Parts of Ourselves, Week Seven in the No Longer New Abnormal

“Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent” Victor Hugo

Yesterday I was in sweats, my hair, stiff, frizzy, and dry while getting paperwork done in-between laundry loads.  Nothing glamorous about the day.  I was comfortable and perhaps a bit tired from a late night.  The late night was very unexpected.  I had a subscription to the New York Pops at Carnegie Hall.  It has turned out to be a marvelous series.  On Friday night I, along with a sold-out house, thoroughly enjoyed an evening of Gershwin music featuring the vocalist, Montego Glover and the pianist, Lee Musiker.  

I sat enthralled when Lee Musiker played the piano for a Rhapsody in Blue, newly interpreted for this performance.  Our seats gave us a perfect view of his hands dancing on the keyboard as he reinterpreted this classis piece.  It was magical.  I had seen him play before, and have always been impressed, but this was something beyond that.  

Much to my surprise a friend of a friend invited us backstage and then to a reception following the concert. Maestro Musiker’s sister had flown up from Florida to hear her brother perform, and I had just met her briefly at Carnegie Hall.   Everyone backstage and at the reception was warm and friendly. They were music lover after all.  

The two days, Friday and Saturday couldn’t have been more opposite.  On the one hand, on Friday night I was in the company of the best of the best in music, Steven Reineke, a charismatic and highly talented conductor, Montego Glover, a renowned vocalist, and the Grammy & Emmy  award winning pianist, Lee Musiker, who was beyond gracious.  Being an audience member of the exceptional concert was extraordinary.  Then to see the artists up close and in-person was incomparable.  

In contrast to Friday night, I woke up exhausted but content on Saturday.  I knew I had a lot on my plate for the weekend and I set out to do the chores that I neither welcomed nor relished but had to get done.  So, without fanfare, I dutifully took care of my chores while in my sweats basking in the memory of the previous evening.

Self-Care Tips:

  • When you’re faced with unwanted tasks, think of something you’re looking forward to that will get you through.  Or think of something you have previously enjoyed.  It makes the chore more tolerable.  
  • There are great recordings and videos of Gershwin classics online.  Give yourself a treat and listen to the music of an American Master.  Try:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cH2PH0auTUU
  • Enjoy the Puppy Bowl 2024 today on Animal Planet or Discovery.  

A Terrific Show, Week Six in the No Longer New Abnormal

“Don’t wait for people to tell you who you are.  Show them. “ 

Laura Benanti

I just came home from seeing Audible Theater’s production of Nobody Cares, written and performed by Laura Benanti.  She is a singular talent.  Before the show there were a bevy of celebrities in the audience including Patti Lupone, Sarah Bareiles, and Larry Owens.  They came to enjoy an evening featuring their colleague and friend.  

I laughed aloud when I wasn’t deeply moved by Laura Benanti’s honesty and vulnerability.  She mentions her therapist in the show, and I was honestly jealous that I’m not her therapist.  Although, perhaps, in that case, I wouldn’t have been at the theater for what turned out to be a delightful experience.  

There are only three performances before it’s mastered for Audible.  You can hear it as an Audible production.  And, though I enjoyed the visuals of the show, I will absolutely purchase the Audible version. No doubt I’ll get looks when I’m laughing aloud listening to the recorded version on one of my walks.  

While I was downtown there were long lines to get into the comedy club around the corner from the theater. The restaurants were packed, and the streets were full of visitors experiencing the Greenwich Village lifestyle, if only for a night.  

The city offers so much, and for tonight it was the incomparable Laura Benanti.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • Go for a walk while the sun is out.  The days have been gloomy and it’s impacted our moods.  Take in all the vitamin D you can and notice the difference.  
  • Laugh.  Whether you look at New Yorker cartoons, watch silly videos, or turn on an old sitcom, there is nothing like laughter to break up the stress.  
  • Enjoy soup in this cold weather.  Make your own or buy one you like.  Warm soup can be so comforting. 

The Arts, The Forty-Ninth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

I’m sitting here watching Barbra Streisand on PBS in her Back to Brooklyn concert.  The first time I heard her voice was in 1968 when the movie Funny Girl came out.  I was enthralled, though I wouldn’t have known that word as an eight-year-old.  Since then I’ve been a fan, attending her movies, and watching her tv specials.  I only had the opportunity to see her in-person once when she came back to Brooklyn in 2016.  It was magical.  

This week I had the great privilege of attending a performance of the Alvin Ailey Dance Company at City Center.  It’s been a while since I saw them last.  The powerful bodies dancing with strength and beauty is a sight to behold.  

The arts are essential.  Not only do they transform us to higher heights, but they expand our sense of self and the world.   I’ve been on a high this week after attending the dance performance.  And now, to listen to Barbra’s voice, I am in awe.  

There were a number of boring afternoons in elementary school when we went on field trips to the Philadelphia Museum.  However it piqued my curiosity about the artwork that spoke to me, like Rodin’s The Thinker, and Van Gogh’s Sunflowers.  Since then I’m an avid museum and gallery goer.  

I’m so grateful to live in one of the best cities in the world, especially when it comes to the arts.  I still get excited to attend the theater, enter a gallery, or see live music.  I believe that the eight-year-old in me finds her joy when I take her to the movies, a show, a concert, a dance performance, or an art exhibit.  And my present self joins her in joy and gratitude. 

Self-Care Tips: 

  • Watch Back to Brooklyn on PBS.  Or, if you prefer to see someone different go to YouTube or Netflix.
  • Go to a local art gallery.  If not, go to https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection to see some online Met pieces.  Or, during the pandemic art institutions worldwide created online galleries to view their art.  Choose one and see what they offer online.  
  • See if you can attend a dance performance near you.  Or, watch Revelations by Alvin Ailey here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDXerubF4I4.  

Live Music, The Seventh Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

The power of music, particularly music that is performed with great love and skill can be transformative.  This past week I was fortunate enough to attend two live concerts, very different styles, but very similar intentions of sharing joy through their performances.  

The first performance, Wednesday night took place at The Cutting Room, a midtown concert hall with a storied history.  Felicia Collins, the lead guitarist and singer owned the stage.  I knew her through Larry.  She was guitarist and vocalist of the Paul Shaffer Band on The David Letterman Show.  She continues to play.  And we were fortunate enough to enjoy her concert celebrating the music of Sly and the Family Stone.  She resurrected the messages of inclusion and connectivity for which the band was well known.  Felicia and her amazingly talented band, ThrowDown, covered Sly and the Family Stone hits.  What a wonderful throwback.  Lessons still to be realized from the late 60s.  

Then on Thursday I was at the 92nd St Y.  An Upper Eastside institution, they have a concert hall, in which they host talks, special events and concerts.  I had the utter privilege of enjoying Kelli O’Hara sing the night away.  She was awesome.  And, as if from the heavens she sang with the extraordinary John Holiday.  The evening was transcendent. 

Both artists, Felicia and Kelli, are gifted.  But add to those gifts the years of disciplined practice and performance expanding their gifts from personal to generously shared on world stages.  They are two of the few, compared to the population at large, who work hard to make the very most of innate talent.  We are forever grateful.  

Between those two incredible performances we had the benefit of entering a taxi with a driver who was amazing.  He didn’t sing.  I never found out if he could.  But he was so polite and warm that his simple presence felt like an art.  

Whether there’s music made with love or conversation made of dignity, we all tap into our better selves when we are in the company of the best of humanity.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • If you’re able to attend a live concert of music that communicates love, joy, or connection, go.  It will uplift you.  If you are unable to see a live concert, try YouTube.  I suggest Judy Garland singing with Barbra Streisand, but feel free to choose what you like.  
  • When you encounter someone who is genuinely kind and caring, take a moment to appreciate how that impacts you.  If you’re able and willing, acknowledge them with a thank you.
  • Clean out your sock drawer.  Feel free to give away tight socks, throw out or reuse as dusters socks with holes, and see what socks you had forgotten but might like to wear again.  It’s easy, doesn’t take too long, and gives us a feeling of accomplishment.  

Emotions During the Holidays, Week Fifty in the New Abnormal

I was in an emotional tailspin earlier this week.  I could tell I wasn’t in the right headspace as I kept thinking of past mistakes I’ve made, times I’ve previously hurt friends, and ways in which I had poor judgement. I was not coming out a champ.  More like a chump.  The negative barrage is not unfamiliar, but it happens less often than in former years.  By Tuesday, I knew that I needed to clear my head so there’d be space for self-care and kindness.  Luckily, I had my weekly therapy session.  

I became a therapist 25 years ago because of the help I received in therapy.  I learned a lot about myself, sometimes painfully conscious of how my choices perpetuated circumstances I had wanted to change.  Yet, year after year life got better.  So much so that I came to value mental well-being. While the descriptions of being overly sensitive in my family and social life were seen by others as detrimental traits, they are the very qualities that ensure I’m in the right field.  

My self-criticism earlier this week was important because it not only told me to continue to do the emotional, psychological, and spiritual work to be less judgmental to myself and others, but it was also a reminder of the depth of condemnation I internalized. 

As we carry on through this holiday season, we will find it imperfect.  There will be lovely moments, as there was when I walked past the Rockefeller Christmas tree late at night.  But there will be times when we’re stressed, when we feel as if we’re not enough, or when we might be disappointed with failed plans, substandard gifts, or family members acting out.  If we find we’re being hard on ourselves in those moments, perhaps we can all give ourselves the gift of benevolence.  Let’s give ourselves and others the benefit of the doubt.  We got through a pandemic, we’re still dealing with its aftermath, and there’s a big push from retailers and social media for these holidays to be fabulous.  

Let’s settle for being real rather than make believe.  There may be flaws in the realness, but there will also be true joy for accepting what is. 

Self-care tips:

  • Get a post-it pad and write “I am Enough” on as many pages as you want to post.  Put it inside your medicine cabinet, on the fridge, in your sock drawer, in your wallet.  Write it on your calendar.  Remind yourself throughout the day that yes, indeed, you are enough.  
  • Rather than trying to let things go, see if you’re able to think about letting it be.  It doesn’t mean you’re not working on it, or you’re helplessly accepting something that is bothersome, it’s just that by letting things be, we don’t have to take an immediate action.  We are not required to DO anything, which is a way of giving yourself a break.  
  • Do something for someone else that is anonymous.  It’s a gift to yourself to be happy to give freely without any need or expectation for something in return.  

Halloween Weekend, Week Forty-Four in the New Abnormal

It’s Halloween Weekend and the city is ready for the many trick or treaters at every age.  As a child of the sixties our Halloween was comprised of a trip to Kiddie City to pick out a cardboard box with a clear window displaying the plastic mask with a thin mouth opening with two nostril holes for labored breathing that allowed for a muffled song of “trick or treat” at the door of kind home-owners who distributed candy, both great and questionable.  My favorite candy were plain Hershey chocolate bars, M&Ms, Twizzlers, or Good and Plenty.  I was not a fan of the chalky Necco Wafers or boxes of raisins.  We had plenty of fruit and raisins in our home, so I was on the lookout for forbidden treats that I would hide in the back of my closet.  

I’d bring one or two treats to school a day.  If I was in junior high, then they would be confiscated from the bullies that threatened to ruin an otherwise adequate day.  Nonetheless, the feeling of being rich with sugary sweets was intoxicating. 

The other aspect of Halloween I reveled was wearing a costume.  I loved dress up, and I delighted in playing other characters.  The first time I played someone else was in a Hebrew School Purim play at age five.  Sadly, I did not make the cut for Esther, but wearing a long- haired wig, and a toga, I was one of the other wives of King Ahasuerus.  It wasn’t as fun as Halloween, but it was a solid second. 

There were very little Halloween decorations in our neighborhood growing up.  A few Autumnal pumpkins, some adventurous jack—o-lanterns, but not much more.  Even so, a good costume, from my elementary school age perspective, whether it was Casper, a Disney Princess, or a witch, was a special experience.  Walking home, hitting all the houses on the other side of the street brought heft to my papar bag, and anticipation of portioning my candy booty for the remainder of the holiday season.  It’s been a joy throughout this week to see young children in their costumes on their way to Halloween Parties, proud to represent a character near and dear to them.  

Wishing everyone a safe and Happy Halloween.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • If you’re not trick or treating, try some high-quality chocolate, one square a day.  It’s a small treat with big flavor.  
  • When someone says something that hurts you, simply ask them “Did you mean to upset me?”  it’s a way to communicate your upset without an accusation.   It will also give you information about what’s going on for them.  And they will know that they hurt you.  Of course, if they answer, “Yes,” then that gives you more information about being intentionally treated poorly, thus giving you a choice in future interactions. 
  • Relax with classical music.  We forget how impactful it is on our nervous systems.  It can soothe us when we are stressed, and lighten our mood when we feel low.  May I suggest Debussy’s Clair de Lune or Pachelbel’s Canon in D? 

Free Shakespeare in the Park

 

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On a sweltering Tuesday in August, in my first full summer as a New York City resident, I was nervous and excited about the prospect of obtaining free tickets to A Midsummer Night’s Dream at the Delacorte Theater in Central Park. The day in 1982 was hazy, and the great lawn was full of picnickers all with numbers for a place in line. I was number 26. I had gotten there so early, maybe 7 AM to ensure my audience participation. And, I was far from the first one in line. But with a coffee and an H&H bagel for breakfast, I felt well-prepared. Hour after hour of baking in the sun, I was a lucky recipient of two tickets to the show.

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The production was magnificent. Directed by James Lapine, a name I wouldn’t recognize until after the first production of Into the Woods, Shakespeare’s mystical comedy was a seamless theater piece. Before the show I spotted Kevin Kline among other stars in the V.I.P. section. As a young aspiring actress, I felt part of something.   Christine Baranski was spot on as a comedic actress. William Hurt was dreamy.

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35 years later, Larry, my husband, and I celebrated our 20th anniversary seeing the latest production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Another wonderful evening of theater, this time with the wonderful singing voice of Marcelle Davies-Lashley. Although neither Larry nor I had ever heard of her before, we’ll be following her now. And, though the entire cast did a great job, our notable favorites were the indomitable Annaleigh Ashford, plus Danny Burstein and Kristine Neilsen.

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It was so much fun to share the evening with Larry. Between our work, our parents, our kid, and life’s needs, we don’t go out even half as much as we did twenty years ago. We very much felt like a part of something as as audience members, as New Yorkers, a supporters of Free Shakespeare in the Park, and as a couple. It’s more fun to laugh together. And, for that I appreciate a good night’s theater under the stars.

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(All images are from www searches)

 

The Tony Awards

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Ever since I was in Junior High I was writing acceptance speeches for my Tony Award. It turned out later that I wouldn’t need those speeches since I was a bad actress, but I didn’t know that yet.  So I dreamed.  The first time I remember watching the Tonys, or as they were called then, The American Theater Wing Antoinette Perry Award for Excellence in Theatre, Fiddler on The Roof won. It could have been that my parents turned it on because a Jewish show was up for an award. But, I didn’t care. I loved seeing the show. It was a short award presentation, but I was hooked. In my first year of college The Tony Awards became a full special with performances from each musical. On the 20th Century won musical of the year, with the amazing Madeline Kahn. I was hesitant to see the revival this year, but I enjoyed it thoroughly   I was happy Fun House won this year even though I was awed by An American in Paris. Mostly though I’m happy for the winners no matter what my opinion. It’s their chance to read their rehearsed speeches, surprised and pleased to have won the votes by the members.

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The magic of theater is a pleasure I thoroughly enjoy. It can be a simple show, or it can be a grand production. I’m willing to go with whatever reality is created when the lights go down and I’m transported into another world. My first Broadway show was the original production of Grease in 1972. I had seen visiting shows in Philadelphia, but being on the Great White Way was the best for this preteen. The most recent Broadway show I saw was Airline Highway, a wonderful ensemble piece that closed too early. And, I will continue to attend Off-Broadway and Broadway shows because it makes me happy. I don’t need an acceptance speech to be in the audience, I just clap loudly to communicate my great appreciation of the talent I just witnessed.

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