This weekend I walked in the steaming heat enjoying Summer Streets while traversing Park Avenue without cars. I will miss the next two Saturdays, so it was a pleasant reprieve to have more than enough room while walking among pedestrians, runners, and cyclists. I am going away. Initially I packed for a hot summer, but according to the lower temperatures in Dublin I was ill prepared. Following my lovely and tiring walk, I unpacked and repacked for a ten-day trip to Ireland. Instead of tank tops and sandals I’m bringing sweaters and socks.
I am very excited. Reading Edna O’Brian and Roddy Doyle, starting in high school, have instilled in me a love of Ireland, though I’ve never step foot on the Island. It was my college friend, Shawn Wilson’s idea. We had been trying to get together for years. We both have busy professional lives with very different schedules. Shawn threw out the idea and the trip was planned within a day. Not only did we agree on the one week that was good for both of us, but she found an amazing local tour that appealed to both of us. Since I am usually the planner in my family, it was an extra luxury to have my friend take care of the details.
We’ll meet up in Dublin and go from there, probably taking too many pictures. In the meantime, I have a few off-the-beaten-path pictures of New York City, pre-vacation.
Self-Care Tips:
Hugs. If you know a good hugger exchange a great hug. If you are on your own, wrap your arms around yourself for a self-loving embrace.
Seek out something unusual for you. Read an article from another point of view. Look up an unfamiliar country and find out about its culture, foods, landscape and customs.
Enjoy in-season fruits and vegetables. The peaches are divine. The strawberries and blueberries are at their peak. And summer squash is sweet and versatile.
This morning things did not go as planned. I could not find my luggage scale for a vacation organized for next week. It wasn’t in the usual places, so I did a deeper dive with no luck. Next, I attempted to send emails, and had to restart my computer. I wasn’t able to find my to-do list I wrote in the wee hours last night so I could check off tasks one at a time. It showed up, but it meant I got a later start. Of course, there are some days like this. I’ll do what I can today and let go of the rest. What I do know is that I plan to see women’s gymnastics trials on TV tonight. I’m looking forward to it.
I’m not sure what Olympians do when things don’t work out well at any given time. Of course, there’s no comparison between a quotidian day as opposed to training and performing in competitive sports as an elite athlete. But it is certain that whatever they go through they transcend limitations to perform their best when required. That is only part of what is so inspiring about watching the best of the best. I was moved to see the boats down the Seine with each country’s athletic representatives. It took so much for them to make it to this moment. And, they all deserve our respect for their commitment to excellence. That was only topped off when Celine Dion, who has had so many hard days while tackling stiff person syndrome, sang with power and poise.
Watching the Olympics reminds me of the human capacity to obtain our dreams if we work hard and keep our eye on our goals, always remembering why we want to reach our aspirations. So, when we face obstacles small and large, we can process them on our way to our main objectives. Whether that’s producing a blog post, or most importantly these weeks, competing for a place on the podium wearing a metal, let us learn and grow so we can prevail.
Self-Care Tips:
When we face obstacles, take a moment to see if that means going in another direction, pausing before starting up again, or powering through. There is not one way to handle challenges. But we can all benefit from having patience and being kind while assessing the choices.
Be awed and inspired by watching the Olympics.
Find a sport you usually don’t watch just to see how other athletes perform.
It’s a beautiful morning today. There is a light breeze, the sun is out but not scorching, and the sky is clear. The temperature dropped so it feels simply delightful. I left my apartment before 7:30 am so that I could get in a destination walk to and from Trader Joe’s to pick up a few groceries for the week. My plan was to be in and out before the Saturday rush. I was walking on the east side of the street, which is less sunny, thus cooler, in the mornings. When I approached 68th Street I was in back of someone else with a cart who had a similar plan at Trader Joe’s. She kept trying to get around a woman with her dog whose leash straddled the entire sidewalk. When I got close enough I said, “Excuse me, we want to pass you and your dog.” She didn’t move. I was less polite in my next attempt. “You’re taking up the whole sidewalk, can you move so we can pass?” “Fuck you” she said as she barely made room for us. As I made my way around her dog, I said “You don’t have to take the entire sidewalk.” My tone sounded as annoyed as I felt. Even though I had been happy to be out and about on a glorious day, I quickly turned into a grouch. Again, she repeated, “Fuck You!” This time louder so there would be no mistaking her ire. I didn’t look back, and I’m not proud to say that I then gave her the finger with my back to her. Only in retrospect could I think clearly and realize she’s not having a good morning. Did I need to add to that?
I can easily get annoyed with others. Earlier this week I had to hold my tongue more than once when I witnessed disregard for others, rudeness and disrespect. What I know from my work and friendships is that there is a lot of personal struggles going on now. I have to remember that each time I’m apt to criticize. Whether people are struggling financially, interpersonally or with the current political landscape, things are not easy. I notice my nervous system is on overdrive. Some days I want to nap more. Other times I want to yell. Though I didn’t yell this morning, I wasn’t pleasant either. I am taking my own emotional temperature, then applying whatever self-care tips I can to find peace wherever and whenever I can. Yes, it’s challenging. But it’s essential. Too many people are wound too tightly.
So, for this week, less writing, more sleep, and more ease. Simplicity during this societal quagmire is what’s on tap.
Self-Care Tips:
Give anonymously.
Enjoy gentle movement. Whether it’s dancing slowly or taking a stroll, gentle movement is calming.
When I was in the third grade I took my first trip to an art museum. It was a class field trip and I found the Philadelphia Museum of Art boring. We were on a tour and it was more about history and paintings of old wars than anything that interested me. Had the guide stopped by the Mary Cassatt portrait or explained Brancusi’s The Kiss rather than marching us past it to view Washington’s Crossing, I may have found my love for art a bit sooner. It took me until high school and many more visits to the Museum to learn what I like as opposed to what I prefer to leave on the walls on my way to better things.
This week while it was sweltering I made my way to The Metropolitan Museum. I had yet to see the roof exhibit, and I knew I could take a slow walk in the heat before returning to work. On the way I passed Park Avenue and took a look at art made from tires. While I appreciate repurposing discarded or unused material, I am not a fan of the art. The same can be said of some of the items I see at the museum. They may appeal to antiquities fans, but viewing scraps of pottery is not my idea of a good museum visit.
Luckily there is much to enjoy. I never tire of the Rodin hall, or the sculptures in the airy American wing. And there’s so many more amazing wings and exhibits to explore. However, I do believe even bad art is better than no art. Art challenges us. We use our imaginations. We find out about our ever-evolving tastes. I am grateful that Park Avenue brings the art to the public, even when it’s not to my liking. Over the years going downtown to Park Avenue South is much more satisfying for this art lover. The lower end of Park Avenue displays better public art, in my opinion. I’m looking forward to seeing what they have provided for us this summer. In the meantime, I will look out for pop-up art on my summer strolls.
Self-Care Tips:
If you can, go to a crafts fair where you can test out your aesthetic by assessing what you like and what might appeal to others.
Sigh loudly. A good sigh is such a great release that provides relief. (Just make sure you’re alone or you might startle those around you)
Watch a nature documentary or short film. Even if you aren’t able to get out in nature, films, photos and nature programs are a great way to be awed by other species and the planet itself.
I was surprised today when I dropped my iPhone and the case cracked that it didn’t create a tailspin in which I cracked a bit, too. Instead, I was thankful that I gave myself a day with a flexible schedule allowing me to take Lucy and me to the Apple store to have my phone repaired. I even sat patiently waiting for my turn as Lucy demanded treats since it wasn’t her idea to leave our neighborhood. Luckily I unknowingly stocked enough treats for the day.
I can get a bit unhinged when things don’t go my way. When I plan for an easy day it usually does not include hours in pursuit of a phone repair. Somehow I wasn’t miffed. I did what I needed to do. Though they were unable to fix my phone today, they will have the part next week. And, Larry, who works at Apple, can take my phone in, leaving me phoneless for a day next weekend. But it’s not a day with a phone session, so I think I’ll be okay.
I am grateful for whatever was in play that allowed for a calm day despite the change in plans. I espouse going with the flow, but I am not always the poster girl for that sentiment. Somehow today was different. Maybe it had to do that I wasn’t under a tight schedule. Often self-enforces I try to get a lot done in any given day. Maybe today will help me to take it easy more. I have to say it certainly is more pleasant than adding pressure to accomplish more and more. In having less to do, I was able to take care of what was most important. Lucy got a long walk in, and I got to make sure my phone will be fixed.
All in all a good day, cracked phone included.
Self-Care Tips:
Try to lighten up your schedule to make room for the unexpected
Make a note when you have a different reaction to an unwanted situation. If you are more upset, check in with yourself to see if it’s added to existing stressors. And if it’s less than maddening, appreciate the moment and enjoy the emotional freedom when it presents itself.
Rather than judging yourself when you judge another, see if you can detach from the thought allowing that it’s a thought not an indictment of your character. When we judge ourselves for judging others we only add to our judgements. When we release the thought, we lessen what we deem unbecoming. Thus we are kinder to ourselves leading the way to have more compassion for others.
I spent five days this week recording short videos for my new book, In the Time of Coronavirus, Reflecting on the Past to Embrace a Joyful Future. I am uncomfortable promoting the book. I am not made for publicity and sales. They are not my strengths. But I am willing to move out of my comfort zone (though is life ever really comfortable?) and attempt to promote my book by sharing self-care tips from the paperback.
The lighting has been all wrong. I jerry-rigged a desk and a stack of books to record the videos. And, I have no idea how to edit , so you can see m turning the record button on and off. I see wonderful, professionally styled videos on TikTok. But every time I go to the app, I am flummoxed and can’t figure out some of the simplest issues.
I imagine I’ll learn through trial and error. Or I can hope to befriend a much younger person who can guide me past my antiquated ways. In the meantime, I will hobble along posting substandard clips. Hopefully the featured self-care tips will be value-added on these amateur endeavors. In the meantime, I’m living and learning.
Self-Care Tips:
Keep the self-care tips coming, buy In the Time of Coronavirus. Perhaps this tip is self-care for me. But it is my hope, you will benefit from the tips in the book.
Keep a pad & oen along with a small flashlight by your bed. If you have a hard time getting to sleep, or you wake up with thoughts swirling, writing worries or thoughts down long-hand without the assistance of a lit device, will help you to get the sleep you need.
When making a written request, reread what you’ve written to make sure the request is clear thus enhancing your chances of getting what you want.
I was nervous. I had agreed to participate in a Zoom panel which included reading from my pre-published book, In the Time of Coronavirus. but it’s been a long time since I’ve spoken to a group. As I was practicing, reading the blog post a few times, I noticed my voice sounded like it was stuck in my throat. I did not think that was a good thing.
It’s allergy season. I hadn’t grown up with allergies. That role was my brother Joel’s realm. He was racked with sniffling and sneezing in the spring with hay fever, pollen allergies and more. As much as he loved little league, his nose itched on third base. I wondered if he could even see the ball given his watery eyes. He did well enough. But it was not until now, in my mid-sixties, that I can appreciate what he’s gone through his entire life.
Allergies are not pleasant. And even less so when I want to read with authority. But I needn’t have worried. When I looked at the attendees, I noticed so many kind and supportive faces and names, both those I knew, and those who came for the other authors. I settled in, allergies and all, and listened to the two other panelists, knowing it was better for me, and for them, that I stay focused with what they were reading rather than reside in my head worried about how I would do.
In fact, the show of support helped me to feel grateful, which in turn buoyed me to simply read and not watch my own performance. I’m not sure how I did, but the experience was extremely fulfilling. It’s so easy to be grateful when in the presence of caring individuals.
Self-Care Tips:
When you get your hands wet, rather than just washing them or drying them, feel the water, appreciate the wet sensation of touching water. Let the sensation of having water move through your hands capture a new perception of being in the moment.
Say Good night to yourself. It’s a simple acknowledgment that your day has come to an end and it’s time to put yourself to sleep.
Observe how you feel when in the presence of others. If you feel confident, energized or at ease, you know you’re in good company.
In thinking about what to write this week I wondered if I should write about Mother’s Day. But I decided that rather than writing more on the day that brings up so much for so many, I’ll limit my input by briefly folding it into the self-care tips, Then there have been amazing pictures online of the rare Aurelia Borealis. Though I didn’t witness it myself, those who captured the colorful wonder have posted images that defy words. What I’ve settled on is to say that when I reread my book a couple of months ago, In the Time of Coronavirus, for the last look before submitting it for publication, I became very uset. I thought, “Who do I think I am?’ and “what could I have been thinking?” and, “This is bad. I’m so embarrassed!” I have a long history of berating myself. At that moment I questioned my writing, and my hubris for thinking I could put a book out into the world.
I very down on myself. But I had gotten so far and I decided to give the final go-ahead, knowing I’d have to with all my feelings. It had been a dream of mine to be an author, and it was okay if this was my first, if flawed, book. I had learned a lot and I still have a lot to learn, so this would be a dream come true, even if there were things that upset me.
Once it was in pre-publication, the publishing date is June 4th, a few early reviews came in. They were very positive. The reviewers didn’t know me, nor did they have any incentive to write nice things about the book. Once I read a couple, I realized how hard I had been on myself, and, in turn, the book. Maybe I was simply wrong. Or I had unreasonable expectations. Not a rare trait. Just ask my family. I am grateful that others have been able to appreciate what I couldn’t. Though I know it’s probable that there will be mixed reviews, depending on the reader, it’s nice to know it will find its audience, and that is just fine.
Here are a few quotes from the reviews:
From Kirkus:
“Zinn writes in an unadorned style that feels both accessible and intimate. She discusses her subjects with gentle authority while making no claims to having all the answers.”
And:
“A pandemic remembrance that succeeds as both memoir and self-help guide.”
From the Book Commentary:
“In her poignant collection of reflections and self-care strategies, In the Time of Coronavirus, Janet Zinn examines the tumultuous landscape of the pandemic with grace and wisdom.”
And:
“This book might be about coping with the COVID-19 pandemic, but its wisdom is timeless, a message to accompany and inspire readers through any difficult moment.”
From The Feathered Quill:
“With its intimacy centering on Zinn’s experiences and its universality deftly depicted to reach the hearts and minds of others, her book is sure to fulfill the purpose she envisioned.”
And:
“ Janet Zinn’s self-help manual, In the Time of Coronavirus, offers an empathic, week-by-week view of the effects of coronavirus restrictions that will be read and appreciated by anyone seeking to solve a large variety of life’s problems.”
Though I was harsh with no clear perspective, I am open to the fact that my opinion in that dark place was purely subjective. I’m hopeful that other readers will find In the Time of Coronavirus useful and supportive when life’s difficulties emerge. In the end, my first book served its author when I was being too tough on myself.
Self-Care Tips:
Do what you can to reparent yourself. If your mother or caregiver was kind and accepting, you can replicate that care towards yourself. If your primary caregiver or parent was not someone who matched your needs, then find a way to be compassionate towards yourself for what you didn’t receive but can now give to yourself.
Another way to reparent yourself is to notice when you are being critical of yourself and ask “what can I do to be more accepting of what I’m going through?” And, “can I give myself something that might support me through this?”
Gift yourself a future copy of In the Time of Coronavirus. You can go to https://janetzinn.com or go to Amazon, Barnes and Noble, request it from your local library, or from an independent bookstore or book seller.
I enjoyed a long walk in Riverside Park this weekend. It’s been a few years, while in the darkest days of the pandemic, that I had visited the park by the Hudson River. Spring is gracing New York City with colorful blooms. On our sunnier days smiles are exchanged as strangers pass one another.
May has begun with a variety of weather fronts, one day I put away my winter wear only to take it off the top shelves the very next day. Though I am perplexed as to what to wear, I have no confusion when it comes to taking in the flowers and trees whenever I enter a park. I may be chilly, but I’m warmed by the bright colors on my walks.
I also find that after a day walking I sleep better. Always a gift for these tired bones.
Self-Care Tips:
For sleep, open your mouth wide and release your lower jaw to let go of any tension held in your jaw. Follow it up with a smile as you take a breath. Letting go on the stress will help to ease into sleep
Another sleep tip is to imagine your mattress, bed, or any sleeping surface is caressing you. Allow all your weight to be held by your bed, sinking into the surface for a more relaxing experience before sleep comes.
And, if you are having a hard time falling asleep try reading something that has put you to sleep in the past. It’s usually something you should be reading, rather than something you want to read. You can even check out audiobooks to put you to sleep if listening is better than trying to read late at night.
Mexico City, Week Seventeen in the No Longer New Abnormal
Mexico City, what a vast and varied metropolis. The weather is perfect, cool mornings and warm afternoons with the sun shining. Though our time here is short, and I won’t have a chance to visit more than two museums, the Anthropology Museum and the Frida Kahlo house. Two spectacular museums from very different eras. I got lost in a large park yesterday enjoying the sculptures and the paths leading me out about a mile from my destination. There’s something so fun about losing my way and finding new people and places to enjoy.
The fruits and vegetables have been fresh and delicious. In fact most of the food here has been prepared with a love and pride of centuries of tradition. Each neighborhood feels distinct, and each block can vary within any given neighborhood. It is a spectacle for my eyes.
It also happens to be one of the most hospitable cities I’ve visited. Going on vacation, especially when it’s been delayed, and being treated so well only adds to the specialness of this time away. Though we still have much to see before we leave, I’m grateful to be here, so close to home yet worlds away.
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Self-Care Tips:
If and when you get lost, try to look for something unexpected that can add a bright note as you find your way back to where you want to be.
Be adventurous. You don’t have to go away to stretch yourself by trying something new, whether it’s a new spice or a different genre of music than you usually listen to.
Find the humor. It seems so many are having a hard time of it these days. Any small amount of levity can lift up our spirits.
janetzinn 