audience, and that is just fine.
Here are a few quotes from the reviews:
From Kirkus:
“Zinn writes in an unadorned style that feels both accessible and intimate. She discusses her subjects with gentle authority while making no claims to having all the answers.”
And:
“A pandemic remembrance that succeeds as both memoir and self-help guide.”
From the Book Commentary:
“In her poignant collection of reflections and self-care strategies, In the Time of Coronavirus, Janet Zinn examines the tumultuous landscape of the pandemic with grace and wisdom.”
And:
“This book might be about coping with the COVID-19 pandemic, but its wisdom is timeless, a message to accompany and inspire readers through any difficult moment.”
From The Feathered Quill:
“With its intimacy centering on Zinn’s experiences and its universality deftly depicted to reach the hearts and minds of others, her book is sure to fulfill the purpose she envisioned.”
And:
“ Janet Zinn’s self-help manual, In the Time of Coronavirus, offers an empathic, week-by-week view of the effects of coronavirus restrictions that will be read and appreciated by anyone seeking to solve a large variety of life’s problems.”
Though I was harsh with no clear perspective, I am open to the fact that my opinion in that dark place was purely subjective. I’m hopeful that other readers will find In the Time of Coronavirus useful and supportive when life’s difficulties emerge. In the end, my first book served its author when I was being too tough on myself.
Self-Care Tips:
Do what you can to reparent yourself. If your mother or caregiver was kind and accepting, you can replicate that care towards yourself. If your primary caregiver or parent was not someone who matched your needs, then find a way to be compassionate towards yourself for what you didn’t receive but can now give to yourself.
Another way to reparent yourself is to notice when you are being critical of yourself and ask “what can I do to be more accepting of what I’m going through?” And, “can I give myself something that might support me through this?”
Gift yourself a future copy of In the Time of Coronavirus. You can go to https://janetzinn.com or go to Amazon, Barnes and Noble, request it from your local library, or from an independent bookstore or book seller.
When I was younger and I upset someone, I would replay the incident over and over again. I found it intolerable that someone would be upset or angry with me. It felt devastating. I would apologize again and again, becoming a nuisance. Sometimes people would be more upset with my groveling than they were with the original upset. I couldn’t get it out of my mind. It felt like anything I did that hurt others was unforgivable. There was no fun to be had.
As a new age devotee in my late teens to early thirties I had embraced the idea of letting things go. But I didn’t know how to do that. I couldn’t let discriminatory situations go. I was beyond upset when I was judged unfairly. And, as explained, I couldn’t let things go when someone was upset with me.
In this time of polarization, and post-pandemic frustrations, we are seeing more and more people hold onto ideology that is not being played out on the world stage. It’s easy to look at the dismay and think that they should just let go of their fury. But that is easier said than done.
How many times have we been told, “Just let it go?” I think that usually tells us more about the person who is advocating for letting it go. I have found that letting go is a process. It is not something you can simply do at a moment’s notice. Though that seems to be the desire of others. We have not expanded our tolerance for differences, so it can play out that others tell us to let go so they can feel more comfortable.
Let us have patience with ourselves and others. Let’s work on soothing ourselves when we’re uncomfortable. That can be essential in the letting go process. When we aren’t fighting how we feel or how others feel, there is more space to let go. Or, even better, there’s more acceptance of what is. These are hard times. Let’s see what we can gain from the discomfort rather than continually trying to shut ourselves and others down.
Though I have no definitive answers, I do believe that self-compassion, compassion for others, as well as patience and kindness can be revolutionary acts in times of intolerance.
Self-Care Tips:
When you are working on letting something go, ask yourself, “What am I experiencing?” Then see if you can care for yourself as you go through it.
When you are upset with someone else’s stance, ask yourself, “What am I feeling in response to their stance?” Then see what you need to care for yourself while not disparaging them.
Do one small thing you’ve been putting off. Today I mended a torn glove. It’s not quite as good as new, but it’s done, and I can let it go.
It was a quiet day. Not the reading a book while sipping tea on a rainy-day type of quiet. It was quiet because I wasn’t plugged into a device. The TV was not on. The quiet came from not connecting my phone to my earbuds to listen to a book, a podcast or music. It’s even quiet now as I’m writing this. Lucy, who is asleep next to me isn’t even snoring. She must be enjoying the quiet, too.
It’s rare that I’m not listening or talking when walking. While walking in the rain there were few pedestrians, keeping the sound low even on city streets. Since my days are full of sounds, both cacophonous and melodic, I took note when I realized I had not continued listening to my book. Currently it’s the bold, beautiful Lessons for Survival, written and read by Emily Raboteau. She cares so deeply about our planet and our neglected populations, and her passion is contagious. Nor had I chosen between the two albums I’ve been enjoying, Natalie Douglas’s new “Back to the Garden,” as well as Rhiannon Giddens most recent “You’re the One.” I went to both concerts and listening to their most recent music with their gorgeous voices has been joyful.
Nonetheless, it was not the day for that. I think I needed the quiet. There was a peacefulness in the quiet. A rare experience of peace with so much going on in the world that is anything but peaceful. In the city, as vibrant as it is, would rarely be describe as peaceful or quiet. I think that is what made it so special. Sometimes an unplanned divergence from our routines can be a very special gift.
Self-Care Tips:
Switch up your routine. You may find reading or viewing something different teaches you something you didn’t know about yourself or others.
If you prefer the quiet, listen to music to open up new neuropathways. If you are usually listening to something or have the TV on in the background, turn them off to experience something different. Notice what you feel in the quiet.
Get to know the music of Rhiannon Giddens. It’s so varied. Or listen to the award-winning Natalie Douglas. Her voice is golden. Both have a range of styles.
“Salad can get a bad rap. People think of bland and watery iceberg lettuce, but in fact, salads are an art form.” – Marcus Samuelsson
I made miso dressing this past week. It turned out well. I tweaked the recipe so that it had a slight sweetness to balance the umami tones. Before that it was buttermilk dressing. Growing up we had a fresh salad every night. And my mother was a stickler for homemade dressing. She favored vinaigrettes when I got older, but before that we enjoyed homemade Russian dressing, Thousand Island Dressing, Italian, and Roquefort. There was a distinct difference between her dressings and the bottled versions of Wishbone and Kraft.
The same was true of baked goods. Though my mother was a health advocate, adding up to ten vegetables in our salads, when guests were visiting or a birthday was upon us, she baked from scratch. I could tell immediately when a boxed mix was served because, once again, there was a noticeable discrepancy between completely homemade and Betty Crocker. Because our mother also taught us manners, though I was disappointed when bottled salad dressing or boxed cake was served, I simply say, “Thank you,” rather than explain the virtues of flavor from the real thing.
In short, my mother created a food snob. Now, making my own salad dressing, unless I’m simply having olive oil and vinegar, is a fact of life. I like having two on hand depending on my mood that day. And, though, like my mom, I throw in a lot of ingredients in my salad, I’ve tweaked my preferences, opting for cooked mushrooms over raw, and possibly finely-chopped, leftover roasted vegetables instead of all crunchy toppers. I Like my mother I also add fruit to my salads. Recently it’s been figs. Though in the winter, clementines are a favorite. I am so grateful to my mom that she taught me to enjoy the creative process of good salad making, and the pure enjoyment of a delicious salad dressed with homemade ingredients.
Self-Care Tips:
Get creative with your salads. In the winter see if you can add heartier ingredients like grains or winter squash. And, if you can, create a simple homemade dressing, giving yourself a special treat.
Try a balancing exercise. It’s great to practice balance. Even if you lift up a foot and stand on one leg, then the other, for a few seconds, it will help your brain as well as your balance.
Simply say thank you if someone shares something with you, even if you don’t particularly like it. It’s kinder than sharing your disapproval.
There’s nothing like a flower show in the middle of a cold winter to warm our souls. That was my thinking as I embarked on the member preview of the Orchid Show at the New York Botanical Garden in the Bronx. My plan was to get there early so I could get in and out and home for work. I walked in the chilly weather to the subway where I got on the number 5 subway to Bedford Avenue. However, it was the number 4 train that I needed, so I had to reroute, getting off at the Grand Concourse and then settling in for a 45-minute ride to the Garden via the Bx 19 bus. This was an hour detour in total, getting me to the Garden with the throngs of people who also wanted to enjoy the tropical flowers.
I made the decision to return via Metro North getting off at 42nd Street, but first I had to winnow my way through unwieldy Instagram photographers and flower gawkers. Even when I politely said excuse me, as I wanted to get away from the heavily-clothed crowd and make my train back to the city, I was greeted by annoying responses. They were irritated that I’d want to pass them, and had something to say to me.
There were a few narrow openings, and I made my way past the hot house , thus able to escape in time for my train back to the city. As gorgeous as the flowers are, I will return on an early weekday when there is less of a rush, and I can quietly enjoy the annual oasis.
There was a time I would have been so hard on myself for getting on the wrong train, dealing with the crowds, and generally making mistakes. I would have been judgmental of the cantankerous flower gawkers. I still have my moments, but I was not hard on myself. Nor was I angry with the unwanted commentary. I simply learned for the next time. And I enjoyed my bus ride, getting to see parts of the city I don’t normally see. Age, mediation, and therapy have all been helpful in being kinder to myself and more accepting of others. Though I spent less time with the flowers than I had planned, I received other unexpected gifts.
Self-Care Tips:
Bring a flower home or go out to see flowers where you can. Photos can also do the trick. As we get through the rest of this winter, flowers do brighten the darker days. Trader Joes has terrific prices on flowers. You can gift or get amaryllis bulbs in wax online. Like at Tulip World.
Do a kindness mediation. Sharon Salzberg has wonderful Loving Kindness mediations. 10% Happier also has a terrific selection of kindness meditations. Or find one online.
Attend to your feet. Sometimes a nice body or foot cream massaged into your feet can be a simple, caring act.
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