Category Archives: Winning

Good People, Weeek Thirty-Eight in the No Longer New Abnormal

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During the pandemic I started listening to Glennon Doyle’s podcast.  I truly enjoy her honest and funny stories that entertain and invite us to challenge ourselves and grow.  I don’t have a direct quote, but she said at one point that when she started her podcast she spoke to each individual, understanding their importance, even when others were telling her she had to grow her audience.  I come back to that again and again as others in the publishing industry and related fields, give a hundred different ways to grow an audience.  These suggestions and tips require time, sometimes soft selling, and more often than not, money.  What is not mentioned is that bigger may be good for sales of my book, but it is not always better for me.  Helm

For example, I had a most wonderful experience this week.  My local Barnes & Noble was kind enough to host a reading of my book In the Time of Coronavirus, Reflecting on the Past to Create a Joyful Future.  It’s a smaller branch with limited space for a reading.  I posted on social media, but did not do a blitz campaign.   Larry, my husband, also, thoughtfully posted on Facebook.  I was hesitant to post more given the limited space.  Many people could not make it but were so caring to send well-wishes.  I came to the event, a bit nervous since I’m not a public speaker and tend to fumble when reading.  As it turned out each and every person who attended the intimate event was special to me.  It meant so much that they personally were there.  The questions were thoughtful, the response was supportive.  It was deeply gratifying to see and enjoy their company at something that meant a lot to me.  

An experience like that is rare.  I remember my dear friend, no longer with us, Michael DePrisco, who hosted an amazing 21st birthday party for me.  He went above and beyond to invite friends from my past and present.  He found a baker to create a special cake so I could enjoy it despite whatever crazy diet I was on for the moment. He hosted it at one of my favorite Philadelphia restaurants. The party was so special.  But I was stuck on friends who didn’t come.  It was hard to for me appreciate who was there.  I am so grateful that in the over forty years since then I could learn that what is in front of us is more important than what ideas we made up in our heads.  I’m sad that because I was stuck on those absent I was not as good a friend to Michael as he deserved.  

Each person who came to the book reading took time out of busy schedules.  They bought books, they gave their undivided attention when they could have been anywhere else.  I am so grateful for that level of kindness and generosity.  My book may never become a best seller.  Or, it may despite my lack of “building a platform.” But doing this reading and hearing responses has been an ongoing gift orfrecognizing the specialness in those I know and love.  

Self-Help Tips:

  • Close or cover one eye and notice what you see and what that perspective is.  Now switch eyes.  Notice the differences. What changes when you switch eyes?  Now look through both eyes.  See if you can recognize an expanded view.  
  • Take a moment following an interaction or a get-together.  What are you feeling?  What do you notice about yourself?  Sometimes we are not able to see who nourishes us, or what situations are best for us.  An interaction may be challenging, but we can feel empowered following the exchange. Conversely, we can think someone is “nice” but afterwards we are critical of ourselves or feel bad about ourselves in some way, indicating that person may not be as good for us as we had thought.  
  • By simply putting our forks or spoons down while tasting and chewing our food, we automatically slow down and create greater conscious dining.  
  • Pick up a signed copy of In the Time of Coronavirus at the Upper Eastside at Third Ave and 87th St.  Or, purchase it online for more than two hundred self-care tips and more. 

I Made it to Ireland, Week Thirty-Three in the No Longer New Abnormal

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I first started reading Roddy Doyle’s books as a young adult.  I can’t remember if my sister, Sharyn ,recommended on of them, or if the movie The Commitments came out and I became an instant fan of his.  Either way, his writing along with other authors such as Frank McCourt, Maeve Binchy, and Edna O’Brian had me long to visit Ireland. 
 
After a good many decades I made it here.   That is where I am as I write this in a hotel in beautiful Killarney Town.  Today as we drove around the Ring of Kerry seeing spectacular views on one of the few clear and sunny days, my breath was taken away again and again.  Even tonight, I was able to enjoy my first Irish sunset.  Previous nights the clouds obscured any variation in color.  Gray was the prominent hue throughout.  
 
So, rather than tell you about this trip, which has been delightful throughout, I am sharing some pictures from my phone wielding photo app.  
 
Thanks for taking the time to see a snippet of what I saw.  
 
Self-Care Tips:
Enjoy reading or listening to a Roddy Doyle novel.  Funny & moving.  
Find a version of “Danny Boy” that you favor.  Here is one blog with a number of versions:  http://21essays.blogspot.com/2013/01/ten-great-recordings-of-danny-boy.html
Think of books, music, and art that have influenced choices you’ve made in your life.  It could be travel, recipes, occupations, friends, or anything else.  Always important to see how the arts affirm us and change us.  
 

Facing Obstacles, Week Thirty-One in the No Longer New Abnornal

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This morning things did not go as planned.  I could not find my luggage scale for a vacation organized for next week.  It wasn’t in the usual places, so I did a deeper dive with no luck.  Next, I attempted to send emails, and had to restart my computer.  I wasn’t able to find my to-do list I wrote in the wee hours last night so I could check off tasks one at a time.  It showed up, but it meant I got a later start.  Of course, there are some days like this.  I’ll do what I can today and let go of the rest.  What I do know is that I plan to see women’s gymnastics trials on TV tonight.  I’m looking forward to it.  

I’m not sure what Olympians do when things don’t work out well at any given time. Of course, there’s no comparison between a quotidian day as opposed to training and performing in competitive sports as an elite athlete.  But it is certain that whatever they go through they transcend limitations to perform their best when required.  That is only part of what is so inspiring about watching the best of the best.  I was moved to see the boats down the Seine with each country’s athletic representatives.  It took so much for them to make it to this moment.  And, they all deserve our respect for their commitment to excellence.  That was only topped off when Celine Dion, who has had so many hard days while tackling stiff person syndrome, sang with power and poise. 

Watching the Olympics reminds me of the human capacity to obtain our dreams if we work hard and keep our eye on our goals, always remembering why we want to reach our aspirations.  So, when we face obstacles small and large, we can process them on our way to our main objectives.  Whether that’s producing a blog post, or most importantly these weeks, competing for a place on the podium wearing a metal, let us learn and grow so we can prevail.  

 Self-Care Tips:

  • When we face obstacles, take a moment to see if that means going in another direction, pausing before starting up again, or powering through.  There is not one way to handle challenges.  But we can all benefit from having patience and being kind while assessing the choices.  
  • Be awed and inspired by watching the Olympics.  
  • Find a sport you usually don’t watch just to see how other athletes perform.  

Mexico City, Week Sixteen in the No Longer New Abnormal

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Mexico City, Week Seventeen in the No Longer New Abnormal


Mexico City, what a vast and varied metropolis.  The weather is perfect, cool mornings and warm afternoons with the sun shining.  Though our time here is short, and I won’t have a chance to visit more than two museums, the Anthropology Museum and the Frida Kahlo house.  Two spectacular museums from very different eras.  I got lost in a large park yesterday enjoying the sculptures and the paths leading me out about a mile from my destination.  There’s something so fun about losing my way and finding new people and places to enjoy. 

 

 

 


The fruits and vegetables have been fresh and delicious. In fact most of the food here has been prepared with a love and pride of centuries of tradition.  Each neighborhood feels distinct, and each block can vary within any given neighborhood.  It is a spectacle for my eyes.


It also happens to be one of the most hospitable cities I’ve visited.  Going on vacation, especially when it’s been delayed, and being treated so well only adds to the specialness of this time away.  Though we still have much to see before we leave, I’m grateful to be here, so close to home yet worlds away. 




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Self-Care Tips:

  • If and when you get lost, try to look for something unexpected that can add a bright note as you find your way back to where you want to be.
  • Be adventurous.  You don’t have to go away to stretch yourself by trying something new, whether it’s a new spice or a different genre of music than you usually listen to.
  • Find the humor.  It seems so many are having a hard time of it these days.  Any small amount of levity can lift up our spirits. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Live Music, The Seventh Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

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The power of music, particularly music that is performed with great love and skill can be transformative.  This past week I was fortunate enough to attend two live concerts, very different styles, but very similar intentions of sharing joy through their performances.  

The first performance, Wednesday night took place at The Cutting Room, a midtown concert hall with a storied history.  Felicia Collins, the lead guitarist and singer owned the stage.  I knew her through Larry.  She was guitarist and vocalist of the Paul Shaffer Band on The David Letterman Show.  She continues to play.  And we were fortunate enough to enjoy her concert celebrating the music of Sly and the Family Stone.  She resurrected the messages of inclusion and connectivity for which the band was well known.  Felicia and her amazingly talented band, ThrowDown, covered Sly and the Family Stone hits.  What a wonderful throwback.  Lessons still to be realized from the late 60s.  

Then on Thursday I was at the 92nd St Y.  An Upper Eastside institution, they have a concert hall, in which they host talks, special events and concerts.  I had the utter privilege of enjoying Kelli O’Hara sing the night away.  She was awesome.  And, as if from the heavens she sang with the extraordinary John Holiday.  The evening was transcendent. 

Both artists, Felicia and Kelli, are gifted.  But add to those gifts the years of disciplined practice and performance expanding their gifts from personal to generously shared on world stages.  They are two of the few, compared to the population at large, who work hard to make the very most of innate talent.  We are forever grateful.  

Between those two incredible performances we had the benefit of entering a taxi with a driver who was amazing.  He didn’t sing.  I never found out if he could.  But he was so polite and warm that his simple presence felt like an art.  

Whether there’s music made with love or conversation made of dignity, we all tap into our better selves when we are in the company of the best of humanity.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • If you’re able to attend a live concert of music that communicates love, joy, or connection, go.  It will uplift you.  If you are unable to see a live concert, try YouTube.  I suggest Judy Garland singing with Barbra Streisand, but feel free to choose what you like.  
  • When you encounter someone who is genuinely kind and caring, take a moment to appreciate how that impacts you.  If you’re able and willing, acknowledge them with a thank you.
  • Clean out your sock drawer.  Feel free to give away tight socks, throw out or reuse as dusters socks with holes, and see what socks you had forgotten but might like to wear again.  It’s easy, doesn’t take too long, and gives us a feeling of accomplishment.  

Marathon Weekend, Week Forty-Five in the New Abnormal

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The streets are brimming with runners.  It’s the first November weekend, which means daylight-savings-time along with the New York City Marathon.  Friday, while walking through Central Park, I came across a rally.  It was a celebration of all the countries represented in the marathon.  There were flags and delegates from 140 nations.  

            While I was passing, hearing countries being called out on the loudspeaker from Ecuador to Japan, I saw the proud representatives take in the cheers from others who had come half-way around the globe.  It was peaceful.  It was celebratory.  It suggested to me the very real possibility of getting along, no matter where one resides, or how different others might live their lives.  These are runners, and supporters of runners.  Each person wants to do their best.  They have trained and are ready to traverse New York City’s five boroughs.  

            I will be on the sideline, cheering my friends, and those I know, and shouting encouragement to those I will only see for a few short seconds.  Viewing the marathon is awe inspiring.  For most marathoners, running 26.2 miles is not easy.  But they’re game and they do their best.  There’s a courage in being inclined to make such a commitment.  I call it the courage of Yes.  They entered the lottery from a position of willingness.  They trained for months because of that willingness.  And now they are implementing a new courage.  The courage of grit.  

            Grit means giving one’s all, whatever it takes.  No one is compromising someone else.  Everyone is running together in harmony towards a personal goal known to each runner.  That takes determination.  That takes grit.  Witnessing the runners giving their all step by step, mile by mile, is truly inspiring.  It inspires us to be more generous.  It inspires good will.  All in all, it inspires the best in all of us.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • Choose a small task.  It can be cleaning the bathroom, doing homework, organizing the sock drawer ,or anything else.  See if you can purposely focus.  As you do the task add a little positive intention.  This is a modest sample of grit.  
  • Find something that you’d really like to do that is out of your comfort zone or is something new to you.  See if you can commit to doing it, or if you can take a first step towards doing it.  This is a small example of the courage of Yes.
  • If you’re in New York City, try to come out to see the runners, even for a very short time.  You will be inspired.  If you’re not here, watch a snippet on tv.  Or watch a sport in which the players give their all.  Take in their commitment to excellence for a dose of inspiration.  

Awards, Week Thirteen in the New Normal

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Though award shows don’t hold the same cache as they did in my childhood, this weekend is the Academy Awards.  Fraught with politics and self-promotion, the awards have lost some of their shimmer.  Yet, while growing up I wrote and rewrote my acceptance speeches.  It was my fantasy of ultimate success.  If I felt insignificant or hurt, my bright future would prove to the world I was somebody.  My bullies would see I was special.  That was my secret revenge.  

I can tell you that the bullies probably don’t remember me, even though that cruelty is etched in every child who was ever bullied.  Children who’ve been bullied often have a significant fantasy life.  Mine, like a cliché, was a girl singing show tunes into my brush handle in front of the mirror.  Thank goodness for my RCA portable record player.  It got me through some rough school years.  

Now, I’m ages away from those award-winning dreams.  But I do find something meaningful in rewarding ourselves for the wins in our lives.  And even if it’s not a public speech, acknowledging those who have been supportive are important to recognize, too.  We enjoy celebrations during our milestones, like graduations and special birthdays.  Perhaps we can find a way to receive an award when we go above and beyond, instituting courage to gain a win.  It can be small.  It’s simply a nod for our personal wins.  We can get stickers, or a new kitchen utensil.  Calling a friend and sharing in our happiness multiplies the joy.  It gives us a chance to say we matter.  And we do.  

If you choose to watch Wanda Sykes, Regina Hall and Amy Schumer host this year’s Oscars, have fun. Perhaps enjoying the show can be a reward in itself.  If I can stay up I will think of my younger self.  Though now I have little interest in a red carpet, I’m simply satisfied to watch from my living room chair.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • Write a list of what you’ve accomplished, big and small, this week.  Draw a star or a symbol next to each to congratulate yourself for a job well-done.  
  • Create a thank you speech for those who have been good to you over the years.  If possible, send them the written speech so they can know they made a difference.  
  • Don’t forget to put on some music and do a happy dance.  If you want to do that in front of the mirror, go for it.  

Something for Nothing

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I am easily seduced. Obtaining a bargain, or being given the possibility to win something is an easy hook. But now, after years of winning nothing of substance, I am on email lists for any number of companies who want my business. Most of the emails get deleted without a second glance. On the one hand, I have a Pollyanna view of life, hopeful that things will turn out. On the other hand, I’m a sucker. I want something for nothing. And the something I get is an overabundance of emails luring me to go on vacations, acquire luxury products, or donate to another crowd-funding start-up.

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This is nothing new. My father has always loved a good deal. He chose his present home, a two-story town house in an over-50 community because it was priced to sell. A Pollyanna himself, he didn’t figure in stairs as a deterrent for a couple in their 80s. While growing up he always brought home dented appliances because of their low price tag, while my mother scoffed at the impaired item. No matter how much my mother begged him to buy at a regular store, he couldn’t stop himself from scouring the off-brand warehouses popular in the 60s & 70s.

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And, so, in my father’s footsteps I get excited when I see that I could win a trip to Tahiti, or win a shopping spree on a site that probably doesn’t accommodate for my curves or my age. I did stop myself from purchasing a membership to the Oprah Club. The ad promised free give-aways and deep discounts. As much as I love to get something for free, I decided that the price of the club wasn’t worth it.

Nonetheless, I have spent more time than I’d like to admit filling out surveys for a chance to be entered into a special drawing for one thing or another. I did win a free bag and a $25 gift card to Trader Joes once. But it wasn’t because I entered anything, I merely brought my own bags for shopping and was entered into their drawing. I like Trader Joe’s because they always have great prices even though it’s not a discount store. And, since I always bring my own bags for shopping, I can enter the drawing with the hope of winning another $25 gift card.

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But no more online contests. Luckily my Dad doesn’t own a computer. So my parents dodged this bullet.   And now now I’m spending my time unsubscribing from email lists. I don’t want the temptation of a big win to get in the way of living my life. My time is dear. I can use it enjoying what I already have.