“Almost everything will work if you unplug it for a few minutes….including you.” -Anne Lamott-”
There are some days that I just don’t want to do anything. And if I have to do something it can feel particularly labored. I woke up this morning with a strong case of I don’t wanna. I was still tired, though I received eight hours of sleep. I was achy even though I’m stretching more given the needs of being in my mid-60s. I was able to get away last weekend, though it now feels like it was weeks ago.
The issue for me is that there is a lot to get done. The challenge is to break it down into what has to get done today as opposed to what I can do another time. When I feel like this I try to listen. I assume it means I need a break. And to get that break, I am choosing to do less today.
With that in mind, I will share more pictures taken earlier this week, and I will write less now.
Self-Care Tips:
When you have the belabored feeling that “it’s all too much,” see if you can take a short break. When we’re feeling overwhelmed, a break can feel counterintuitive, but in actuality it can allow you to move forward with a new willingness.
Don’t underestimate the power of small steps forward. Our minds often think in “all or nothing” ways rather than taking little actions that can create lasting changes.
Enjoy the solar eclipse with safe eyewear wherever you are in its path.
I made a trip to DC this weekend. I was going to visit family, see a musical, get to the National Portrait Gallery and enjoy the cherry blossoms. I was able to enjoy time with my family and see a most wonderful show at Arena Stage Theater. Bu it turns out the Cherry Blossoms were premature this year due to the warmer winter months. I thought I was early enough but that was not the case. I saw trees with waning petals, the best in Takoma Park, MD. But the city failed to provide me with the simple joy of full flowered trees wherever I went.
My first sighting was while on a speeding train due south. It looked promising on the bank of a river. Once in the city limits, I got to my hotel room and ran out to ensure the best viewing possible. Instead, they mostly alluded me. I was able to spot a few here and there. I walked the length of the mall to see what I could find. There was one cropping which was filled with a crowd, mostly posing under and close to the trees. Apparently a lot of people were visiting the capitol for the love of cherry blossoms.
Though the cherry blossoms were disappointing for the most part, it turned into a game and each time I saw a flowering tree I got excited. A made-up game, similar to those I played as a child. The real thrill was seeing my in-laws who I haven’t seen in years. They had changed and at the same time were very much the same in a comforting way that comes from familiarity. Their garden is the product of love. Their home, filled with beautiful artwork, was good to see again after too much time had passed. Then, last evening was a true gift. The Unknown Soldier, a stunning musical with beautifully woven threads composed by Michael Friedman, is a rich, nuanced show with an outstanding cast. Though I didn’t see it when it premiered in New York City at Playwright’s Horizon, it was wonderful to enjoy in in DC.
Outside the theater as light raindrops suddenly and unexpectedly arrived, an errant cherry blossom landed in my hair. My weekend was complete.
Self-Care Tips:
Create a game for yourself this Spring of finding and naming flowers as you go about your activities.
When you have an unfulfilled expectation, try to balance disappointment with discovery of hidden gifts. It’s important you don’t deny your feelings. But equally important that your disappointment doesn’t obscure something agreeable.
If you’ve been meaning to call, write or visit someone, reach out. We more often regret what we haven’t done rather than the actions we take.
It was a quiet day. Not the reading a book while sipping tea on a rainy-day type of quiet. It was quiet because I wasn’t plugged into a device. The TV was not on. The quiet came from not connecting my phone to my earbuds to listen to a book, a podcast or music. It’s even quiet now as I’m writing this. Lucy, who is asleep next to me isn’t even snoring. She must be enjoying the quiet, too.
It’s rare that I’m not listening or talking when walking. While walking in the rain there were few pedestrians, keeping the sound low even on city streets. Since my days are full of sounds, both cacophonous and melodic, I took note when I realized I had not continued listening to my book. Currently it’s the bold, beautiful Lessons for Survival, written and read by Emily Raboteau. She cares so deeply about our planet and our neglected populations, and her passion is contagious. Nor had I chosen between the two albums I’ve been enjoying, Natalie Douglas’s new “Back to the Garden,” as well as Rhiannon Giddens most recent “You’re the One.” I went to both concerts and listening to their most recent music with their gorgeous voices has been joyful.
Nonetheless, it was not the day for that. I think I needed the quiet. There was a peacefulness in the quiet. A rare experience of peace with so much going on in the world that is anything but peaceful. In the city, as vibrant as it is, would rarely be describe as peaceful or quiet. I think that is what made it so special. Sometimes an unplanned divergence from our routines can be a very special gift.
Self-Care Tips:
Switch up your routine. You may find reading or viewing something different teaches you something you didn’t know about yourself or others.
If you prefer the quiet, listen to music to open up new neuropathways. If you are usually listening to something or have the TV on in the background, turn them off to experience something different. Notice what you feel in the quiet.
Get to know the music of Rhiannon Giddens. It’s so varied. Or listen to the award-winning Natalie Douglas. Her voice is golden. Both have a range of styles.
We can be shiny and perfect and admired, or we can be real and honest and vulnerable and loved. But we actually do have to choose. Glennon Doyle Melton
I listen to Glennon’s podcast, “We Can Do Hard Things.” On one of her podcasts she said that she used to worry that no one was listening to her. Her audiences were small, her readership small. But then she started seeing and hearing the few who were listening. She realized that each person was important, not the number itself. It was so meaningful to hear that. I have taken it to heart.
A couple of years ago I had an idea for a book on courage. I worked on it assiduously, but it needed more rewrites. I took a break. The first thing I was told while writing the first draft was to build a platform. I was told if publishing companies would take me on as an unknown author they needed a large following from me. I tried to expand my readership as a blogger. I put out a few failed TikTok videos. I posted to most social media platforms. I was pushing too hard and not sufficiently expanding at my slow pace.
I’m no salesperson. Being an “influencer” requires a certain amount of salesmanship. It’s a specific skill set that I lack. In high school I tried sales, but it cost me more in gas than I ever made in earnings. Now, even though I’m supposed to be building a platform, I, instead, am finding out more about my readers. You matter. I am so grateful for your likes, your comments, your writings, posts and shares. I truly believe individuality outweighs crowds.
I am no longer upset, as I was when I was younger, when a party was small. I sadly focused on those who didn’t come rather than the caring souls who attended. That was a function of insecurity. It took a long time for me to appreciate those who show up. I can deal with small numbers of likes. I can look at the list and appreciate each person who has generously given of his/her/their time and consideration. My self-worth, our self-worth, is not how many people we connect with, but the quality of any and all connections.
I don’t know how many books of my pandemic era blog posts I’ll sell. I went with a hybrid press, Atmosphere Press, so I didn’t have to fully rely on my lack of sales acumen. They’d like me to sell a lot books, but it’s not a dealbreaker. Instead, I can continue to value the individual over the many.
I thank you for reading this, for being a part of my life, albeit, online, yet meaningful, nonetheless. You have truly helped.
Self-Care Tips:
* When you find that things didn’t turn out the way you expected, see if you can find the small gem in the new circumstances. It may not compensate for what you had hoped for, but it can give you something you didn’t know you needed.
* Think small. We often get overtaken by big numbers, big experiences. When we can be in the moment, we feel alive in a very special way.
* We live in a time of feeling overwhelmed. We can mitigate that by acknowledging what we have accomplished rather than focusing on what we think we have to get done.
“Salad can get a bad rap. People think of bland and watery iceberg lettuce, but in fact, salads are an art form.” – Marcus Samuelsson
I made miso dressing this past week. It turned out well. I tweaked the recipe so that it had a slight sweetness to balance the umami tones. Before that it was buttermilk dressing. Growing up we had a fresh salad every night. And my mother was a stickler for homemade dressing. She favored vinaigrettes when I got older, but before that we enjoyed homemade Russian dressing, Thousand Island Dressing, Italian, and Roquefort. There was a distinct difference between her dressings and the bottled versions of Wishbone and Kraft.
The same was true of baked goods. Though my mother was a health advocate, adding up to ten vegetables in our salads, when guests were visiting or a birthday was upon us, she baked from scratch. I could tell immediately when a boxed mix was served because, once again, there was a noticeable discrepancy between completely homemade and Betty Crocker. Because our mother also taught us manners, though I was disappointed when bottled salad dressing or boxed cake was served, I simply say, “Thank you,” rather than explain the virtues of flavor from the real thing.
In short, my mother created a food snob. Now, making my own salad dressing, unless I’m simply having olive oil and vinegar, is a fact of life. I like having two on hand depending on my mood that day. And, though, like my mom, I throw in a lot of ingredients in my salad, I’ve tweaked my preferences, opting for cooked mushrooms over raw, and possibly finely-chopped, leftover roasted vegetables instead of all crunchy toppers. I Like my mother I also add fruit to my salads. Recently it’s been figs. Though in the winter, clementines are a favorite. I am so grateful to my mom that she taught me to enjoy the creative process of good salad making, and the pure enjoyment of a delicious salad dressed with homemade ingredients.
Self-Care Tips:
Get creative with your salads. In the winter see if you can add heartier ingredients like grains or winter squash. And, if you can, create a simple homemade dressing, giving yourself a special treat.
Try a balancing exercise. It’s great to practice balance. Even if you lift up a foot and stand on one leg, then the other, for a few seconds, it will help your brain as well as your balance.
Simply say thank you if someone shares something with you, even if you don’t particularly like it. It’s kinder than sharing your disapproval.
“Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent” Victor Hugo
Yesterday I was in sweats, my hair, stiff, frizzy, and dry while getting paperwork done in-between laundry loads. Nothing glamorous about the day. I was comfortable and perhaps a bit tired from a late night. The late night was very unexpected. I had a subscription to the New York Pops at Carnegie Hall. It has turned out to be a marvelous series. On Friday night I, along with a sold-out house, thoroughly enjoyed an evening of Gershwin music featuring the vocalist, Montego Glover and the pianist, Lee Musiker.
I sat enthralled when Lee Musiker played the piano for a Rhapsody in Blue, newly interpreted for this performance. Our seats gave us a perfect view of his hands dancing on the keyboard as he reinterpreted this classis piece. It was magical. I had seen him play before, and have always been impressed, but this was something beyond that.
Much to my surprise a friend of a friend invited us backstage and then to a reception following the concert. Maestro Musiker’s sister had flown up from Florida to hear her brother perform, and I had just met her briefly at Carnegie Hall. Everyone backstage and at the reception was warm and friendly. They were music lover after all.
The two days, Friday and Saturday couldn’t have been more opposite. On the one hand, on Friday night I was in the company of the best of the best in music, Steven Reineke, a charismatic and highly talented conductor, Montego Glover, a renowned vocalist, and the Grammy & Emmy award winning pianist, Lee Musiker, who was beyond gracious. Being an audience member of the exceptional concert was extraordinary. Then to see the artists up close and in-person was incomparable.
In contrast to Friday night, I woke up exhausted but content on Saturday. I knew I had a lot on my plate for the weekend and I set out to do the chores that I neither welcomed nor relished but had to get done. So, without fanfare, I dutifully took care of my chores while in my sweats basking in the memory of the previous evening.
Self-Care Tips:
When you’re faced with unwanted tasks, think of something you’re looking forward to that will get you through. Or think of something you have previously enjoyed. It makes the chore more tolerable.
There are great recordings and videos of Gershwin classics online. Give yourself a treat and listen to the music of an American Master. Try: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cH2PH0auTUU
Enjoy the Puppy Bowl 2024 today on Animal Planet or Discovery.
“Don’t wait for people to tell you who you are. Show them. “
Laura Benanti
I just came home from seeing Audible Theater’s production of Nobody Cares, written and performed by Laura Benanti. She is a singular talent. Before the show there were a bevy of celebrities in the audience including Patti Lupone, Sarah Bareiles, and Larry Owens. They came to enjoy an evening featuring their colleague and friend.
I laughed aloud when I wasn’t deeply moved by Laura Benanti’s honesty and vulnerability. She mentions her therapist in the show, and I was honestly jealous that I’m not her therapist. Although, perhaps, in that case, I wouldn’t have been at the theater for what turned out to be a delightful experience.
There are only three performances before it’s mastered for Audible. You can hear it as an Audible production. And, though I enjoyed the visuals of the show, I will absolutely purchase the Audible version. No doubt I’ll get looks when I’m laughing aloud listening to the recorded version on one of my walks.
While I was downtown there were long lines to get into the comedy club around the corner from the theater. The restaurants were packed, and the streets were full of visitors experiencing the Greenwich Village lifestyle, if only for a night.
The city offers so much, and for tonight it was the incomparable Laura Benanti.
Self-Care Tips:
Go for a walk while the sun is out. The days have been gloomy and it’s impacted our moods. Take in all the vitamin D you can and notice the difference.
Laugh. Whether you look at New Yorker cartoons, watch silly videos, or turn on an old sitcom, there is nothing like laughter to break up the stress.
Enjoy soup in this cold weather. Make your own or buy one you like. Warm soup can be so comforting.
“To write is human, to receive a letter: Divine!” ― Susan Lendroth
Yesterday evening I dropped a card off at the midtown east post office. I was late in sending it and the post office was close to my plans for the evening. For years I’ve passed by the public sculpture out front. But I didn’t expect sculptures inside the post office. It was a nice surprise.
I love when life throws a curve ball and I’m there to catch it. It’s a rare occasion. Yet every so often, like last night, I was able to enjoy some unexpected art. I shouldn’t have been surprised. The artwork of the stamps have become more beautiful as time has passed. Long gone are the days of blue rolls of five cent George Washington portraits.
I recently purchased a sheet of RGB stamps. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. My current favorites are the 2024 love stamp, the waterfalls, the deco style railroad stations stamps, the most recent Hanukkah stamp, marine sanctuary stamps, and women’s rowing team stamps. The designs are easy inspiration to send cards through the mail. There’s nothing like getting a handwritten note among the bills and junk mail. Snail mail may be old school, but sometimes something old school brings new surprises.
Self-Care Tips:
Look for art in unexpected places. Whether you’re in a post-office, a park, a mall, or simply walking around, enjoy it where you can.
Go to USPS.com and purchase stamps that you like. It will make sending mail more fun.
Send a card to a friend or family member. They will appreciate it.
“Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.” ― Ellen DeGeneres
I spent yesterday procrastinating. I cooked, I baked, I looked things up online. What I didn’t do was tally my expenses for budgeting and taxes. I am not fond of bookkeeping. Nonetheless, I was able to sit down and focus after I did everything I could to avoid the inevitable. It wasn’t as bad as I anticipated. Nor was it as fun as taking the day off.
It’s funny that I can be disciplined in some ways and amazingly avoidant of other things. We are all studies in contrasts. Having procrastinated for many years, I now understand my need to do other things before facing the task at hand. It helps for me to include my procrastination time as part of the deal. If I think it can get done in two hours, I must plan for four.
It’s a kindness to include procrastination, in any form, when planning an unwanted chore. I am easier on myself if I’m not spending a lot of my mental energy on questioning myself for not being on task. It helps to incorporate the procrastination into the task, appreciating that I’m in the process of getting my bookkeeping done, or whatever completed, and this is what it looks like.
Self-Care Tips:
The next time you have a dreaded task give yourself enough time to procrastinate. You’ll feel lighter.
View the procrastination as getting more done rather than less. For example, yesterday I not only did the bookkeeping, but I also made meals for the week.
Even if it’s cold, try to get outside. The air can reinvigorate if cold, and soothe if warmer.
janetzinn 