During the pandemic I started listening to Glennon Doyle’s podcast.  I truly enjoy her honest and funny stories that entertain and invite us to challenge ourselves and grow.  I don’t have a direct quote, but she said at one point that when she started her podcast she spoke to each individual, understanding their importance, even when others were telling her she had to grow her audience.  I come back to that again and again as others in the publishing industry and related fields, give a hundred different ways to grow an audience.  These suggestions and tips require time, sometimes soft selling, and more often than not, money.  What is not mentioned is that bigger may be good for sales of my book, but it is not always better for me.  Helm

For example, I had a most wonderful experience this week.  My local Barnes & Noble was kind enough to host a reading of my book In the Time of Coronavirus, Reflecting on the Past to Create a Joyful Future.  It’s a smaller branch with limited space for a reading.  I posted on social media, but did not do a blitz campaign.   Larry, my husband, also, thoughtfully posted on Facebook.  I was hesitant to post more given the limited space.  Many people could not make it but were so caring to send well-wishes.  I came to the event, a bit nervous since I’m not a public speaker and tend to fumble when reading.  As it turned out each and every person who attended the intimate event was special to me.  It meant so much that they personally were there.  The questions were thoughtful, the response was supportive.  It was deeply gratifying to see and enjoy their company at something that meant a lot to me.  

An experience like that is rare.  I remember my dear friend, no longer with us, Michael DePrisco, who hosted an amazing 21^st birthday party for me.  He went above and beyond to invite friends from my past and present.  He found a baker to create a special cake so I could enjoy it despite whatever crazy diet I was on for the moment. He hosted it at one of my favorite Philadelphia restaurants. The party was so special.  But I was stuck on friends who didn’t come.  It was hard to for me appreciate who was there.  I am so grateful that in the over forty years since then I could learn that what is in front of us is more important than what ideas we made up in our heads.  I’m sad that because I was stuck on those absent I was not as good a friend to Michael as he deserved.  

Each person who came to the book reading took time out of busy schedules.  They bought books, they gave their undivided attention when they could have been anywhere else.  I am so grateful for that level of kindness and generosity.  My book may never become a best seller.  Or, it may despite my lack of “building a platform.” But doing this reading and hearing responses has been an ongoing gift orfrecognizing the specialness in those I know and love.  

Self-Help Tips:

• Close or cover one eye and notice what you see and what that perspective is.  Now switch eyes.  Notice the differences. What changes when you switch eyes?  Now look through both eyes.  See if you can recognize an expanded view.  
• Take a moment following an interaction or a get-together.  What are you feeling?  What do you notice about yourself?  Sometimes we are not able to see who nourishes us, or what situations are best for us.  An interaction may be challenging, but we can feel empowered following the exchange. Conversely, we can think someone is “nice” but afterwards we are critical of ourselves or feel bad about ourselves in some way, indicating that person may not be as good for us as we had thought.  
• By simply putting our forks or spoons down while tasting and chewing our food, we automatically slow down and create greater conscious dining.  
• Pick up a signed copy of In the Time of Coronavirus at the Upper Eastside at Third Ave and 87^th St.  Or, purchase it online for more than two hundred self-care tips and more.