Category Archives: rest

Letting Go in 2025, Week Fifty-Two in the No Longer New Abnormal

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I don’t know what 2025 has in store for us, but I do know that I am doing my best to let things go so I have the mental space to enjoy what good comes our way, and to endure what hardships might present themselves.  I think of letting go as a lifestyle edit.  However, I don’t have a great track record of editing my own stuff.  I give things away and quickly fill the void.  I attempt to open up time in my schedule only to return to my busy norm.  I believe in second and seventeenth chances, so I am cleaning out my drawers and closets, as best I can. I am limiting my activity to events that bring me pure joy.  Letting go is more a state of being than the action it takes to unload.  

In the service of letting go, I will be shifting when and how I post on this blog.  It may not be weekly, unless I’m so inclined.  I am going to try to create a bit of freedom from writing so that I can relax more.  It will be interesting to see what that’s like.  I’ve learned so much from these past years writing this blog.  The comments you sent lifted me up or had me look at blind spots.  I saw glorious New York City differently as I tried to share passing sights along the way. 

I am beyond grateful for those of you who have been readers.  It is my hope that writing this blog contributed in some way to whatever you’ve been going through.  I wish each of you moments of joy and grace throughout 2025 as you navigate a reality we dared not imagine.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • Make a list of self-care tips from past blog posts or from other sources.  Make sure they’re tips you can easily do and that you find helpful.  The list is a great resource when you’re stressed or feeling down and can’t think of what may be useful.  
  • Go through your sock drawer to rid yourself of socks with holes. But if you prefer, darn them.   It’s a little thing you can do to start the new year without past defects that are easily remedied.  
  • Enjoy the last vestiges of the holiday season by reliving the splendid Darlene Love when she performed her holiday classic on the last David Letterman Holiday Special.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsU08y9peZg

A Year in Pics, Week Fifity in the No Longer New Abnormal

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We have two and half more weeks until we get to 2025.  What a year it’s been.  Most of us struggled to understand and appreciate those who view things differently.  There has been a lot of vilifying.  I’m tired.  I bet you are, too.  Though there was also joy amongst the adversity.  So rather than write more about hardship or any other topic when we need a reprieve from more voices on the subject, I’ll leave you with some fun photos from 2024, with self-care tips at the end.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • When you’re pushing yourself, try a short break.  Sometimes stepping away can revitalize you and relieve some of the pressure. 
  • Conversely, when you are having a hard time starting something, take one small step towards what has to get done.  Do one push-up, write one sentence.  Run around one block.  Clean one surface.  Whatever it is one step forward will help move things in the direction of reaching 
  • Be silly.  Skip.  Hop up and down.  Do a silly dance.  Being silly helps us to take ourselves less seriously which in turn opens us up to youth and joy.  

It’s A Lot of Hard Work to Find Ease, Week Forty-Three in the No Longer New Abnormal

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In the USA we have a national and local election coming up and the stress related to that is palpable in most communities.  There is division and animosity.  Strong feelings are being played out in arguments, and in non-political spaces.  Road rage, short tempers and dismissiveness abound.  To offset that we have to make intentional choices.  Can we find lightness in all of this infuriation?  I’m working on it.  But it’s not easy.  Meditation works.  It’s not an instant fix, but the more I spend time focusing on the present the more I can stay in all the other present moments, and not get caught up in election anxiety.  Patience helps.  If I can understand that my expectation that things should go a certain way are in conflict with the reality at hand, I can calm myself down.  

I am not listening to news that instigates my ire for their ratings.  I read AllSides, https://www.allsides.com/unbiased-balanced-news, so I can understand opposing points of view and reach my own conclusions.  I also like 1440,  https://join1440.com. Neither are complete news sources, but I can follow a story if I want more.  The outline format is calming rather than activating.  I take walks, swim, and dance.  I love the arts, which immediately take me into a creative and often healing mindset.  Theater has been a balm in these times, as have museums, concerts and dance performances.  The city can be frenetic, which can heighten anxiety.  But the city is an amazing resource for the arts and green spaces that counterbalance that collective angst.  

Let us work to live with equanimity.  We may not wield political power, but when we feel that we have agency in our personal lives, we can find ease by acting in ways that align with kindness, consideration, compassion and respect.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • When you find you are getting agitated, take three deep breaths.  Ask yourself if the current situation is necessary?  Do you need a break?  Can you give yourself what you need at that moment?  And, if not, ask yourself what you may need later, and when you will be able to provide that for yourself?  
  • Humor is a great equalizer.  Find humor that is not harmful to others but allows you the freedom to laugh with abandon.  Think of old skits, tv shows, or comedians who have been funny from your past.  
  • Create space from people in your life who are instigators.  Whether you have to walk away because they just can’t help themselves, or whether you can find ways to communicate that limit their negativity, you will feel the relief very quickly.  

Happy/Sad, Week Forty-Two in the No Longer new Abnormal

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Have you ever done something that makes you so happy you can feel the sadness below the surface?  That is exactly what I’m experiencing now.  I went for a run.  The weather is beautiful in New York City.  Perfect for a run.  The sun was tucked under the clouds so that I could see a gleam, but I didn’t have to shade my eyes.  East End Avenue, right by the water, was free of traffic so that I could soften my steps with Asphalt rather than pounding the concrete pavement.  I was happy to get out after too long a break from running.  I didn’t overdo it.  I went as far as I could while respecting my limitations.  All was good.  Yet, while I felt gratitude and joy, I also felt heavy hearted.  There is much in the world that saddens me.  I see no easy fixes.  And, too many are struggling and even suffering due to dehumanizing beliefs, powerful weather forces, war, bullying, and judgement with righteousness.  Need I go on?  

It is hard to know what organizations get money, supplies and direct help to those in need.  I’m not always sure what to say to my friends and family who are in pain or dealing with health issues.  Or how do I tell my friends who have been hit by hurricanes, flooding and tornadoes that I’m thinking of them when, at the moment, our area hasn’t been hit by powerful forces?  How do I stay compassionate when so many are angry, and rightfully so?  Since I’m not certain what to do, I will send love.  My imperfect offer to those struggling.  Yet I still feel so much sadness.  I also feel the joy of connecting to others, of connecting with you.  Let us all find ways to bring love, care, support, and resources where and to whom we can.  

Self-Care Tips: 

  • Allow yourself to feel mixed emotions.  It’s a richer experience than controlling hard feelings. 
  • Offer thoughts and/or support where you can.  It can be for those you know or those who you know need immediate help.  
  • Exercise your ability to listen. Rather than sharing your own experiences, ask someone how they are and simply listen as they speak.   

A Day Trip Downtown, Week Thirty-Nine in the No Longer New Abnormal

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I enjoyed one of the best New York City combinations this weekend, I made my way downtown to Gansevoort Street to see the traveling exhibit, The Great Elephant Migration, a large exhibit to support Asian Elephants in India in the Meatpacking District.  From there I stopped at the Whitney Museum to see a preview of a fabulous exhibit honoring Alvin Ailey.  Finally I stopped at Chelsea Markets for what I can only describe as a super delicious end to a wonderful day.  The halvah sundae at Seed & Mill is an amazing treat I discovered years ago and had yet to return before yesterday.  The entire experience was energizing and made me so happy.  

I can easily latch on to negative thinking if I am in the company of others’ upsets.  I wanted a nap, but instead I willfully walked across town to take the C subway to 14th Street to carve out this quintessentially New York City experience.  Though, the Great Elephant Migration will be coming to Miami and Los Angeles via Browning Montana. 

 https://thegreatelephantmigration.org  

These kinds of experiences make it a lot easier to take care of mundane tasks for the rest of the weekend.  And, though I post about special experiences my life, as well as most other lives, consist of mundane tasks.  That is not a bad thing.  When we appreciate how these tasks support our day to day the mundane can be the greatest self-care and care for others we provide.  Getting my laundry done, straightening up the apartment, walking Lucy, or stopping at the grocer gets me through my week.  And when there is an art exhibit or a new show in town those are simply the Halvah topping on the sundae.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • Breath in Ease, Breath out Stress.  Repeat. 
  • Rather than filling in your time with those who have become obligation relationships, see if you can set limits with them and find those with whom you can relax and be accepted for being yourself.
  • Turn on some music and dance.  Even one song can shift our energy.  

I Made it to Ireland, Week Thirty-Three in the No Longer New Abnormal

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I first started reading Roddy Doyle’s books as a young adult.  I can’t remember if my sister, Sharyn ,recommended on of them, or if the movie The Commitments came out and I became an instant fan of his.  Either way, his writing along with other authors such as Frank McCourt, Maeve Binchy, and Edna O’Brian had me long to visit Ireland. 
 
After a good many decades I made it here.   That is where I am as I write this in a hotel in beautiful Killarney Town.  Today as we drove around the Ring of Kerry seeing spectacular views on one of the few clear and sunny days, my breath was taken away again and again.  Even tonight, I was able to enjoy my first Irish sunset.  Previous nights the clouds obscured any variation in color.  Gray was the prominent hue throughout.  
 
So, rather than tell you about this trip, which has been delightful throughout, I am sharing some pictures from my phone wielding photo app.  
 
Thanks for taking the time to see a snippet of what I saw.  
 
Self-Care Tips:
Enjoy reading or listening to a Roddy Doyle novel.  Funny & moving.  
Find a version of “Danny Boy” that you favor.  Here is one blog with a number of versions:  http://21essays.blogspot.com/2013/01/ten-great-recordings-of-danny-boy.html
Think of books, music, and art that have influenced choices you’ve made in your life.  It could be travel, recipes, occupations, friends, or anything else.  Always important to see how the arts affirm us and change us.  
 

Emotional Moments, Week Thirty in the No Longer New Abnormal

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It’s a beautiful morning today.  There is a light breeze, the sun is out but not scorching, and the sky is clear.  The temperature dropped so it feels simply delightful.  I left my apartment before 7:30 am so that I could get in a destination walk to and from Trader Joe’s to pick up a few groceries for the week.  My plan was to be in and out before the Saturday rush.  I was walking on the east side of the street, which is less sunny, thus cooler, in the mornings.  When I approached 68th Street I was in back of someone else with a cart who had a similar plan at Trader Joe’s.  She kept trying to get around a woman with her dog whose leash straddled the entire sidewalk.  When I got close enough I said, “Excuse me, we want to pass you and your dog.”  She didn’t move.  I was less polite in my next attempt.  “You’re taking up the whole sidewalk, can you move so we can pass?” “Fuck you” she said as she barely made room for us.  As I made my way around her dog, I said “You don’t have to take the entire sidewalk.”  My tone sounded as annoyed as I felt.  Even though I had been happy to be out and about on a glorious day, I quickly turned into a grouch.  Again, she repeated, “Fuck You!” This time louder so there would be no mistaking her ire.  I didn’t look back, and I’m not proud to say that I then gave her the finger with my back to her.  Only in retrospect could I think clearly and realize she’s not having a good morning.  Did I need to add to that?  

I can easily get annoyed with others.  Earlier this week I had to hold my tongue more than once when I witnessed disregard for others, rudeness and disrespect.  What I know from my work and friendships is that there is a lot of personal struggles going on now.  I have to remember that each time I’m apt to criticize.  Whether people are struggling financially, interpersonally or with the current political landscape, things are not easy.  I notice my nervous system is on overdrive.  Some days I want to nap more.  Other times I want to yell. Though I didn’t yell this morning, I wasn’t pleasant either.   I am taking my own emotional temperature, then applying whatever self-care tips I can to find peace wherever and whenever I can.  Yes, it’s challenging.  But it’s essential.  Too many people are wound too tightly.  

So, for this week, less writing, more sleep, and more ease.  Simplicity during this societal quagmire is what’s on tap.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • Give anonymously.  
  • Enjoy gentle movement.  Whether it’s dancing slowly or taking a stroll, gentle movement is calming. 
  • Chew slowly.  Enjoy every bite.  

Zucchini Fritters, Week Twenty-Eight in the No Longer New Abnormal

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It’s sweltering outside.  The humidity and the temperature are high.  Though I have a good number of chores to get done, I’m choosing to spend this time writing this blog in the air conditioning.  I haven’t planned what I’ll write, so as unoriginal as it is, I’ve started by mentioning the weather.  Inspiration is not forthcoming.  I just walked away to go into the kitchen.  I cubed and toasted bread to make breadcrumbs to go with the zucchini I purchased today at the farmer’s mlaarket.  In fact, the bread came from there last week.  I ‘m making zucchini fritters.  The eggs that go in the mix come from another stall at the farmer’s market.  I didn’t see the right onions, so I’ll have to go out for them.  I so enjoy the sweet and savory combination of the fritters.  

Rather than a traditional blog post, I will share how to make Zucchini Fritters or Zucchini Cakes.  I don’t have a recipe so these are approximations. 

I medium to large zucchini

1 onion

Bread crumbs from 3 slices of bread (or about a cup or so)

2 eggs

Salt

Pepper

Vegetable oil

Grate the zucchini.  I use a food processor, but you can do it with a hand grater if you don’t mind spending more time.  Chop the onion, unless you purchased it chopped already.  Add salt, pepper and any other spices you like.  Beat the eggs then mix the zucchini, eggs, breadcrumbs and spices.  When the oil is heated in the pan spoon one at a time a tablespoon of the mixture.  Allow it to sizzle until it’s brown on the bottom, then flip with a spatula.  When they are brown on the reverse side, use the spatula to place them on a plate with paper towel to absorb the extra oil.   

You can also spray a baking pan and bake them in the oven using less fat and oil.  They aren’t as crispy, but the flavor is still there.  

You can eat them when cooked, or you can store them in the refrigerator.  I like them with tzatziki.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • Enjoy fresh zucchini or other vegetables and fruits in season, no matter if you eat them raw or cooked.  
  • If you like to cook or bake, try your own interpretation of a recipe.  It’s delicious when you accommodate your own tastes. 
  • If you are uninspired take a detour and go in another direction

Happy May, Week Nineteen in the No Longer New Abnormal

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I enjoyed a long walk in Riverside Park this weekend.  It’s been a few years, while in the darkest days of the pandemic, that I had visited the park by the Hudson River.  Spring is gracing New York City with colorful blooms.  On our sunnier days smiles are exchanged as strangers pass one another.  

May has begun with a variety of weather fronts, one day I put away my winter wear only to take it off the top shelves the very next day.  Though I am perplexed as to what to wear, I have no confusion when it comes to taking in the flowers and trees whenever I enter a park.  I may be chilly, but I’m warmed by the bright colors on my walks.  

I also find that after a day walking I sleep better.  Always a gift for these tired bones.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • For sleep, open your mouth wide and release your lower jaw to let go of any tension held in your jaw.  Follow it up with a smile as you take a breath.  Letting go on the stress will help to ease into sleep
  • Another sleep tip is to imagine your mattress, bed, or any sleeping surface is caressing you.  Allow all your weight to be held by your bed, sinking into the surface for a more relaxing experience before sleep comes.  
  • And, if you are having a hard time falling asleep try reading something that has put you to sleep in the past.  It’s usually something you should be reading, rather than something you want to read.  You can even check out audiobooks to put you to sleep if listening is better than trying to read late at night.   

Letting Go, Week Eighteen in the No Longer New Abnormal

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When I was younger and I upset someone, I would replay the incident over and over again.  I found it intolerable that someone would be upset or angry with me.  It felt devastating.  I would apologize again and again, becoming a nuisance.   Sometimes people would be more upset with my groveling than they were with the original upset.  I couldn’t get it out of my mind.  It felt like anything I did that hurt others was unforgivable.  There was no fun to be had.  

As a new age devotee in my late teens to early thirties I had embraced the idea of letting things go.  But I didn’t know how to do that.  I couldn’t let discriminatory situations go.  I was beyond upset when I was judged unfairly.  And, as explained, I couldn’t let things go when someone was upset with me.  

In this time of polarization, and post-pandemic frustrations, we are seeing more and more people hold onto ideology that is not being played out on the world stage.  It’s easy to look at the dismay and think that they should just let go of their fury.    But that is easier said than done.  

How many times have we been told, “Just let it go?”  I think that usually tells us more about the person who is advocating for letting it go.  I have found that letting go is a process.  It is not something you can simply do at a moment’s notice.  Though that seems to be the desire of others.  We have not expanded our tolerance for differences, so it can play out that others tell us to let go so they can feel more comfortable.  

Let us have patience with ourselves and others.  Let’s work on soothing ourselves when we’re uncomfortable.  That can be essential in the letting go process.  When we aren’t fighting how we feel or how others feel, there is more space to let go.  Or, even better, there’s more acceptance of what is.  These are hard times.  Let’s see what we can gain from the discomfort rather than continually trying to shut ourselves and others down.  

Though I have no definitive answers, I do believe that self-compassion, compassion for others, as well as patience and kindness can be revolutionary acts in times of intolerance.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • When you are working on letting something go, ask yourself,  “What am I experiencing?”  Then see if you can care for yourself as you go through it.
  • When you are upset with someone else’s stance, ask yourself, “What am I feeling in response to their stance?”  Then see what you need to care for yourself while not disparaging them.  
  • Do one small thing you’ve been putting off.  Today I mended a torn glove.  It’s not quite as good as new, but it’s done, and I can let it go.