This Tuesday I become a published author with In the Time of Coronavirus, Reflecting on the Past to Embrace a Joyful Future. To that end I am doing everything I know to do to promote this book, working to get it into stores, sites and libraries and into readers’ hands. It is a daunting task. I am overwhelmed, yet very excited.
I am grateful to all of you who pre-ordered the book. Not only does your support mean the world to me, but it also provides a small foothold into the publishing world. Any reviews to Goodreads, Amazon, Barnes and Noble or other review outlets would be greatly appreciated. I am not comfortable asking for your support, and yet, I am willing to step out of my comfort zone to say please and thank you.
I am hopeful that the book will provide some support for its readers. Given today and days ahead with much to accomplish, I am writing a short blog. Wishing you a lovely weekend, and again, thank you.
Self-Care Tips:
Take one small step towards a goal you desire. We often think we have to accomplish so much, but each small step moves us closer to our goals. Put one dollar away towards a major purchase. Clean one small surface even if you have an entire home to clean, etc.
Contact someone from your past to let them know what a difference they made in your life. We often don’t let people know and then regret not saying something when it’s too late.
Make a mental note or write it down if you like of at least one thing off the top of your head for which you’re grateful. As for me, I am so grateful you’re reading this.
I enjoyed a long walk in Riverside Park this weekend. It’s been a few years, while in the darkest days of the pandemic, that I had visited the park by the Hudson River. Spring is gracing New York City with colorful blooms. On our sunnier days smiles are exchanged as strangers pass one another.
May has begun with a variety of weather fronts, one day I put away my winter wear only to take it off the top shelves the very next day. Though I am perplexed as to what to wear, I have no confusion when it comes to taking in the flowers and trees whenever I enter a park. I may be chilly, but I’m warmed by the bright colors on my walks.
I also find that after a day walking I sleep better. Always a gift for these tired bones.
Self-Care Tips:
For sleep, open your mouth wide and release your lower jaw to let go of any tension held in your jaw. Follow it up with a smile as you take a breath. Letting go on the stress will help to ease into sleep
Another sleep tip is to imagine your mattress, bed, or any sleeping surface is caressing you. Allow all your weight to be held by your bed, sinking into the surface for a more relaxing experience before sleep comes.
And, if you are having a hard time falling asleep try reading something that has put you to sleep in the past. It’s usually something you should be reading, rather than something you want to read. You can even check out audiobooks to put you to sleep if listening is better than trying to read late at night.
Having lived as long as I have, visiting friends and family sometimes means travel. Following our amazing time in Mexico City we took a drive to the Teotihuacán Pyramids, which were magnificent. It’s a pre-historic Mayan city. To walk in the same steps as those who resided there thousands of years ago is a powerful experience. From there we traveled on to San Miguel de Allende, a lovely small city with an artistic soul.
It was there I enjoyed a reunion with Annie, a friend for almost forty years. It had been decades wince we saw each other. What a joy to share our memories while catching up with life now. She, like many expats, has made San Miguel her home.
Year after year Travel and Leisure names San Miguel de Allende one of the best places to retire. Though stunning, warm, and inviting, the cobblestones alone, not to mention the hilly landscape, are a deterrent as a retirement destination for me. Even so, it is easy to see the happiness of so many retired individuals.
While in San Miguel, thanks to Annie, we had a wonderful time sitting on porches and balconies, catching up while city life passed by. She created an amazing trip for us. We saw markets, architecture, historical churches, art galleries, resorts, and flora and fauna. We were all exhausted with the wealth of activities. The food and drinks were delicious, and laugher was our soundtrack.
I am so grateful for my wonderful friends, near and far. It makes for a rich life, indeed.
Self-Care Tips:
Reconnect with friends, especially those with whom you can laugh. It’s always a joy when laughter is shared in our relationships.
As the weather gets warmer, sit outside to people watch, read a book, or just enjoy the scenery.
Rub your hands together until the palms are warm, then place them on tired eyes, on your heart or belly. It can be a self-soothing act.
I made a trip to DC this weekend. I was going to visit family, see a musical, get to the National Portrait Gallery and enjoy the cherry blossoms. I was able to enjoy time with my family and see a most wonderful show at Arena Stage Theater. Bu it turns out the Cherry Blossoms were premature this year due to the warmer winter months. I thought I was early enough but that was not the case. I saw trees with waning petals, the best in Takoma Park, MD. But the city failed to provide me with the simple joy of full flowered trees wherever I went.
My first sighting was while on a speeding train due south. It looked promising on the bank of a river. Once in the city limits, I got to my hotel room and ran out to ensure the best viewing possible. Instead, they mostly alluded me. I was able to spot a few here and there. I walked the length of the mall to see what I could find. There was one cropping which was filled with a crowd, mostly posing under and close to the trees. Apparently a lot of people were visiting the capitol for the love of cherry blossoms.
Though the cherry blossoms were disappointing for the most part, it turned into a game and each time I saw a flowering tree I got excited. A made-up game, similar to those I played as a child. The real thrill was seeing my in-laws who I haven’t seen in years. They had changed and at the same time were very much the same in a comforting way that comes from familiarity. Their garden is the product of love. Their home, filled with beautiful artwork, was good to see again after too much time had passed. Then, last evening was a true gift. The Unknown Soldier, a stunning musical with beautifully woven threads composed by Michael Friedman, is a rich, nuanced show with an outstanding cast. Though I didn’t see it when it premiered in New York City at Playwright’s Horizon, it was wonderful to enjoy in in DC.
Outside the theater as light raindrops suddenly and unexpectedly arrived, an errant cherry blossom landed in my hair. My weekend was complete.
Self-Care Tips:
Create a game for yourself this Spring of finding and naming flowers as you go about your activities.
When you have an unfulfilled expectation, try to balance disappointment with discovery of hidden gifts. It’s important you don’t deny your feelings. But equally important that your disappointment doesn’t obscure something agreeable.
If you’ve been meaning to call, write or visit someone, reach out. We more often regret what we haven’t done rather than the actions we take.
There’s nothing like a flower show in the middle of a cold winter to warm our souls. That was my thinking as I embarked on the member preview of the Orchid Show at the New York Botanical Garden in the Bronx. My plan was to get there early so I could get in and out and home for work. I walked in the chilly weather to the subway where I got on the number 5 subway to Bedford Avenue. However, it was the number 4 train that I needed, so I had to reroute, getting off at the Grand Concourse and then settling in for a 45-minute ride to the Garden via the Bx 19 bus. This was an hour detour in total, getting me to the Garden with the throngs of people who also wanted to enjoy the tropical flowers.
I made the decision to return via Metro North getting off at 42nd Street, but first I had to winnow my way through unwieldy Instagram photographers and flower gawkers. Even when I politely said excuse me, as I wanted to get away from the heavily-clothed crowd and make my train back to the city, I was greeted by annoying responses. They were irritated that I’d want to pass them, and had something to say to me.
There were a few narrow openings, and I made my way past the hot house , thus able to escape in time for my train back to the city. As gorgeous as the flowers are, I will return on an early weekday when there is less of a rush, and I can quietly enjoy the annual oasis.
There was a time I would have been so hard on myself for getting on the wrong train, dealing with the crowds, and generally making mistakes. I would have been judgmental of the cantankerous flower gawkers. I still have my moments, but I was not hard on myself. Nor was I angry with the unwanted commentary. I simply learned for the next time. And I enjoyed my bus ride, getting to see parts of the city I don’t normally see. Age, mediation, and therapy have all been helpful in being kinder to myself and more accepting of others. Though I spent less time with the flowers than I had planned, I received other unexpected gifts.
Self-Care Tips:
Bring a flower home or go out to see flowers where you can. Photos can also do the trick. As we get through the rest of this winter, flowers do brighten the darker days. Trader Joes has terrific prices on flowers. You can gift or get amaryllis bulbs in wax online. Like at Tulip World.
Do a kindness mediation. Sharon Salzberg has wonderful Loving Kindness mediations. 10% Happier also has a terrific selection of kindness meditations. Or find one online.
Attend to your feet. Sometimes a nice body or foot cream massaged into your feet can be a simple, caring act.
There is a distinct feeling of “hygge’” a Danish word for contentment that comes from comfort and an easy friendliness, that perfectly describes the vibe we encountered in Copenhagen. Last week we had taken advantage of an Icelandair special to visit Copenhagen. I have always wanted to go to Nordic countries, but they seemed so remote. This deal with a stopover in Iceland was exactly what I needed to bridge the gap from a dream to a reality.
Throughout the years I’ve read food and travel blogs about Denmark and Copenhagen. And Copenhagen did not disappoint. The food was excellent. It’s so much fun to visit the outdoor markets, the covered markets, the cafes, the bakeries, and the restaurants. And, like New York, Copenhagen is a great walking city. Every chance I had I walked for miles, getting lost, finding myself in unknown neighborhoods or parks where there was always something new I encountered.
Our very first day in Copenhagen, jetlagged and hungry, we set off for a foodhall. The closest good one, we were told, was only one stop away on the “S” train. We dutifully walked the 15 minutes to the train station, bought our four-day pass for public transportation. The machine preferred European credit cards, so another ten minutes were spent trying to obtain our cards, but we prevailed. Next, we set off to find the S train, only to see that there were multiple tracks. We were flummoxed.
Luckily, a passerby helped us out and though we ended up on the Subway, we eventually found our way to the market. She was the first of many who embodied the hygge vibe. She was friendly, considered our request, and offered the best way she knew to get there. Even though we stopped others who had not known the directions we needed, all were kind, pausing from their morning commute to listen fully to our request. And, though it was our first hour in the city, there were many interactions that reflected the hygge mentality.
Right before we left for vacation, I had read a post that was critical of those who share their vacations on social media. She, the poster, saw it as bragging. It’s possible my posts can be perceived that way. Though not my intention, I do understand that traveling is a luxury, and it’s not always accessible to all. And, yet I love traveling and it’s an aspect of my life that always feels enriching. However, I did wonder if it was appropriate to share my travels.
After considering her post, I decided to share my experience. Travel means a lot to me. It gives me joy. Not only do I get a great deal out of traveling, the least of which was learning more about hygge on this trip, but I do bring back what I learn and do my best to apply it to my everyday life. I’m happy to be home. There is a hygge in sleeping in my comfortable bed, though I do miss the feather beds on our mattresses in Copenhagen. I am grateful to apply a new type of ease to my daily activities. There’s a good reason Denmark is the second happiest country in the world. I hope to visit Finland at some point, as that was rated number one. I look forward to seeing what I can learn on that trip.
Self-Care Tips:
If you listen to or read someone who has a very strong opinion, see if it applies to you. What they say is reflective of their point of view. So often we shut down our expressive selves because someone else says it’s not okay. Do your best to be okay with your choices and live your life fully as you, while not purposely hurting yourself or other. And understand not everyone will be okay with your choices, only you have to be okay with them.
Apply “Hygge” to your life. Find ways that bring ease and comfort. It’s simple but not always easy to take the path of least resistance.
Create a savings account for a specific goal or dream. For instance, I have a separate travel account. Even if your budget is small, set aside a dollar a week, less if that’s what’s needed. It can make the goal seem more real. There are many no fee apps and banks that allow for this type of account. Or you can use a specific change jar for a goal. This is great at any age.
Summers are not as warm in Maine as they are in New York City. The air is fresh with ocean mists and the sun has been shy peeking out from the fog on this visit. We came to Portland to visit friends, enjoy lobster in any number of ways, and walk the charming streets in this compact city.
The beauty of the coast is something else. Cliffs making way to crashing waves is beautiful from the high land. I imagine it was devastating for sailors of the past who found the shore inhospitable.
Larry’s and my love of traveling together began over 27 years ago on a road trip through Maine. We loved seeing the varying coastline, the New England inns that offered warmth and pure hospitality. Of course, lobsters featured throughout that trip. It is nice to be back. And, even better to be back to enjoy it with our friends. It was a gift to see how they built a home and a community in this wonderful place. And they shared their love for Portland with us. Their hearts are generous, and we are such fortunate recipients of their munificence.
Taking this short trip reminds me again of the goodness in people, and the pleasure in leaving home to open my mind and my heart.
Self-Care Tips:
Send an old friend a hand-written note. It’s so nice to connect with someone who has made a difference in your life. If you can’t see them in person a note or letter feels good when sending it and they enjoy receiving it.
Introduce new herbs and spices into your food, and/or into your garden. I just tried lovage for the first time and it had a unique yet familiar taste to it.
We’re always told to go out of our comfort zones. Instead, give yourself some time to create a comfort zone for yourself that is cozy and safe. Know you can always go there when needed, no matter how many times you leave.
It was a mere coincidence that we happen to be in Split, Croatia the same day the New York Times travel section featured 36 hours in Split. It’s about the same amount of time we’ll be in Split, which is a beautiful port city on the coast of the Adriatic Sea.
I would hear what a stunning country Croatia was. Anyone I knew who traveled there would expound in its beauty and charm. But having so many places we wanted to travel it never made it to the top of our list. Then I had read that Intrepid Travel, a small group tour company, had been named the number one tour guide by a few outlets like Afar, Travel Awards, and more. It was then I looked at their itineraries, and the Croatian trip of the Dalmatian Coast fit the bill for time, cost, and interest.
So here we are with a view of the Adriatic Sea, enjoying the ruins of the last Roman Emperor’s castle from the 4th century, Diocletian. Yeah, I had never heard of him either. That’s what’s so great about travel, we learn so much while enjoying another culture.
What did surprise us is how delicious the food is. We think of Italy when we think of pizza, and yet, in Split pizza is everywhere. Almost like New York City, except it’s a walled town with no high buildings. So not like New York at all. And the fresh seafood is exquisite.
It does feel as if we’ve been transported to another time. Before reaching the city center there is a centuries old farmer’s market where farmers come in the morning to sell their wares, from handmade cheeses to deep red cherries. They tend their farms in the afternoons, only to return the following morning. From there we enter the city gates. I can walk inside the gothic city walls for hours, getting lost through the labyrinth of narrow alleyways. When I find my way outside the city walls, the fresh sea air is invigorating.
And, when I tire of continuing my walk the length of the marina, I can sit watching the many tourists with a lovely cup of cappuccino. Split has proven to be a wonderful start to a memorable Balkan vacation.
Self-Care Tips:
Look up a Croatian recipe. It will be something new that will only enhance your culinary repertoire.
People watch. It used to be a wonderful past time before smart phones. But it’s a lost art worth revisiting.
Get a short history lesson by going to Tic Tok or YouTube. Pick a subject or location and learn a new fact or two from the comfort of your home.
I noticed that by the end of my work week I was short on compassion. My go to was frustration, impatience, or barely disguised anger. It was simple things. I was missing paperwork that had been promised me. A pair of reading glasses broke. Or it was a string of simple annoyances.
I thoughtfully ordered a huge container of white vinegar and a large box of kosher salt to minimize the growth of bamboo, an invasive species, from our garden. I was already annoyed that our neighbor’s bamboo had crept into our plot of land. And I was aggravated that the two separate (un)handy people did a poor job of weeding out the bamboo. But now the very heavy package was not delivered to my office but was left at the post office for me to pick up. I was complaining about this to a friend while walking, and she listened without judgement, making me smile even while I was grumpy.
I went to retrieve the box, first having to stop by my office to get a cart to roll there. I don’t love the look of me dragging the blue covered shopping cart on city streets, but I am relieved to be old enough not to care as much about what I may look like. I got to the post office, and only had to wait briefly for the postal rep. I presented my printed paperwork since there was no notice left on my door, only an email telling me my package was not delivered.
She gave me a knowing smile and told me that my package was not there. It was at another post office. I showed her the email stating that it was delivered to her location. Her next smile was kinder, and in a gentle voice, as she clearly saw that I needed cautious handling, she explained that this was a regular occurrence, and she was sorry. My frustration melted slightly by her kind demeanor, and I went on my way, rolling the cart on the bumpy New York sidewalks until I reached the next post office.
The lines were long. I wanted to groan audibly, but I stopped myself. I decided to stay, cleaning up email inbox while I waited impatiently. When I finally got to the counter I was again greeted by a friendly representative. She was happy because it was her last day. She recognized my name because my large and heavy box was damaged. I girded myself for the worst. But when I got the box, yes it was crushed, but the cargo was not damaged, and I could take it back to my garden to rid myself of the pesky bamboo.
Since I had the cart, and surprisingly there was still room in it, I stopped by the grocery store to replace a few items. And what started out as an inconvenient and annoying chore turned into an appreciation for how easily kindness and happiness shared can shift my mood. My irritability is a good indication that I’m ready for a vacation, which I will be taking this week. Yet, I am pleased that I am not so attached to my anger and frustration that the kindness of a friend or a stranger can’t turn around my mood.
When I’m tired or burnt out it’s so easy to get irritated. Just as negativity is contagious, so is thoughtfulness and joy. I will do my best when feeling less depleted to be considerate of others. Maybe, they too, don’t have to let a bad mood become a bad day.
Self-Care Tools:
If you’re tired or upset or both seek out kindness. It could be a worker, a friend, or a stranger who can uplift you with a kind word, a smile, or light humor.
If you’re in a good mood, share it. Be generous, it’s free to share happiness. And it multiplies your joy.
Replenish daily items that make life a little easier, whether it’s a mini hand sanitizer, a pen & pad, emery boards, wipes or tissues. Having these supplies in your bag or close by make life a touch easier.
I just heard about micro adjustments. I’d never heard the phrase or the concept before. It was introduced as a mindfulness practice to adjust our perspective from getting lost in our thoughts, or external circumstances, to coming back to the present moment. It connotes adjusting our consciousness from distraction to mindful awareness. This may not be a new concept, but it’s new to me.
I love the idea of micro adjustments. They are slight but meaningful. I plan on implementing micro adjustments when listening, or writing, or simply when walking and viewing the city. When I catch myself drifting away lost in a thought loop I can micro adjust to enjoy the moment again.
I tried it this rainy morning while baking banana bread. I was half-way through the recipe when I started looking through the cabinets wondering how many spices and various ingredients I was never going to use. Too many, that’s how many. So, I started to get the foot ladder to make room on the top shelves. Then I caught myself sidetracked, again. I stepped down from the ladder, turned around, and then continued mixing the dry ingredients into the wet batter.
It felt so good to go back to my original activity. I completed the mixing, the pouring into the pan, and the clean-up before returning to the cabinets. It’s a quotidian moment, home tasks, easily diverted, then going back to start over again. I’m easily distracted. Having a phrase that quantifies that instant when the shift takes place bringing me back to the present is terrific. Micro adjustments are my new favorite contextual idiom.
Self-Care Tips:
The next time you find yourself readjusting to the present moment, remember you just performed a micro adjustment. Acknowledge yourself.
Name something you know you do well. Smile, and take a moment to appreciate your gift.
Look in your cabinets, refrigerator or pantry and get rid of anything beyond expired, or anything you have that you privately know you’ll never use. Then enjoy the space created.
janetzinn 