Tag Archives: busy lives

Choices

Posted on by
3

Unknown-1Someone else doing yoga

I am not going to my yoga class today. If I go I won’t get a chance to write, and I want to go for a jog before work, too, which I won’t be able to do if I go to my class. I love yoga and will miss the stretching and the relaxation that comes from the class. Lately I’ve chosen not to go more often than I go. I miss it. But when I do go, I miss these easy mornings before long days. I miss time spent with the family in the morning, or taking Lucy, our dog, for a walk and enjoying beautiful Carl Shurz Park. With every choice I gain something and I lose something else.

ImageLucy

Unknown-2A View of Carl Shurz Park

When I was in my 20’s & 30’s I hated making choices. I felt personally responsible for others’ happiness and if I made a choice that someone didn’t like, then I felt deeply guilty. I always said, “it doesn’t matter to me, you decide.” Often I did have a preference. I preferred to go to a café rather than a coffee shop for breakfast, but I kept my mouth shut, while I silently regretted their decision. It took a long time for me to be able to voice my preferences. It’s not always easy, but I’d rather have a say in what happens, feel whatever I feel in relationship to the results than resent the ultimate outcome.

When we’ve experienced deprivation in any form making certain choices can feel daunting. We know we’ll feel a loss of what we don’t get, even as we know we’ll enjoy what we have. This has happened to me on vacations. By the time I take a vacation, I am so looking forward to the rest. Yet, because I yearn to travel the world, I am sad that I’m not choosing the Amalfi Coast over an inn in Connecticut. The practical, easier choice is the inn, which will be lovely. But the Amalfi Coast looks splendid. And, Italy is a wonderful country. If, in the end, I choose to go abroad, then I choose wander over simplicity.

6951_p1The Bee & Thistle Inn

Unknown-1Amalfi Coast

No, I am not deprived in that I get a vacation, a luxurious option in any life. But considering my options brings up all the times I had to do what I was told without being able to voice my unhappiness or disgust. The fear of the consequences of voicing my displeasure always seemed worse than just doing what I was told.   So even though my current life is not one of deprivation, making a simple choice can feel oppressive. But with practice the deprivation lessens, and the choices get easier. So, as I learn from a day without yoga , I feel more equipped to make the harder choices that life brings our way. And, I don’t feel like the old victim because I now understand that I do have a say.

Napping; A Ground-Spirituality Post

Posted on by
2

DSC_0001I admit it, I take naps. They are a small delight given my crowded schedule. I used to think that naps were a luxury I couldn’t afford. I had to get on with life, seizing every moment. Days were filled with activities, proving how busy I was. Somehow being busy justified my existence. Or, rather, I defended against the notion that I was lazy. It all started when my Grandmom Becky called me lazy when I was a teen. To her it was a nasty trait, with filth as a close second. She spent hours mopping her white tiled, kitchen floor. When finished she’d scrub any perceived grout from her bathtub. If she wasn’t cleaning she was exercising, staying fit well into her late 90s. Although I could never keep up with her undiagnosed OCD, her unbridled criticism had a long-term impact. I learned to have a lot going on. Now I’m undoing that training.

I started with planned naps. I would schedule a nap as a therapeutic response to exhaustion. Naps were utilitarian. No longer. Now I am happy to take a nap, planned or otherwise. I long for a Mediterranean lifestyle of yore, one in which siestas were a way of life. I like getting up early, and I enjoy working or going out at night. In-between a nap creates a civilized break, a refreshing reprieve ending one part of my day before the start of another.

Our overly crammed lives have taken us away from the natural pleasure of a short slumber. Like eating when we’re hungry and stopping when full, napping is a way to honor our body’s exhaustion level and take care of ourselves. The fullness of our lives don’t lend themselves to regular napping. But I’m happy to learn from infants. When they’ve had enough they’re down for the count. Napping might not have the spiritual cache of mindfulness or mediation, but turning off our minds has a positive impact. It’s like reading a good novel rather than an important self-help book. At this point, I read a few pages of fiction before I nod off, telephone on silent.

sleeping-infant