This weekend I walked in the steaming heat enjoying Summer Streets while traversing Park Avenue without cars. I will miss the next two Saturdays, so it was a pleasant reprieve to have more than enough room while walking among pedestrians, runners, and cyclists. I am going away. Initially I packed for a hot summer, but according to the lower temperatures in Dublin I was ill prepared. Following my lovely and tiring walk, I unpacked and repacked for a ten-day trip to Ireland. Instead of tank tops and sandals I’m bringing sweaters and socks.
I am very excited. Reading Edna O’Brian and Roddy Doyle, starting in high school, have instilled in me a love of Ireland, though I’ve never step foot on the Island. It was my college friend, Shawn Wilson’s idea. We had been trying to get together for years. We both have busy professional lives with very different schedules. Shawn threw out the idea and the trip was planned within a day. Not only did we agree on the one week that was good for both of us, but she found an amazing local tour that appealed to both of us. Since I am usually the planner in my family, it was an extra luxury to have my friend take care of the details.
We’ll meet up in Dublin and go from there, probably taking too many pictures. In the meantime, I have a few off-the-beaten-path pictures of New York City, pre-vacation.
Self-Care Tips:
Hugs. If you know a good hugger exchange a great hug. If you are on your own, wrap your arms around yourself for a self-loving embrace.
Seek out something unusual for you. Read an article from another point of view. Look up an unfamiliar country and find out about its culture, foods, landscape and customs.
Enjoy in-season fruits and vegetables. The peaches are divine. The strawberries and blueberries are at their peak. And summer squash is sweet and versatile.
I enjoyed a long walk in Riverside Park this weekend. It’s been a few years, while in the darkest days of the pandemic, that I had visited the park by the Hudson River. Spring is gracing New York City with colorful blooms. On our sunnier days smiles are exchanged as strangers pass one another.
May has begun with a variety of weather fronts, one day I put away my winter wear only to take it off the top shelves the very next day. Though I am perplexed as to what to wear, I have no confusion when it comes to taking in the flowers and trees whenever I enter a park. I may be chilly, but I’m warmed by the bright colors on my walks.
I also find that after a day walking I sleep better. Always a gift for these tired bones.
Self-Care Tips:
For sleep, open your mouth wide and release your lower jaw to let go of any tension held in your jaw. Follow it up with a smile as you take a breath. Letting go on the stress will help to ease into sleep
Another sleep tip is to imagine your mattress, bed, or any sleeping surface is caressing you. Allow all your weight to be held by your bed, sinking into the surface for a more relaxing experience before sleep comes.
And, if you are having a hard time falling asleep try reading something that has put you to sleep in the past. It’s usually something you should be reading, rather than something you want to read. You can even check out audiobooks to put you to sleep if listening is better than trying to read late at night.
Having lived as long as I have, visiting friends and family sometimes means travel. Following our amazing time in Mexico City we took a drive to the Teotihuacán Pyramids, which were magnificent. It’s a pre-historic Mayan city. To walk in the same steps as those who resided there thousands of years ago is a powerful experience. From there we traveled on to San Miguel de Allende, a lovely small city with an artistic soul.
It was there I enjoyed a reunion with Annie, a friend for almost forty years. It had been decades wince we saw each other. What a joy to share our memories while catching up with life now. She, like many expats, has made San Miguel her home.
Year after year Travel and Leisure names San Miguel de Allende one of the best places to retire. Though stunning, warm, and inviting, the cobblestones alone, not to mention the hilly landscape, are a deterrent as a retirement destination for me. Even so, it is easy to see the happiness of so many retired individuals.
While in San Miguel, thanks to Annie, we had a wonderful time sitting on porches and balconies, catching up while city life passed by. She created an amazing trip for us. We saw markets, architecture, historical churches, art galleries, resorts, and flora and fauna. We were all exhausted with the wealth of activities. The food and drinks were delicious, and laugher was our soundtrack.
I am so grateful for my wonderful friends, near and far. It makes for a rich life, indeed.
Self-Care Tips:
Reconnect with friends, especially those with whom you can laugh. It’s always a joy when laughter is shared in our relationships.
As the weather gets warmer, sit outside to people watch, read a book, or just enjoy the scenery.
Rub your hands together until the palms are warm, then place them on tired eyes, on your heart or belly. It can be a self-soothing act.
I made a trip to DC this weekend. I was going to visit family, see a musical, get to the National Portrait Gallery and enjoy the cherry blossoms. I was able to enjoy time with my family and see a most wonderful show at Arena Stage Theater. Bu it turns out the Cherry Blossoms were premature this year due to the warmer winter months. I thought I was early enough but that was not the case. I saw trees with waning petals, the best in Takoma Park, MD. But the city failed to provide me with the simple joy of full flowered trees wherever I went.
My first sighting was while on a speeding train due south. It looked promising on the bank of a river. Once in the city limits, I got to my hotel room and ran out to ensure the best viewing possible. Instead, they mostly alluded me. I was able to spot a few here and there. I walked the length of the mall to see what I could find. There was one cropping which was filled with a crowd, mostly posing under and close to the trees. Apparently a lot of people were visiting the capitol for the love of cherry blossoms.
Though the cherry blossoms were disappointing for the most part, it turned into a game and each time I saw a flowering tree I got excited. A made-up game, similar to those I played as a child. The real thrill was seeing my in-laws who I haven’t seen in years. They had changed and at the same time were very much the same in a comforting way that comes from familiarity. Their garden is the product of love. Their home, filled with beautiful artwork, was good to see again after too much time had passed. Then, last evening was a true gift. The Unknown Soldier, a stunning musical with beautifully woven threads composed by Michael Friedman, is a rich, nuanced show with an outstanding cast. Though I didn’t see it when it premiered in New York City at Playwright’s Horizon, it was wonderful to enjoy in in DC.
Outside the theater as light raindrops suddenly and unexpectedly arrived, an errant cherry blossom landed in my hair. My weekend was complete.
Self-Care Tips:
Create a game for yourself this Spring of finding and naming flowers as you go about your activities.
When you have an unfulfilled expectation, try to balance disappointment with discovery of hidden gifts. It’s important you don’t deny your feelings. But equally important that your disappointment doesn’t obscure something agreeable.
If you’ve been meaning to call, write or visit someone, reach out. We more often regret what we haven’t done rather than the actions we take.
Some weeks are harder than others. Having heard from a number of people this past week was just such a week. I can certainly include myself in that mix. For that reason, I am going to don a virtual mask, making this a quick post, while wishing you all a Happy Halloween. Here are some city pics of the season.
Self-Care Tips:
Give yourself a break. If things are hard, find ways to let go of the normal routines to provide the energy needed for whatever is essential.
Dark humor that does not hurt anyone can even help in hard times.
If you celebrate, enjoy Halloween. If you don’t celebrate, lean into JOMO, the joy of missing out.
There is a distinct feeling of “hygge’” a Danish word for contentment that comes from comfort and an easy friendliness, that perfectly describes the vibe we encountered in Copenhagen. Last week we had taken advantage of an Icelandair special to visit Copenhagen. I have always wanted to go to Nordic countries, but they seemed so remote. This deal with a stopover in Iceland was exactly what I needed to bridge the gap from a dream to a reality.
Throughout the years I’ve read food and travel blogs about Denmark and Copenhagen. And Copenhagen did not disappoint. The food was excellent. It’s so much fun to visit the outdoor markets, the covered markets, the cafes, the bakeries, and the restaurants. And, like New York, Copenhagen is a great walking city. Every chance I had I walked for miles, getting lost, finding myself in unknown neighborhoods or parks where there was always something new I encountered.
Our very first day in Copenhagen, jetlagged and hungry, we set off for a foodhall. The closest good one, we were told, was only one stop away on the “S” train. We dutifully walked the 15 minutes to the train station, bought our four-day pass for public transportation. The machine preferred European credit cards, so another ten minutes were spent trying to obtain our cards, but we prevailed. Next, we set off to find the S train, only to see that there were multiple tracks. We were flummoxed.
Luckily, a passerby helped us out and though we ended up on the Subway, we eventually found our way to the market. She was the first of many who embodied the hygge vibe. She was friendly, considered our request, and offered the best way she knew to get there. Even though we stopped others who had not known the directions we needed, all were kind, pausing from their morning commute to listen fully to our request. And, though it was our first hour in the city, there were many interactions that reflected the hygge mentality.
Right before we left for vacation, I had read a post that was critical of those who share their vacations on social media. She, the poster, saw it as bragging. It’s possible my posts can be perceived that way. Though not my intention, I do understand that traveling is a luxury, and it’s not always accessible to all. And, yet I love traveling and it’s an aspect of my life that always feels enriching. However, I did wonder if it was appropriate to share my travels.
After considering her post, I decided to share my experience. Travel means a lot to me. It gives me joy. Not only do I get a great deal out of traveling, the least of which was learning more about hygge on this trip, but I do bring back what I learn and do my best to apply it to my everyday life. I’m happy to be home. There is a hygge in sleeping in my comfortable bed, though I do miss the feather beds on our mattresses in Copenhagen. I am grateful to apply a new type of ease to my daily activities. There’s a good reason Denmark is the second happiest country in the world. I hope to visit Finland at some point, as that was rated number one. I look forward to seeing what I can learn on that trip.
Self-Care Tips:
If you listen to or read someone who has a very strong opinion, see if it applies to you. What they say is reflective of their point of view. So often we shut down our expressive selves because someone else says it’s not okay. Do your best to be okay with your choices and live your life fully as you, while not purposely hurting yourself or other. And understand not everyone will be okay with your choices, only you have to be okay with them.
Apply “Hygge” to your life. Find ways that bring ease and comfort. It’s simple but not always easy to take the path of least resistance.
Create a savings account for a specific goal or dream. For instance, I have a separate travel account. Even if your budget is small, set aside a dollar a week, less if that’s what’s needed. It can make the goal seem more real. There are many no fee apps and banks that allow for this type of account. Or you can use a specific change jar for a goal. This is great at any age.
I set out to go to The Brooklyn Museum to see the Africa Fashion exhibit. I had intended to see it twice before but got waylaid, so my determination to get there yesterday was fierce. My plan was to slowly jog in Prospect Park getting out at the arch and walking the few blocks to the museum. Once I made it to Prospect Park at an unfamiliar entrance, I opened up Maps on my iPhone and set off.
I had slung a string backpack over my shoulder with my knee braces for the run as well as an umbrella for the unpredictable weather. After securing my knees in place with the braces, I left the bench and turned back to the Maps app. I was curious. Though not so familiar with Brooklyn, I would have thought I should go right on the drive rather than the left the app instructed me to take. With a momentary pull of doubt, I started off on my slow jog, sun unexpectedly shining, bearing left on the path towards the drive.
In just over a mile I was instructed to leave the park. I was surprised I had been so close when the app indicated that I was miles away. When I exited, I was nowhere near anything familiar, but I ended my run and continued on my journey walking to the museum. Ninety minutes later, past a huge cemetery, on the edge of Prospect Heights, then into Fort Greene, ending in Gowanus, right by the newly constructed business area by the Gowanus Canal. This was nowhere near the Brooklyn Museum. Perhaps there was a Brooklyn Museum section of the Design Within Reach store that was where the app stated was my destination. Ah, the limits of technology.
I enjoyed seeing the new construction and the warehouse spaces that were a contemporary take on a Brooklyn aesthetic. There were places to shop, and places to eat. Young business people came and went, coffee in hand, trying to finish out their work week. By the time I sat in an industrial style courtyard there, I wasn’t sure if I should just head home, or if I should circle back and view the exhibit.
Hot, sweaty, and tired, I trudged to the closest subway station, still uncertain whether I was returning to Manhattan or finally seeing the month-old fashion show on display. In the end I transferred to the IRT 2 train and got off in front of the museum. I was disheveled yet determined. I showed my ticket and made it in.
It was less crowded than expected. Good for me, as I could take my time and enjoy the beauty of the craftsmanship and the artistry. I was not disappointed. It spoke of history, joy, and cultural pride with all 54 African countries represented in one or more ways. And, though my tour through Brooklyn was two hours more than expected, it is true of this weekend, that all’s well that ends well.
Self-Care Tips:
The next time you get lost, rather than spend your time trying to get back on track (unless someone needs you to be somewhere on time), look to see what is around you and take in the unexpected surroundings.
If you’re in or around Brooklyn, take a look at the Africa Fashion exhibit. It is inspired.
Try something new. It could be listening to a new artist, trying a food or dish you normally don’t eat. It could be meeting someone new, reading something not familiar to you. Whatever it is, see what you learn about the subject, and/or about yourself.
It was a mere coincidence that we happen to be in Split, Croatia the same day the New York Times travel section featured 36 hours in Split. It’s about the same amount of time we’ll be in Split, which is a beautiful port city on the coast of the Adriatic Sea.
I would hear what a stunning country Croatia was. Anyone I knew who traveled there would expound in its beauty and charm. But having so many places we wanted to travel it never made it to the top of our list. Then I had read that Intrepid Travel, a small group tour company, had been named the number one tour guide by a few outlets like Afar, Travel Awards, and more. It was then I looked at their itineraries, and the Croatian trip of the Dalmatian Coast fit the bill for time, cost, and interest.
So here we are with a view of the Adriatic Sea, enjoying the ruins of the last Roman Emperor’s castle from the 4th century, Diocletian. Yeah, I had never heard of him either. That’s what’s so great about travel, we learn so much while enjoying another culture.
What did surprise us is how delicious the food is. We think of Italy when we think of pizza, and yet, in Split pizza is everywhere. Almost like New York City, except it’s a walled town with no high buildings. So not like New York at all. And the fresh seafood is exquisite.
It does feel as if we’ve been transported to another time. Before reaching the city center there is a centuries old farmer’s market where farmers come in the morning to sell their wares, from handmade cheeses to deep red cherries. They tend their farms in the afternoons, only to return the following morning. From there we enter the city gates. I can walk inside the gothic city walls for hours, getting lost through the labyrinth of narrow alleyways. When I find my way outside the city walls, the fresh sea air is invigorating.
And, when I tire of continuing my walk the length of the marina, I can sit watching the many tourists with a lovely cup of cappuccino. Split has proven to be a wonderful start to a memorable Balkan vacation.
Self-Care Tips:
Look up a Croatian recipe. It will be something new that will only enhance your culinary repertoire.
People watch. It used to be a wonderful past time before smart phones. But it’s a lost art worth revisiting.
Get a short history lesson by going to Tic Tok or YouTube. Pick a subject or location and learn a new fact or two from the comfort of your home.
Growing up we wore rubbers or rubber boots, gently stretching them until they covered our shoes. It was a hassle taking them on and off. But to keep our leather saddle shoes somewhat dry, we sported rubbers over our two-toned oxfords. These days my low rubber boots are the only shoes I need when it’s wet outside. They keep the water from soaking my socks and allow me to walk about in the rain.
It’s been a rare occurrence that we’ve had two rainy days on a weekend. This weekend we’re soggy and a bit chilly. Lucy, our dog, isn’t inclined to go out, and neither am I. I danced in our living room for a while moving to international music, happy to be in the flow, not so happy to feel the aches of muscles waking up after being dormant. Weekends usually mean at least one long walk. Sometimes it’s a great time to walk when it’s raining. The sidewalks are less crowded. Everyone wants to stay inside.
The rain inspires me to slow down. I like that. Of course, other than a few errands, I was not required to work outside, so the impact of the rain is minimal. Rain in the city, at least when it’s not flood conditions, does not impact us in the same way as it does in more natural settings. With proper rubber boots and waterproof outerwear, we can navigate curb rivers and downpours. We may be soggy, but we’re not deterred.
Self-Care Tips:
Make sure you have shoes and clothing for the rain. An old Scandinavian saying goes, “There is no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.” Being prepared is self-care.
Notice how different weather affects you. Respect the weather’s impact so that you are attuned to yourself in relationship to your environmental conditions.
Dance. Play the music you like or find a playlist. Even if you feel achy, it fires up muscles and brings joy no matter the weather.
Manhattan is slower to display the vibrant array of Autumn colors associated with this season. I had planned to leave the city to enjoy the same lush views that friends had posted in their feeds. That never happened so I opted to wait for our city’s briefer period of transformation. It has yet to fully show itself. However, my walk to the North Woods in Central Park gave me a glimpse of what’s to come. The North Woods themselves are still greenish. But the walk to and from the north end of the park gifted me with moments of yellows, oranges and reds.
It’s been a while since I’ve been able to enjoy a long walk in the park and I had to purposefully enjoy the walk rather than making the hunt for changing leaves the goal. Sometimes being intentional is an afterthought in my activities. And it almost was an afterthought when I suddenly realized how fortunate I was to have the afternoon off so that I could walk in Central Park. With that, my cadence shifted from racing to find new colors to being curious and excited about what I may find.
That shift was invaluable. It allowed me to view the beauty of the park and the city rather than coming from a position of deprivation. I began my walk feeling like I was missing Autumn’s splendor, but I was able to alter my perspective to one of appreciating the abundance of all Central Park offers. And, truth be told, I will get to see Fall Foliage in the weeks to come. That’s the joy of delayed gratification.
Self-Care Tips:
If you find you are in a deprivation mindset, take a moment. Look again to see if you can specify something you appreciate. It may be that it’s sunny. It may be the cool air on your face. It may be gratitude that you can move parts of your body without pain. It may be you like being at home. Whatever it is, it’s not a substitute for feelings of deprivation, but it is a reminder that it’s not an all-or-nothing life.
If you’re near a bathroom, don’t delay when you have to go. It’s a message to yourself and your body that your physical needs take priority. I got used to delaying until I couldn’t wait, because it’s what many of us learned in school, and, in my case, and perhaps yours, what I learned at home. It no longer needs to be that way. It’s a regular bodily function that supports our comfort.
Send a friend or a family member a hand-written note. I know it’s passé, but as a boomer, I know the value of receiving mail that’s not junk or a bill.
janetzinn 