Category Archives: Coronavirus

Fourth Quarter, Week Forty in the No Longer new Abnormal

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We are entering the last quarter of 2024.  I feel like I’m rushing to accomplish what I had intended this year.  Some things take longer than others.  I had hoped I would have been able to promote my book more, but I had so much to learn.  And some of the promotion is not for me.  Given it isn’t what I had imagined, it’s important that I am grateful for what I could do.  I am grateful for all those who supported me and the book.  And, I am grateful for the lessons I’ve learned thus far, like the fact that I prefer smaller discussions to larger presentations.  And that I don’t enjoy marketing, nor have I ever enjoyed it.  Sharing something freely and needing to sell something are very different.  

I was in sales for a number of years in my teens and early twenties.  I started by working the cash register at my father’s shoe store.  I learned quickly that the description of a job and the job itself weren’t one in the same.  Being a cashier also meant vacuuming, stocking shoes, running lunch orders, and doing inventory.  I stayed in sales at local department stores, and when I came to New York City in 1981, I worked at Bloomingdales.  It was a glamorous store where I got to see many celebrities, imaging that this tentative connection had deep meaning for my hopes to be an actress.  I did love being there, though I was not so fond of the low pay.  But being in Manhattan and close to the theater district were enthralling.  It didn’t feel like sales, but more like sharing new discoveries.  

In the 80s, Bloomingdales was a hub of activity.  Andy Warhol walking through the store with his entourage was a regular occurrence.  Meeting Liza Minelli who was shopping with her sister, Lorna Luft, was not.  Waiting on Donald Sutherland was another highlight, finding his gentle demeanor as disarming in person as on the big screen.  I also loved the special international features and displays throughout the store that promoted fashion, art, films, food, and history from whatever country was being showcased.  So when I was passing through Bloomingdales yesterday it was nice to see that they were experiencing a renaissance.  Italy was having its moment at the flagship store.  I waxed nostalgic remembering the energy of those earlier years.  Glad to see the store, at least for this moment, has gone back to its roots.  

Now while I look back on the many fortunate experiences I’ve enjoyed, I will go into the last quarter of this year to create new memories.  I’ll enjoy seeing actors on stage exercising their craft rather than shopping on their time off.  I will slowly promote my book on my terms.  And, I will appreciate working as a psychotherapist with amazing individuals, rather than as a salesperson seeing others for brief encounters.  

Self-Care Tips:  

  • Review what you’ve accomplished or learned so far this year, while thinking of what you may plan for the next three months.  
  • Slow down when possible.  It allows us to enjoy the moment even while moving forward.  
  • Remember that joy comes from feeling your feelings no matter how hard that can be.  Joy is not denying hard feelings and topping them with forced happiness.  

An Anniversary, Week Twenty-Seven in the No Longer New Abnormal

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It’s something of an irony that my and my husband’s 27th wedding anniversary is on the 27th week of this year.  I like coincidences like that.  When the stars align, I feel good all over.  Twenty-Seven years is probably the longest commitment to anything I’ve done in my life.  I like variety, so in the past I could do something for a while and then I’d move on.  I took a very different tactic for our marriage.  While Larry is someone who likes routines and enjoys what he knows, I like to try new things, preferring to being adventurous rather than staying in place.  Though we were a bit older than our contemporaries when we got married, I was 38 to Larry’s 45, we had a lot to learn about relationships, particularly long-term relationships.  

Since our respective backgrounds varied a bit, we each brought a bit of balance.  I learned to enjoy the here and now more, while Larry learned to enjoy exploring.  I expanded my love of rock & roll, bluegrass and country music.  And Larry learned to enjoy solo performers and some Broadway & off-Broadway musicals.  I learned to appreciate food on the road, while Larry eats more salads now.  The list goes on, but you get the point.  There’s give and take.  

And, because life isn’t fair, we’ve had our share of hardships.  We’ve weathered storms we weren’t sure we’d get through.  And, we’ve experienced unexpected joy, which has encouraged us to keep going.  So here we are in the 27th week of 2024, celebrating 27 years of marriage, and all that goes with it.  I’m proud of our stick-to-itedness.  It hasn’t always been easy, but it has been rewarding.  And for that I am eternally grateful.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • When we are spending time with someone who is very different than us, be curious.  See if their interests can help us to grow in any way.  
  • Celebrate pride.  Or, as an ally of LGBTQ+, show  support for all those who haven’t always had a chance to live openly proud.  
  • Hum.  Humming can be a mood lifter.  

The Half-Way Mark, Week Twenty-Six in the No Longer New Abnormal

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We are officially halfway through 2024.  It’s a great time to reevaluate then manage any expectations we’ve had for this year.  This is the year I’ve had my first, and perhaps my last, book published.  It feels good to have accomplished that.  I am now in the weeds attempting to promote the book while working full-time.  Promotions do not come naturally for me so it feels like I’m rolling a big bolder uphill uncertain if like Icarus is will roll down again.   But I’m challenging myself to do what I can and then challenging myself yet again let go of the results.  When I measure my self-worth by the results I produce I may experience a fleeting high, but in the end I try my best to be proud of going beyond my limits no matter how things turn out.  

These days doing TikTok and Instagram videos with self-care tips is way beyond my comfort zone.  Every day I tell myself that I can quit and enjoy some quiet time.  I think I’ll keep going for now taking my quiet time in August like most traditional psychotherapists.  I started the year with other goals as well.  One was to give away more stuff than I brought in.  I have been giving stuff away, but I am not great at letting go of things I like.  I was also going to stretch more and do more yoga.  I keep my yoga mat out in my home office.  Many days it’s aspirational.  But the mornings I include it in my routine I feel good.  Not so much for checking it off my list, but for giving myself a little something extra to get through my day.  I will take the wins where I can.  

I hope this half-way mark of this year allows you to reflect on your accomplishments and take it easy on yourself for the ongoing hopes and aspirations you may have.  There’s a time to push ourselves, and a time to be gentle.  My experience has been when I’m pushing too hard it’s time for some gentle kindness.  But really, when is it ever not a time for kindness for ourselves?  No time I can think of.  

Self-Care Tips:  

  • Reassess what is possible and probable this year and find a way to accept this new information.
  • Look for free opportunities in your area.  In NYC we have galleries, traveling Shakespeare, concerts and so much more.  You may enjoy a local sports event, a history walk or whatever is offered locally.
  • Clean out your medicine cabinet.  There’s bound to be expired products and cosmetics, soaps or other items you no longer use.  

Old Lady TikTok, Week Twenty-Four in the No Longer New Abnormal

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I spent five days this week recording short videos for my new book, In the Time of Coronavirus, Reflecting on the Past to Embrace a Joyful Future.  I am uncomfortable promoting the book.  I am not made for publicity and sales.  They are not my strengths.  But I am willing to move out of my comfort zone (though is life ever really comfortable?) and attempt to promote my book by sharing self-care tips from the paperback.  

The lighting has been all wrong.  I jerry-rigged a desk and a stack of books to record the videos.  And, I have no idea how to edit , so you can see m turning the record button on and off.  I see wonderful, professionally styled videos on TikTok.  But every time I go to the app, I am flummoxed and can’t figure out some of the simplest issues.  

I imagine I’ll learn through trial and error.  Or I can hope to befriend a much younger person who can guide me past my antiquated ways.  In the meantime, I will hobble along posting substandard clips.  Hopefully the featured self-care tips will be value-added on these amateur endeavors.  In the meantime, I’m living and learning.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • Keep the self-care tips coming, buy In the Time of Coronavirus.  Perhaps this tip is self-care for me.  But it is my hope, you will benefit from the tips in the book.  
  • Keep a pad & oen along with a small flashlight by your bed.  If you have a hard time getting to sleep, or you wake up with thoughts swirling, writing worries or thoughts down long-hand without the assistance of a lit device, will help you to get the sleep you need.  
  • When making a written request, reread what you’ve written to make sure the request is clear thus enhancing your chances of getting what you want. 

Publishing Week, Week Twenty-Three in the No Longer New Abnormal

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This Tuesday I become a published author with In the Time of Coronavirus, Reflecting on the Past to Embrace a Joyful Future.  To that end I am doing everything I know to do to promote this book, working to get it into stores, sites and libraries and into readers’ hands.  It is a daunting task.  I am overwhelmed, yet very excited.  

I am grateful to all of you who pre-ordered the book.  Not only does your support mean the world to me, but it also provides a small foothold into the publishing world.  Any reviews to Goodreads, Amazon, Barnes and Noble or other review outlets would be greatly appreciated.  I am not comfortable asking for your support, and yet, I am willing to step out of my comfort zone to say please and thank you.  

I am hopeful that the book will provide some support for its readers.  Given today and days ahead with much to accomplish, I am writing a short blog.  Wishing you a lovely weekend, and again, thank you.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • Take one small step towards a goal you desire.  We often think we have to accomplish so much, but each small step moves us closer to our goals.  Put one dollar away towards a major purchase.  Clean one small surface even if you have an entire home to clean, etc. 
  • Contact someone from your past to let them know what a difference they made in your life.  We often don’t let people know and then regret not saying something when it’s too late.  
  • Make a mental note or write it down if you like of at least one thing off the top of your head for which you’re grateful.  As for me, I am so grateful you’re reading this.  

My First Reading, Week Twenty-One in the No Longer New Abnormal

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I was nervous.  I had agreed to participate in a Zoom panel which included reading from my pre-published book, In the Time of Coronavirus. but it’s been a long time since I’ve spoken to a group.  As I was practicing, reading the blog post a few times, I noticed my voice sounded like it was stuck in my throat.  I did not think that was a good thing.  

It’s allergy season.  I hadn’t grown up with allergies.  That role was my brother Joel’s realm.  He was racked with sniffling and sneezing in the spring with hay fever, pollen allergies and more.  As much as he loved little league, his nose itched on third base.  I wondered if he could even see the ball given his watery eyes.  He did well enough.  But it was not until now, in my mid-sixties, that I can appreciate what he’s gone through his entire life.  

Allergies are not pleasant.  And even less so when I want to read with authority.  But I needn’t have worried.  When I looked at the attendees, I noticed so many kind and supportive faces and names, both those I knew, and those who came for the other authors.  I settled in, allergies and all, and listened to the two other panelists, knowing it was better for me, and for them, that I stay focused with what they were reading rather than reside in my head worried about how I would do.  

In fact, the show of support helped me to feel grateful, which in turn buoyed me to simply read and not watch my own performance.  I’m not sure how I did, but the experience was extremely fulfilling.  It’s so easy to be grateful when in the presence of caring individuals.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • When you get your hands wet, rather than just washing them or drying them, feel the water, appreciate the wet sensation of touching water.  Let the sensation of having water move through your hands capture a new perception of being in the moment.  
  • Say Good night to yourself.  It’s a simple acknowledgment that your day has come to an end and it’s time to put yourself to sleep.  
  • Observe how you feel when in the presence of others.  If you feel confident, energized or at ease, you know you’re in good company. 

It’s Hard Being Hard on Myself, Week Twenty in the No Longer New Abnormal

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In thinking about what to write this week I wondered if I should write about Mother’s Day.  But I decided that rather than writing more on the day that brings up so much for so many, I’ll limit my input by briefly folding it into the self-care tips, Then there have been amazing pictures online of the rare Aurelia Borealis.  Though I didn’t witness it myself, those who captured the colorful wonder have posted images that defy words.  What I’ve settled on is to say that when I reread my book a couple of months ago, In the Time of Coronavirus, for the last look before submitting it for publication, I became very uset.  I thought, “Who do I think I am?’ and “what could I have been thinking?” and, “This is bad. I’m so embarrassed!”  I have a long history of berating myself.  At that moment I questioned my writing, and my hubris for thinking I could put a book out into the world.  

I very down on myself.  But I had gotten so far and I decided to give the final go-ahead, knowing I’d have to with all my feelings.  It had been a dream of mine to be an author, and it was okay if this was my first, if flawed, book.  I had learned a lot and I still have a lot to learn, so this would be a dream come true, even if there were things that upset me.  

Once it was in pre-publication, the publishing date is June 4th, a few early reviews came in.  They were very positive.  The reviewers didn’t know me, nor did they have any incentive to write nice things about the book.  Once I read a couple, I realized how hard I had been on myself, and, in turn, the book.  Maybe I was simply wrong.  Or I had unreasonable expectations.  Not a rare trait.  Just ask my family.  I am grateful that others have been able to appreciate what I couldn’t.  Though I know it’s probable that there will be mixed reviews, depending on the reader, it’s nice to know it will find its audience, and that is just fine.  

Here are a few quotes from the reviews:  

From Kirkus:

 “Zinn writes in an unadorned style that feels both accessible and intimate. She discusses her subjects with gentle authority while making no claims to having all the answers.”

And:

“A pandemic remembrance that succeeds as both memoir and self-help guide.”

From the Book Commentary:  

“In her poignant collection of reflections and self-care strategies, In the Time of Coronavirus, Janet Zinn examines the tumultuous landscape of the pandemic with grace and wisdom.”

And:

“This book might be about coping with the COVID-19 pandemic, but its wisdom is timeless, a message to accompany and inspire readers through any difficult moment.” 

From The Feathered Quill:  

“With its intimacy centering on Zinn’s experiences and its universality deftly depicted to reach the hearts and minds of others, her book is sure to fulfill the purpose she envisioned.”

And: 

“ Janet Zinn’s self-help manual, In the Time of Coronavirus, offers an empathic, week-by-week view of the effects of coronavirus restrictions that will be read and appreciated by anyone seeking to solve a large variety of life’s problems.”

Though I was harsh with no clear perspective, I am open to the fact that my opinion in that dark place was purely subjective.  I’m hopeful that other readers will find In the Time of Coronavirus useful and supportive when life’s difficulties emerge.  In the end, my first book served its author when I was being too tough on myself.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • Do what you can to reparent yourself.  If your mother or caregiver was kind and accepting, you can replicate that care towards yourself.  If your primary caregiver or parent was not someone who matched your needs, then find a way to be compassionate towards yourself for what you didn’t receive but can now give to yourself.  
  • Another way to reparent yourself is to notice when you are being critical of yourself and ask “what can I do to be more accepting of what I’m going through?” And, “can I give myself something that might support me through this?”
  • Gift yourself a future copy of  In the Time of Coronavirus.   You can go to https://janetzinn.com or go to Amazon, Barnes and Noble, request it from your local library, or from an independent bookstore or book seller. 

Not Boring, Week Ten in the No Longer New Abnormal

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As a psychotherapist I’ve noticed that so many people in and out of my office will say, “I know this is boring, but…”  Traditionally therapists don’t respond, we only listen.  I’m more interactive, so I respond to the statement that they think what they have to say is boring.  I’m curious.  I don’t find what they tell me boring. But I want to know how they see it themselves.  The subject matter is secondary to their perceptions and experiences of living their lives.  I am fascinated by that.  Luckily my profession affords me to privilege of hearing their insights and opinions regarding their lives.  

I can relate to the idea that what I have to say is boring.  In fact, week after week in writing this blog I tend to stress over what I’m writing, then subsequently judging myself and my writing.  I still write the piece figuring it may be boring for some and that’s the fate of putting something out there.  It is perhaps even more true now that I am getting ready to publish my first book, In the Time of Coronavirus, Looking at the Past for a Joyous Future.  It is a compilation of blog posts from the pandemic.  

I’ve always wanted to write a book.  And when a book I was working on about courage hit a wall, I decided to pivot and publish this book at the prodding of others.  I will return to the courage book, as finishing it will be an act of courage in its own right.  

In the meantime, I’m working on all the backroom details that have to get done to sell a book.  I don’t like it.  And, yes, I find it either stressful or boring, but necessary, nonetheless.  So, I take walks, go to the theater, work, and enjoy small moments of grace to insert joy throughout the process.  And when I’m stressed, I find solace in all that is boring.  Boring is a gift.  I used to think all things boring was a problem when I was younger.  No more.  In both my personal and professional lives, boring is anything but.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • Enjoy a gratitude practice for anything you perceive as boring.  Be grateful that life is providing a break from the hard stuff. 
  • If you find something boring, tighten your focus and see if you can identify the small changes that take place.  When driving it could be the music you’re listening to or the changes in the clouds.  Focus on anything that shifts boredom to interest. 
  • Rather than simply listening to, reading or watching those who have the same opinions and world views, listen, watch or observe with curiosity something or someone who sees things differently.  Make sure to see if you can learn something rather than dismissing it right away.  

Mundane Day, The Thirty-First Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

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What am I doing this weekend?  Nothing special and everything essential.  In an Instagram world of glamourous posts, my weekend is the antithesis of awesome.  I started early to ensure I could easily access the washing machines needed for the weekly laundry.  Luckily for me, it was a ghost town before 7 am, and I peacefully and quietly secured my machines and loaded them from the full hampers.  

After I put the laundry in the dryer, bringing the hang-dry bag up to the apartment to, you guessed it, hang dry, I took Lucy out for a walk before the sun was beating too strongly on the sidewalks.  It’s pleasant enough, but the humidity still clung in-between my skin and my summer cottons. 

Then I ran some errands.  I was at the post office, which was empty due to it being the first summer since the pandemic in which everyone is running to escape the city on weekends.   Thank you, travelers, it’s so nice to enjoy a quiet corner of the city for a change.  Next was a stop at the local farmers’ market.  It seemed as if everyone who stayed in the city was buying up produce and baked goods.  The lines were long.  Some shoppers have routines in which they step in and out of line yet don’t communicate so those of us partially-patient while waiting are to assume they had a place somewhere and are now happy to go in front of us to procure their staples. 

I got enough sleep last night and Lucy was set with treats, so I felt less agitated by those farmers’ market patrons.  Sometimes, though, I can get annoyed. It was nice to have skipped over my reactivity this morning.  Carrying my load, Lucy and I took the short walk back home.  From there it was time for food prep.  There’s something straightforward about cutting fruit and chopping vegetables.  

Boring days like today are necessary to get through our lives.  However, it’s only boring as a story.  While ticking off these daily chores, it’s nice to accomplish small tasks.  It’s satisfying to finish one small project and then the next.  I was never bored.  In fact, I appreciated the quiet time getting everything done.  The mundane is not necessarily dull.  

Self-care tips:

  • The next time someone asks, “What’s new?”  See if you can easily and proudly share what you’ve been up to without having to exaggerate or only speak of the highlights.  
  • Find the extraordinary in the ordinary.  Often little things make a big difference.  
  • Find something that combines humor and art.  It could be poetry, fine art, a film, literature, or another type of artistry.  It’s so much fun to laugh and be inspired simultaneously.  It could be a Charlie Chaplin film, a Dorothy Parker poem, a Victor Borge video, any Judy Holliday movie, or choose something that suites your particular sense of humor.  

Micro Adjustments, The Twentieth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

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I just heard about micro adjustments. I’d never heard the phrase or the concept before. It was introduced as a mindfulness practice to adjust our perspective from getting lost in our thoughts, or external circumstances, to coming back to the present moment. It connotes adjusting our consciousness from distraction to mindful awareness.  This may not be a new concept, but it’s new to me.  

I love the idea of micro adjustments.  They are slight but meaningful.  I plan on implementing micro adjustments when listening, or writing, or simply when walking and viewing the city.  When I catch myself drifting away lost in a thought loop I can micro adjust to enjoy the moment again.  

I tried it this rainy morning while baking banana bread.  I was half-way through the recipe when I started looking through the cabinets wondering how many spices and various ingredients I was never going to use.  Too many, that’s how many.  So, I started to get the foot ladder to make room on the top shelves.  Then I caught myself sidetracked, again.  I stepped down from the ladder, turned around, and then continued mixing the dry ingredients into the wet batter.  

It felt so good to go back to my original activity.  I completed the mixing, the pouring into the pan, and the clean-up before returning to the cabinets.  It’s a quotidian moment, home tasks, easily diverted, then going back to start over again.  I’m easily distracted. Having a phrase that quantifies that instant when the shift takes place bringing me back to the present is terrific.  Micro adjustments are my new favorite contextual idiom.  

Self-Care Tips:

  • The next time you find yourself readjusting to the present moment, remember you just performed a micro adjustment. Acknowledge yourself. 
  • Name something you know you do well.  Smile, and take a moment to appreciate your gift.
  • Look in your cabinets, refrigerator or pantry and get rid of anything beyond expired, or anything you have that you privately know you’ll never use.  Then enjoy the space created.