I spent five days this week recording short videos for my new book, In the Time of Coronavirus, Reflecting on the Past to Embrace a Joyful Future. I am uncomfortable promoting the book. I am not made for publicity and sales. They are not my strengths. But I am willing to move out of my comfort zone (though is life ever really comfortable?) and attempt to promote my book by sharing self-care tips from the paperback.
The lighting has been all wrong. I jerry-rigged a desk and a stack of books to record the videos. And, I have no idea how to edit , so you can see m turning the record button on and off. I see wonderful, professionally styled videos on TikTok. But every time I go to the app, I am flummoxed and can’t figure out some of the simplest issues.
I imagine I’ll learn through trial and error. Or I can hope to befriend a much younger person who can guide me past my antiquated ways. In the meantime, I will hobble along posting substandard clips. Hopefully the featured self-care tips will be value-added on these amateur endeavors. In the meantime, I’m living and learning.
Self-Care Tips:
Keep the self-care tips coming, buy In the Time of Coronavirus. Perhaps this tip is self-care for me. But it is my hope, you will benefit from the tips in the book.
Keep a pad & oen along with a small flashlight by your bed. If you have a hard time getting to sleep, or you wake up with thoughts swirling, writing worries or thoughts down long-hand without the assistance of a lit device, will help you to get the sleep you need.
When making a written request, reread what you’ve written to make sure the request is clear thus enhancing your chances of getting what you want.
This Tuesday I become a published author with In the Time of Coronavirus, Reflecting on the Past to Embrace a Joyful Future. To that end I am doing everything I know to do to promote this book, working to get it into stores, sites and libraries and into readers’ hands. It is a daunting task. I am overwhelmed, yet very excited.
I am grateful to all of you who pre-ordered the book. Not only does your support mean the world to me, but it also provides a small foothold into the publishing world. Any reviews to Goodreads, Amazon, Barnes and Noble or other review outlets would be greatly appreciated. I am not comfortable asking for your support, and yet, I am willing to step out of my comfort zone to say please and thank you.
I am hopeful that the book will provide some support for its readers. Given today and days ahead with much to accomplish, I am writing a short blog. Wishing you a lovely weekend, and again, thank you.
Self-Care Tips:
Take one small step towards a goal you desire. We often think we have to accomplish so much, but each small step moves us closer to our goals. Put one dollar away towards a major purchase. Clean one small surface even if you have an entire home to clean, etc.
Contact someone from your past to let them know what a difference they made in your life. We often don’t let people know and then regret not saying something when it’s too late.
Make a mental note or write it down if you like of at least one thing off the top of your head for which you’re grateful. As for me, I am so grateful you’re reading this.
I was nervous. I had agreed to participate in a Zoom panel which included reading from my pre-published book, In the Time of Coronavirus. but it’s been a long time since I’ve spoken to a group. As I was practicing, reading the blog post a few times, I noticed my voice sounded like it was stuck in my throat. I did not think that was a good thing.
It’s allergy season. I hadn’t grown up with allergies. That role was my brother Joel’s realm. He was racked with sniffling and sneezing in the spring with hay fever, pollen allergies and more. As much as he loved little league, his nose itched on third base. I wondered if he could even see the ball given his watery eyes. He did well enough. But it was not until now, in my mid-sixties, that I can appreciate what he’s gone through his entire life.
Allergies are not pleasant. And even less so when I want to read with authority. But I needn’t have worried. When I looked at the attendees, I noticed so many kind and supportive faces and names, both those I knew, and those who came for the other authors. I settled in, allergies and all, and listened to the two other panelists, knowing it was better for me, and for them, that I stay focused with what they were reading rather than reside in my head worried about how I would do.
In fact, the show of support helped me to feel grateful, which in turn buoyed me to simply read and not watch my own performance. I’m not sure how I did, but the experience was extremely fulfilling. It’s so easy to be grateful when in the presence of caring individuals.
Self-Care Tips:
When you get your hands wet, rather than just washing them or drying them, feel the water, appreciate the wet sensation of touching water. Let the sensation of having water move through your hands capture a new perception of being in the moment.
Say Good night to yourself. It’s a simple acknowledgment that your day has come to an end and it’s time to put yourself to sleep.
Observe how you feel when in the presence of others. If you feel confident, energized or at ease, you know you’re in good company.
In thinking about what to write this week I wondered if I should write about Mother’s Day. But I decided that rather than writing more on the day that brings up so much for so many, I’ll limit my input by briefly folding it into the self-care tips, Then there have been amazing pictures online of the rare Aurelia Borealis. Though I didn’t witness it myself, those who captured the colorful wonder have posted images that defy words. What I’ve settled on is to say that when I reread my book a couple of months ago, In the Time of Coronavirus, for the last look before submitting it for publication, I became very uset. I thought, “Who do I think I am?’ and “what could I have been thinking?” and, “This is bad. I’m so embarrassed!” I have a long history of berating myself. At that moment I questioned my writing, and my hubris for thinking I could put a book out into the world.
I very down on myself. But I had gotten so far and I decided to give the final go-ahead, knowing I’d have to with all my feelings. It had been a dream of mine to be an author, and it was okay if this was my first, if flawed, book. I had learned a lot and I still have a lot to learn, so this would be a dream come true, even if there were things that upset me.
Once it was in pre-publication, the publishing date is June 4th, a few early reviews came in. They were very positive. The reviewers didn’t know me, nor did they have any incentive to write nice things about the book. Once I read a couple, I realized how hard I had been on myself, and, in turn, the book. Maybe I was simply wrong. Or I had unreasonable expectations. Not a rare trait. Just ask my family. I am grateful that others have been able to appreciate what I couldn’t. Though I know it’s probable that there will be mixed reviews, depending on the reader, it’s nice to know it will find its audience, and that is just fine.
Here are a few quotes from the reviews:
From Kirkus:
“Zinn writes in an unadorned style that feels both accessible and intimate. She discusses her subjects with gentle authority while making no claims to having all the answers.”
And:
“A pandemic remembrance that succeeds as both memoir and self-help guide.”
From the Book Commentary:
“In her poignant collection of reflections and self-care strategies, In the Time of Coronavirus, Janet Zinn examines the tumultuous landscape of the pandemic with grace and wisdom.”
And:
“This book might be about coping with the COVID-19 pandemic, but its wisdom is timeless, a message to accompany and inspire readers through any difficult moment.”
From The Feathered Quill:
“With its intimacy centering on Zinn’s experiences and its universality deftly depicted to reach the hearts and minds of others, her book is sure to fulfill the purpose she envisioned.”
And:
“ Janet Zinn’s self-help manual, In the Time of Coronavirus, offers an empathic, week-by-week view of the effects of coronavirus restrictions that will be read and appreciated by anyone seeking to solve a large variety of life’s problems.”
Though I was harsh with no clear perspective, I am open to the fact that my opinion in that dark place was purely subjective. I’m hopeful that other readers will find In the Time of Coronavirus useful and supportive when life’s difficulties emerge. In the end, my first book served its author when I was being too tough on myself.
Self-Care Tips:
Do what you can to reparent yourself. If your mother or caregiver was kind and accepting, you can replicate that care towards yourself. If your primary caregiver or parent was not someone who matched your needs, then find a way to be compassionate towards yourself for what you didn’t receive but can now give to yourself.
Another way to reparent yourself is to notice when you are being critical of yourself and ask “what can I do to be more accepting of what I’m going through?” And, “can I give myself something that might support me through this?”
Gift yourself a future copy of In the Time of Coronavirus. You can go to https://janetzinn.com or go to Amazon, Barnes and Noble, request it from your local library, or from an independent bookstore or book seller.
I enjoyed a long walk in Riverside Park this weekend. It’s been a few years, while in the darkest days of the pandemic, that I had visited the park by the Hudson River. Spring is gracing New York City with colorful blooms. On our sunnier days smiles are exchanged as strangers pass one another.
May has begun with a variety of weather fronts, one day I put away my winter wear only to take it off the top shelves the very next day. Though I am perplexed as to what to wear, I have no confusion when it comes to taking in the flowers and trees whenever I enter a park. I may be chilly, but I’m warmed by the bright colors on my walks.
I also find that after a day walking I sleep better. Always a gift for these tired bones.
Self-Care Tips:
For sleep, open your mouth wide and release your lower jaw to let go of any tension held in your jaw. Follow it up with a smile as you take a breath. Letting go on the stress will help to ease into sleep
Another sleep tip is to imagine your mattress, bed, or any sleeping surface is caressing you. Allow all your weight to be held by your bed, sinking into the surface for a more relaxing experience before sleep comes.
And, if you are having a hard time falling asleep try reading something that has put you to sleep in the past. It’s usually something you should be reading, rather than something you want to read. You can even check out audiobooks to put you to sleep if listening is better than trying to read late at night.
When I was younger and I upset someone, I would replay the incident over and over again. I found it intolerable that someone would be upset or angry with me. It felt devastating. I would apologize again and again, becoming a nuisance. Sometimes people would be more upset with my groveling than they were with the original upset. I couldn’t get it out of my mind. It felt like anything I did that hurt others was unforgivable. There was no fun to be had.
As a new age devotee in my late teens to early thirties I had embraced the idea of letting things go. But I didn’t know how to do that. I couldn’t let discriminatory situations go. I was beyond upset when I was judged unfairly. And, as explained, I couldn’t let things go when someone was upset with me.
In this time of polarization, and post-pandemic frustrations, we are seeing more and more people hold onto ideology that is not being played out on the world stage. It’s easy to look at the dismay and think that they should just let go of their fury. But that is easier said than done.
How many times have we been told, “Just let it go?” I think that usually tells us more about the person who is advocating for letting it go. I have found that letting go is a process. It is not something you can simply do at a moment’s notice. Though that seems to be the desire of others. We have not expanded our tolerance for differences, so it can play out that others tell us to let go so they can feel more comfortable.
Let us have patience with ourselves and others. Let’s work on soothing ourselves when we’re uncomfortable. That can be essential in the letting go process. When we aren’t fighting how we feel or how others feel, there is more space to let go. Or, even better, there’s more acceptance of what is. These are hard times. Let’s see what we can gain from the discomfort rather than continually trying to shut ourselves and others down.
Though I have no definitive answers, I do believe that self-compassion, compassion for others, as well as patience and kindness can be revolutionary acts in times of intolerance.
Self-Care Tips:
When you are working on letting something go, ask yourself, “What am I experiencing?” Then see if you can care for yourself as you go through it.
When you are upset with someone else’s stance, ask yourself, “What am I feeling in response to their stance?” Then see what you need to care for yourself while not disparaging them.
Do one small thing you’ve been putting off. Today I mended a torn glove. It’s not quite as good as new, but it’s done, and I can let it go.
Having lived as long as I have, visiting friends and family sometimes means travel. Following our amazing time in Mexico City we took a drive to the Teotihuacán Pyramids, which were magnificent. It’s a pre-historic Mayan city. To walk in the same steps as those who resided there thousands of years ago is a powerful experience. From there we traveled on to San Miguel de Allende, a lovely small city with an artistic soul.
It was there I enjoyed a reunion with Annie, a friend for almost forty years. It had been decades wince we saw each other. What a joy to share our memories while catching up with life now. She, like many expats, has made San Miguel her home.
Year after year Travel and Leisure names San Miguel de Allende one of the best places to retire. Though stunning, warm, and inviting, the cobblestones alone, not to mention the hilly landscape, are a deterrent as a retirement destination for me. Even so, it is easy to see the happiness of so many retired individuals.
While in San Miguel, thanks to Annie, we had a wonderful time sitting on porches and balconies, catching up while city life passed by. She created an amazing trip for us. We saw markets, architecture, historical churches, art galleries, resorts, and flora and fauna. We were all exhausted with the wealth of activities. The food and drinks were delicious, and laugher was our soundtrack.
I am so grateful for my wonderful friends, near and far. It makes for a rich life, indeed.
Self-Care Tips:
Reconnect with friends, especially those with whom you can laugh. It’s always a joy when laughter is shared in our relationships.
As the weather gets warmer, sit outside to people watch, read a book, or just enjoy the scenery.
Rub your hands together until the palms are warm, then place them on tired eyes, on your heart or belly. It can be a self-soothing act.
“Almost everything will work if you unplug it for a few minutes….including you.” -Anne Lamott-”
There are some days that I just don’t want to do anything. And if I have to do something it can feel particularly labored. I woke up this morning with a strong case of I don’t wanna. I was still tired, though I received eight hours of sleep. I was achy even though I’m stretching more given the needs of being in my mid-60s. I was able to get away last weekend, though it now feels like it was weeks ago.
The issue for me is that there is a lot to get done. The challenge is to break it down into what has to get done today as opposed to what I can do another time. When I feel like this I try to listen. I assume it means I need a break. And to get that break, I am choosing to do less today.
With that in mind, I will share more pictures taken earlier this week, and I will write less now.
Self-Care Tips:
When you have the belabored feeling that “it’s all too much,” see if you can take a short break. When we’re feeling overwhelmed, a break can feel counterintuitive, but in actuality it can allow you to move forward with a new willingness.
Don’t underestimate the power of small steps forward. Our minds often think in “all or nothing” ways rather than taking little actions that can create lasting changes.
Enjoy the solar eclipse with safe eyewear wherever you are in its path.
I made a trip to DC this weekend. I was going to visit family, see a musical, get to the National Portrait Gallery and enjoy the cherry blossoms. I was able to enjoy time with my family and see a most wonderful show at Arena Stage Theater. Bu it turns out the Cherry Blossoms were premature this year due to the warmer winter months. I thought I was early enough but that was not the case. I saw trees with waning petals, the best in Takoma Park, MD. But the city failed to provide me with the simple joy of full flowered trees wherever I went.
My first sighting was while on a speeding train due south. It looked promising on the bank of a river. Once in the city limits, I got to my hotel room and ran out to ensure the best viewing possible. Instead, they mostly alluded me. I was able to spot a few here and there. I walked the length of the mall to see what I could find. There was one cropping which was filled with a crowd, mostly posing under and close to the trees. Apparently a lot of people were visiting the capitol for the love of cherry blossoms.
Though the cherry blossoms were disappointing for the most part, it turned into a game and each time I saw a flowering tree I got excited. A made-up game, similar to those I played as a child. The real thrill was seeing my in-laws who I haven’t seen in years. They had changed and at the same time were very much the same in a comforting way that comes from familiarity. Their garden is the product of love. Their home, filled with beautiful artwork, was good to see again after too much time had passed. Then, last evening was a true gift. The Unknown Soldier, a stunning musical with beautifully woven threads composed by Michael Friedman, is a rich, nuanced show with an outstanding cast. Though I didn’t see it when it premiered in New York City at Playwright’s Horizon, it was wonderful to enjoy in in DC.
Outside the theater as light raindrops suddenly and unexpectedly arrived, an errant cherry blossom landed in my hair. My weekend was complete.
Self-Care Tips:
Create a game for yourself this Spring of finding and naming flowers as you go about your activities.
When you have an unfulfilled expectation, try to balance disappointment with discovery of hidden gifts. It’s important you don’t deny your feelings. But equally important that your disappointment doesn’t obscure something agreeable.
If you’ve been meaning to call, write or visit someone, reach out. We more often regret what we haven’t done rather than the actions we take.
It was a quiet day. Not the reading a book while sipping tea on a rainy-day type of quiet. It was quiet because I wasn’t plugged into a device. The TV was not on. The quiet came from not connecting my phone to my earbuds to listen to a book, a podcast or music. It’s even quiet now as I’m writing this. Lucy, who is asleep next to me isn’t even snoring. She must be enjoying the quiet, too.
It’s rare that I’m not listening or talking when walking. While walking in the rain there were few pedestrians, keeping the sound low even on city streets. Since my days are full of sounds, both cacophonous and melodic, I took note when I realized I had not continued listening to my book. Currently it’s the bold, beautiful Lessons for Survival, written and read by Emily Raboteau. She cares so deeply about our planet and our neglected populations, and her passion is contagious. Nor had I chosen between the two albums I’ve been enjoying, Natalie Douglas’s new “Back to the Garden,” as well as Rhiannon Giddens most recent “You’re the One.” I went to both concerts and listening to their most recent music with their gorgeous voices has been joyful.
Nonetheless, it was not the day for that. I think I needed the quiet. There was a peacefulness in the quiet. A rare experience of peace with so much going on in the world that is anything but peaceful. In the city, as vibrant as it is, would rarely be describe as peaceful or quiet. I think that is what made it so special. Sometimes an unplanned divergence from our routines can be a very special gift.
Self-Care Tips:
Switch up your routine. You may find reading or viewing something different teaches you something you didn’t know about yourself or others.
If you prefer the quiet, listen to music to open up new neuropathways. If you are usually listening to something or have the TV on in the background, turn them off to experience something different. Notice what you feel in the quiet.
Get to know the music of Rhiannon Giddens. It’s so varied. Or listen to the award-winning Natalie Douglas. Her voice is golden. Both have a range of styles.
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