Category Archives: Walking

Happy May, Week Nineteen in the No Longer New Abnormal

Posted on by
2

I enjoyed a long walk in Riverside Park this weekend.  It’s been a few years, while in the darkest days of the pandemic, that I had visited the park by the Hudson River.  Spring is gracing New York City with colorful blooms.  On our sunnier days smiles are exchanged as strangers pass one another.  

May has begun with a variety of weather fronts, one day I put away my winter wear only to take it off the top shelves the very next day.  Though I am perplexed as to what to wear, I have no confusion when it comes to taking in the flowers and trees whenever I enter a park.  I may be chilly, but I’m warmed by the bright colors on my walks.  

I also find that after a day walking I sleep better.  Always a gift for these tired bones.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • For sleep, open your mouth wide and release your lower jaw to let go of any tension held in your jaw.  Follow it up with a smile as you take a breath.  Letting go on the stress will help to ease into sleep
  • Another sleep tip is to imagine your mattress, bed, or any sleeping surface is caressing you.  Allow all your weight to be held by your bed, sinking into the surface for a more relaxing experience before sleep comes.  
  • And, if you are having a hard time falling asleep try reading something that has put you to sleep in the past.  It’s usually something you should be reading, rather than something you want to read.  You can even check out audiobooks to put you to sleep if listening is better than trying to read late at night.   

San Miguel, Week Seventeen in the No Longer New Abnormal

Posted on by
3

Having lived as long as I have, visiting friends and family sometimes means travel.  Following our amazing time in Mexico City we took a drive to the Teotihuacán Pyramids, which were magnificent.  It’s a pre-historic Mayan city.  To walk in the same steps as those who resided there thousands of years ago is a powerful experience.  From there we traveled on to San Miguel de Allende, a lovely small city with an artistic soul. 

It was there I enjoyed a reunion with Annie, a friend for almost forty years.  It had been decades wince we saw each other. What a joy to share our memories while catching up with life now.  She, like many expats, has made San Miguel her home.  

Year after year Travel and Leisure names San Miguel de Allende one of the best places to retire.  Though stunning, warm, and inviting, the cobblestones alone, not to mention the hilly landscape, are a deterrent as a retirement destination for me.  Even so, it is easy to see the happiness of so many retired individuals. 

While in San Miguel, thanks to Annie, we had a wonderful time sitting on porches and balconies, catching up while city life passed by.  She created an amazing trip for us.  We saw markets, architecture, historical churches, art galleries, resorts, and flora and fauna.  We were all exhausted with the wealth of activities.  The food and drinks were delicious, and laugher was our soundtrack.  

I am so grateful for my wonderful friends, near and far.  It makes for a rich life, indeed.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • Reconnect with friends, especially those with whom you can laugh.  It’s always a joy when laughter is shared in our relationships. 
  • As the weather gets warmer, sit outside to people watch, read a book, or just enjoy the scenery.
  • Rub your hands together until the palms are warm, then place them on tired eyes, on your heart or belly.  It can be a self-soothing act.  

Mexico City, Week Sixteen in the No Longer New Abnormal

Posted on by
1

Mexico City, Week Seventeen in the No Longer New Abnormal


Mexico City, what a vast and varied metropolis.  The weather is perfect, cool mornings and warm afternoons with the sun shining.  Though our time here is short, and I won’t have a chance to visit more than two museums, the Anthropology Museum and the Frida Kahlo house.  Two spectacular museums from very different eras.  I got lost in a large park yesterday enjoying the sculptures and the paths leading me out about a mile from my destination.  There’s something so fun about losing my way and finding new people and places to enjoy. 

 

 

 


The fruits and vegetables have been fresh and delicious. In fact most of the food here has been prepared with a love and pride of centuries of tradition.  Each neighborhood feels distinct, and each block can vary within any given neighborhood.  It is a spectacle for my eyes.


It also happens to be one of the most hospitable cities I’ve visited.  Going on vacation, especially when it’s been delayed, and being treated so well only adds to the specialness of this time away.  Though we still have much to see before we leave, I’m grateful to be here, so close to home yet worlds away. 




“

 

Self-Care Tips:

  • If and when you get lost, try to look for something unexpected that can add a bright note as you find your way back to where you want to be.
  • Be adventurous.  You don’t have to go away to stretch yourself by trying something new, whether it’s a new spice or a different genre of music than you usually listen to.
  • Find the humor.  It seems so many are having a hard time of it these days.  Any small amount of levity can lift up our spirits. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Don’t Wanna! Week Fifteen in the No Longer new Abnormal

Posted on by
2

“Almost everything will work if you unplug it for a few minutes….including you.”  -Anne Lamott-”  

There are some days that I just don’t want to do anything.  And if I have to do something it can feel particularly labored.  I woke up this morning with a strong case of I don’t wanna.  I was still tired, though I received eight hours of sleep.  I was achy even though I’m stretching more given the needs of being in my mid-60s.  I was able to get away last weekend, though it now feels like it was weeks ago.  

The issue for me is that there is a lot to get done.  The challenge is to break it down into what has to get done today as opposed to what I can do another time.     When I feel like this I try to listen.  I assume it means I need a break.  And to get that break, I am choosing to do less today.  

With that in mind, I will share more pictures taken earlier this week, and I will write less now.  

Self-Care Tips:  

  • When you have the belabored feeling that “it’s all too much,” see if you can take a short break.  When we’re feeling overwhelmed, a break can feel counterintuitive, but in actuality it can allow you to move forward with a new willingness.
  • Don’t underestimate the power of small steps forward.  Our minds often think in “all or nothing” ways rather than taking little actions that can create lasting changes.  
  • Enjoy the solar eclipse with safe eyewear wherever you are in its path.  

Chasing Cherry Blossoms, Week Fourteen in the No Longer New Abnormal

Posted on by
Reply

I made a trip to DC this weekend.  I was going to visit family, see a musical, get to the National Portrait Gallery and enjoy the cherry blossoms.  I was able to enjoy time with my family and see a most wonderful show at Arena Stage Theater.  Bu it turns out the Cherry Blossoms were premature this year due to the warmer winter months.  I thought I was early enough but that was not the case.  I saw trees with waning petals, the best in Takoma Park, MD.  But the city failed to provide me with the simple joy of full flowered trees wherever I went.  

My first sighting was while on a speeding train due south.  It looked promising on the bank of a river.  Once in the city limits, I got to my hotel room and ran out to ensure the best viewing possible.  Instead, they mostly alluded me.  I was able to spot a few here and there.  I walked the length of the mall to see what I could find.  There was one cropping which was filled with a crowd, mostly posing under and close to the trees.  Apparently a lot of people were visiting the capitol for the love of cherry blossoms.  

Though the cherry blossoms were disappointing for the most part, it turned into a game and each time I saw a flowering tree I got excited.  A made-up game, similar to those I played as a child.  The real thrill was seeing my in-laws who I haven’t seen in years.  They had changed and at the same time were very much the same in a comforting way that comes from familiarity.  Their garden is the product of love.  Their home, filled with beautiful artwork, was good to see again after too much time had passed.  Then, last evening was a true gift.  The Unknown Soldier, a stunning musical with beautifully woven threads composed by Michael Friedman, is a rich, nuanced show with an outstanding cast.  Though I didn’t see it when it premiered in New York City at Playwright’s Horizon, it was wonderful to enjoy in in DC.  

Outside the theater as light raindrops suddenly and unexpectedly arrived, an errant cherry blossom landed in my hair.  My weekend was complete.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • Create a game for yourself this Spring of finding and naming flowers as you go about your activities.  
  • When you have an unfulfilled expectation, try to balance disappointment with discovery of hidden gifts.  It’s important you don’t deny your feelings.  But equally important that your disappointment doesn’t obscure something agreeable.  
  • If you’ve been meaning to call, write or visit someone, reach out.  We more often regret what we haven’t done rather than the actions we take.  

Quiet Please, Week Thirteen in the No Longer New Abnormal

Posted on by
6

It was a quiet day.  Not the reading a book while sipping tea on a rainy-day type of quiet. It was quiet because I wasn’t plugged into a device.  The TV was not on.  The quiet came from not connecting my phone to my earbuds to listen to a book, a podcast or music.  It’s even quiet now as I’m writing this.  Lucy, who is asleep next to me isn’t even snoring.  She must be enjoying the quiet, too.  

It’s rare that I’m not listening or talking when walking.  While walking in the rain there were few  pedestrians, keeping the sound low even on city streets.  Since my days are full of sounds, both cacophonous and melodic, I took note when I realized I had not continued listening to my book. Currently it’s the bold, beautiful Lessons for Survival, written and read by Emily Raboteau.  She cares so deeply about our planet and our neglected populations, and her passion is contagious.  Nor had I chosen between the two albums I’ve been enjoying, Natalie Douglas’s new “Back to the Garden,” as well as Rhiannon Giddens most recent “You’re the One.”  I went to both concerts and listening to their most recent music with their gorgeous voices has been joyful.  

Nonetheless, it was not the day for that.  I think I needed the quiet.  There was a peacefulness in the quiet.  A rare experience of peace with so much going on in the world that is anything but peaceful.  In the city, as vibrant as it is, would rarely be describe as peaceful or quiet.  I think that is what made it so special. Sometimes an unplanned divergence from our routines can be a very special gift.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • Switch up your routine.  You may find reading or viewing something different teaches you something you didn’t know about yourself or others.  
  • If you prefer the quiet, listen to music to open up new neuropathways.  If you are usually listening to something or have the TV on in the background, turn them off to experience something different.  Notice what you feel in the quiet.  
  • Get to know the music of Rhiannon Giddens.  It’s so varied.  Or listen to the award-winning Natalie Douglas.  Her voice is golden.  Both have a range of styles.  

Not Boring, Week Ten in the No Longer New Abnormal

Posted on by
1

As a psychotherapist I’ve noticed that so many people in and out of my office will say, “I know this is boring, but…”  Traditionally therapists don’t respond, we only listen.  I’m more interactive, so I respond to the statement that they think what they have to say is boring.  I’m curious.  I don’t find what they tell me boring. But I want to know how they see it themselves.  The subject matter is secondary to their perceptions and experiences of living their lives.  I am fascinated by that.  Luckily my profession affords me to privilege of hearing their insights and opinions regarding their lives.  

I can relate to the idea that what I have to say is boring.  In fact, week after week in writing this blog I tend to stress over what I’m writing, then subsequently judging myself and my writing.  I still write the piece figuring it may be boring for some and that’s the fate of putting something out there.  It is perhaps even more true now that I am getting ready to publish my first book, In the Time of Coronavirus, Looking at the Past for a Joyous Future.  It is a compilation of blog posts from the pandemic.  

I’ve always wanted to write a book.  And when a book I was working on about courage hit a wall, I decided to pivot and publish this book at the prodding of others.  I will return to the courage book, as finishing it will be an act of courage in its own right.  

In the meantime, I’m working on all the backroom details that have to get done to sell a book.  I don’t like it.  And, yes, I find it either stressful or boring, but necessary, nonetheless.  So, I take walks, go to the theater, work, and enjoy small moments of grace to insert joy throughout the process.  And when I’m stressed, I find solace in all that is boring.  Boring is a gift.  I used to think all things boring was a problem when I was younger.  No more.  In both my personal and professional lives, boring is anything but.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • Enjoy a gratitude practice for anything you perceive as boring.  Be grateful that life is providing a break from the hard stuff. 
  • If you find something boring, tighten your focus and see if you can identify the small changes that take place.  When driving it could be the music you’re listening to or the changes in the clouds.  Focus on anything that shifts boredom to interest. 
  • Rather than simply listening to, reading or watching those who have the same opinions and world views, listen, watch or observe with curiosity something or someone who sees things differently.  Make sure to see if you can learn something rather than dismissing it right away.  

A Trip to the Garden, Week Eight of the No Longer New Abnormal

Posted on by
3

There’s nothing like a flower show in the middle of a cold winter to warm our souls.  That was my thinking as I embarked on the member preview of the Orchid Show at the New York Botanical Garden in the Bronx.  My plan was to get there early so I could get in and out and home for work.  I walked in the chilly weather to the subway where I got on the number 5 subway to Bedford Avenue.  However, it was the number 4 train that I needed, so I had to reroute, getting off at the Grand Concourse and then settling in for a 45-minute ride to the Garden via the Bx 19 bus.  This was an hour detour in total, getting me to the Garden with the throngs of people who also wanted to enjoy the tropical flowers.  

I made the decision to return via Metro North getting off at 42nd Street, but first I had to winnow my way through unwieldy Instagram photographers and flower gawkers.  Even when I politely said excuse me, as I wanted to get away from the heavily-clothed crowd and make my train back to the city, I was greeted by annoying responses.  They were irritated that I’d want to pass them, and had something to say to me.  

There were a few narrow openings, and I made my way past the hot house , thus able to escape in time for my train back to the city.  As gorgeous as the flowers are, I will return on an early weekday when there is less of a rush, and I can quietly enjoy the annual oasis.  

There was a time I would have been so hard on myself for getting on the wrong train, dealing with the crowds, and generally making mistakes.  I would have been judgmental of the cantankerous flower gawkers. I still have my moments, but I was not hard on myself. Nor was I angry with the unwanted commentary.   I simply learned for the next time.  And I enjoyed my bus ride, getting to see parts of the city I don’t normally see.  Age, mediation, and therapy have all been helpful in being kinder to myself and more accepting of others.  Though I spent less time with the flowers than I had planned, I received other unexpected gifts.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • Bring a flower home or go out to see flowers where you can.  Photos can also do the trick.  As we get through the rest of this winter, flowers do brighten the darker days.  Trader Joes has terrific prices on flowers.  You can gift or get amaryllis bulbs in wax online. Like at Tulip World.  
  • Do a kindness mediation.  Sharon Salzberg has wonderful Loving Kindness mediations.  10% Happier also has a terrific selection of kindness meditations.  Or find one online.  
  • Attend to your feet.  Sometimes a nice body or foot cream massaged into your feet can be a simple, caring act. 

A Terrific Show, Week Six in the No Longer New Abnormal

Posted on by
Reply

“Don’t wait for people to tell you who you are.  Show them. “ 

Laura Benanti

I just came home from seeing Audible Theater’s production of Nobody Cares, written and performed by Laura Benanti.  She is a singular talent.  Before the show there were a bevy of celebrities in the audience including Patti Lupone, Sarah Bareiles, and Larry Owens.  They came to enjoy an evening featuring their colleague and friend.  

I laughed aloud when I wasn’t deeply moved by Laura Benanti’s honesty and vulnerability.  She mentions her therapist in the show, and I was honestly jealous that I’m not her therapist.  Although, perhaps, in that case, I wouldn’t have been at the theater for what turned out to be a delightful experience.  

There are only three performances before it’s mastered for Audible.  You can hear it as an Audible production.  And, though I enjoyed the visuals of the show, I will absolutely purchase the Audible version. No doubt I’ll get looks when I’m laughing aloud listening to the recorded version on one of my walks.  

While I was downtown there were long lines to get into the comedy club around the corner from the theater. The restaurants were packed, and the streets were full of visitors experiencing the Greenwich Village lifestyle, if only for a night.  

The city offers so much, and for tonight it was the incomparable Laura Benanti.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • Go for a walk while the sun is out.  The days have been gloomy and it’s impacted our moods.  Take in all the vitamin D you can and notice the difference.  
  • Laugh.  Whether you look at New Yorker cartoons, watch silly videos, or turn on an old sitcom, there is nothing like laughter to break up the stress.  
  • Enjoy soup in this cold weather.  Make your own or buy one you like.  Warm soup can be so comforting. 

USPS, Week Five in the No Longer New Abnormal

Posted on by
Reply

“To write is human, to receive a letter: Divine!”
― Susan Lendroth

Yesterday evening I dropped a card off at the midtown east post office.  I was late in sending it and the post office was close to my plans for the evening.  For years I’ve passed by the public sculpture out front.  But I didn’t expect sculptures inside the post office.  It was a nice surprise.  

I love when life throws a curve ball and I’m there to catch it.  It’s a rare occasion. Yet every so often, like last night, I was able to enjoy some unexpected art.  I shouldn’t have been surprised.  The artwork of the stamps have become more beautiful as time has passed.  Long gone are the days of blue rolls of five cent George Washington portraits.  

I recently purchased a sheet of RGB stamps.  But that’s just the tip of the iceberg.  My current favorites are the 2024 love stamp, the waterfalls, the deco style railroad stations stamps, the most recent Hanukkah stamp, marine sanctuary stamps, and women’s rowing team stamps.  The designs are easy inspiration to send cards through the mail.  There’s nothing like getting a handwritten note among the bills and junk mail.  Snail mail may be old school, but sometimes something old school brings new surprises. 

Self-Care Tips:

  • Look for art in unexpected places.  Whether you’re in a post-office, a park, a mall, or simply walking around, enjoy it where you can.  
  • Go to USPS.com and purchase stamps that you like.  It will make sending mail more fun.
  • Send a card to a friend or family member.  They will appreciate it.